Christmas Sucks

By John McMenamin

Lop-sided trees
And fairy lights
Rows in pubs
Which end in fights.

Drunken Santas
Ho-Ho-Ho
Puckered lips
And Mistletoe.

Buskers singing
Songs of gladness
Cheap wine helps
To drown the sadness.

Big Aggie, bought some festive drawers
With holly around the gusset
They didn’t have them in snow white
They’re a funny shade of russet.

Naked birds
In cellophane
Plucked and waxed
They look obscene.

Wee Andy’s clinging to the bar
Two candles at his nose
His face is white as virgin snow
Yet his nose, red as the rose?

Christmas shopping
Crowded stores
Enter by
The swinging doors.

Angry faces
Children huffin’
“Maggie, don’t forget
The stuffing.”

Children crying with exhaustion

Screaming like banshees
Clinging like a limpet
To Mummy’s tired knees.

After shave

For Uncle Harry
A pair of socks
For cousin Larry.

Would your Mother wear this hat?

Where the hell’s wee Jimmy at?
Why did we leave it oh so late?
I don’t feel love, I’m full of hate.

Red faced man

Buys saucy knickers
Children fight
Spouses bickers.

Christmas Eve

Let’s all be merry
I’ll have a brandy
To hell with sherry.

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