When Starsky and Hutch chugged its way into the office at Secret Level’s headquarters, Clarkestar was seemingly apprehensive.

For Clarkestar remembered the 70s TV madcap cop duo well – he remembered how he would wince at Hutch’s ostensibly camp behaviour, and how he would recoil at Starsky’s obsession with donning naff clothes.

But this did not deter the Clarkestar from watching, for the youngster derived an appeal that lay beneath this repulsive pink glamour.

And it wasn’t just the notion that he too might one day don a girlfriend (for even he knew that some goals could never be reached).

But believe it or not, Clarkestar shared an affiliation with Starsky and Hutch, for he also shared a fascination with pushing honking great shinny lumps of mechanical genius to their limits (although he never actually tried), which often resulted in dire consequences – a sticky wet blanket and pillows swamped in drool.

With the press release promising a story-based police driving action game, taking place in a truly 3D world modelled after the series location of "Bay City", the question on the game’s maestro mind was ‘how good exactly will the game incarnation match up?’

Starsky and Hutch - not the best says Clarkestar.

So (understandably) the Clarkestar was a little eager to play, so without any further delay Starsky and Hutch was fondly slotted into his GBA and the power switch flicked to on.

And after a few random button presses later, he found himself burning pixels down the streets of Bay City, stamping out the bad guys while attempting all matter of dangerous driving manoeuvres (parallel parking being just one!).

But then it suddenly dawned on him – Clarkestar was not ‘burning rubber’; he was negotiating a slug around the worst case of pop up since Hungry Hungry Hippos… er, popped up in our toy stores.

Clarkestar’s patience with trying to pull off accurate 180 degree power slides around imperceptible corners wore thin very quickly.

But being a fair guy, Starsky and Hutch's mission based action would get at least one more try – perhaps some dignity could be salvaged from the abysmally unplayable free roaming levels?

Clarkestar played in hope. But after a few hours it became blatant that there was no fun to be had here. For Starsky and Hutch was relentless in spewing out repetitive levels that oozed nothing more than frustration - Clarkestar had to restrain himself from gorging out his eyes with nothing more than his GBA on several occasions

But nevertheless, he found himself admiring the level of detail to Bay City – and realised that Starsky and Hutch is rare in that it looks better in stills.

And this is perhaps its problem. The crime/racing genre derives pleasure from its lapidary balance of motion and action. Despite possessing bucketfuls of ambition, Starsky and Hutch (GBA) fails to deliver – leaving Clarkestar to ponder over why this game was even attempted.

4/10

Clarkestar

GAME SCREENSHOTS