"ITMA" - No.5
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Announcer. "IT'S THAT MAN AGAIN"! |
(Band "It's that man again) |
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| CHORUS. | It's that man again, |
| Yes, that man again, |
| Yes, sir, Tommy Handley is here. |
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| ANNOUNCER. | He's here alright, and ready to cope with any trouble - |
| And there's bound to be lots of it. |
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| CHORUS. | Mother's pride and joy, |
| Mrs Handley's boy, |
| Oh, it's useless to complain. |
| When trouble's brewing, it's his doing, |
| That man - that man again. |
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| FRED. | Pray, scilence for his Nit-wit the Mayor! |
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(Applause) |
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| TOM. | Hello folks - I'm back in my Mayor's |
| parlour - up to my usual palour games. I introduced one or two of them to the council last week. We were going to play organs and lemons, , but as we were all over seven and one of us over the eight, we played carrots and turnips instead. What with the potatoes in my socks and the leeks in the roof, I can only describe the result as stupendous! And then we played "Tiddley-Winks" with the lady councillors - they supplied the tiddley and I supplied the winks. After that - |
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(Door Opens) |
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| SYDNEY. | Boss, boss - you'll have to call the police |
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| TOM. | I've called them every name I can think of - |
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| SYDNEY. | No - no - I mean you gotta call 'em out - |
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| TOM. | What! Before closing time? I can't - |
| they're on pint duty! |
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| SYDNEY. | But boss - all them crooks you let out of |
| quadlast week is shooting up the town - they're all over the place. |
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| TOM. | They can't be worse than the crooks on |
| the council. |
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| SYDNEY. | An boss, the whole town's goin' to rack |
| and ruin. |
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| TOM. | Rack and ruin? Are they still on at the |
| Empire? Ring up my lawyer, he'll get them off. |
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| SIDNEY. | I'm telling you boss - if you won't clean |
| up this town, then me my buddie and me'll clean it up for ya! |
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| TOM. | Go to it Sam. You can have my bucket |
| and shovel. |
