THERE'S NOT A LOT TO DO IN THE COUNTRY!!By John McMenamin Oh, my name is Nellie Bogle
I live out in the sticks
And running after baldy men
It's how I get my kicks. I'm as surprised as a whippet
My legs are long and lean
And I'm off just like a greyhound
When a baldy man is seen. I chase them through the meadows
I chase them through the park
I chase them in the daylight
I chase them in the dark. I sit with my binoculars
At a window in my home
And the air stands up upon my neck
When I spot a baldy dome. Then I slip into my trainers
And hollar "Tally Ho"
I'm on the trail of a baldy man
Running bent and low. The slap heads tries to get away
With his face all bright and red
But I see the sun a' glinting off
His big fat baldy head. Eggo runs into the water
To put me off the scent
But I got splashing after him
Running low and bent. Now he's in the briars
And travelling all about
I throw a stone in after him
And the baldy man shouts out. Up the fairy mountain
And down the fairy glen
The greatest pleasure in my life
Is chasing baldy men. He runs into the forest
But I am on his trail
"Tally Ho" I holler
And I chase the baldy male. The egghead now has doubled back
He's making for his home
I moved into a second gear
As I chase the shining dome. The hairless one is tired now
I see him look around
He dived into a rabbit hole
The baldy man has gone to ground. I hear the bald one panting
And I give a hunters shout
Then get doen on my hands and knees
To dig the bugger out. Soon the clay is flying
In the midst of golden sand
And lying, rolled up in a ball
I find the baldy man. I grab him by the baldy head
And pull him on the grass
He's rolled up like a hedgehog
So I kick him up the ass Please let me go says baldy dome
I wish I was at home
I laugh and say, "Hey baldy man,
Where do you keep your comb?" Oh my name is Nellie Bogle
I live out in the sticks
And running after baldy men
Is how I get my kicks. <...back | 
