Nervous Norman

By John McMenamin

Poor we Pam, diazepam
Has put her on her back
The doctor said, “Go out at night
“And have a bit of craic”.

Huckleberry Finn, Magherlin
Tadpoles playing leap-frog
Premier Blair, losing hair
Poodle soon bald dog

United Nations, give me patience
Heap them up on trollies
Quango’s go see Eskimo
Freezing off his jollies.

Nigel Dodds, fishing rods
Hiberniian Queen called Mary
Judges say “At end of day
“What makes Paul so merry”

Stratocasters, Ghetto blasters
“Can’t hear what you say”
Chinese noodles, pampered poodles
No wonder hen won’t lay.

Ivory Coast, Marmite toast

Trousers tight round groin
Hello Joe, sperm count low?
No child will spring from loin

Dali Lama, Bananaerma
DUP on bus
Ian say, in biblical way
“There’s only room for –US”.

Morning rain, fall on Sinn Fein
Gerry’s beard need trimming
Martin roar, “Open door
The day is at the dimming”.

Computer screen, beauty queens
Google, show the way
Feel Forlorn? Click some porn
Credit card will pay.

Tonight there will be slippery patches
Especially on the Glenshane Pass
And under the oxters of eels
Which have not been gritted.

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