14 February 2003
Hitting Home - Jerry's story | |
| 
| | "I felt I can’t really tell anyone because I’m a guy and this doesn’t happen to guys" |
| | When his partner started hitting him Jerry felt he wouldn’t be taken seriously - not just because he was a male victim of domestic violence, but also because he is gay. |
| | | ‘At the time I felt I can’t really tell anyone because I’m a guy and this doesn’t happen to guys’.
When his partner started hitting him Jerry felt he wouldn’t be taken seriously - not just because he was a male victim of domestic violence, but also because he is gay.
Jerry had been living with his partner for a year when Steve started accusing him of having an affair. The violence started in a jealous outburst and got worse from then on.
‘After that, any minor disagreement became an almighty issue with him,’ says Jerry, ‘and violence was often the result. I ended up in hospital a couple of times - he even pushed me down the stairs once.’
 | | "The secrecy was oppressive" |
The secrecy was oppressive: ‘Steve insisted that it was ‘our problem’ and that it stayed between ourselves’.
Jerry knew that friends saw him with bruises that he couldn’t have got playing football and that increased his feelings of shame and isolation.
He found that his legal options as a gay man were limited too - when he went to see his solicitor she told him there was more protection for straight couples.
Eventually he did confide in a few friends to try to break his sense of isolation, and that helped. One of them told him about a new police unit in his area that was dealing specifically in domestic violence in same sex relationships.
‘They were absolutely fantastic about my situation,’ he says. ‘They took a statement from me, and eventually, after I decided I wanted them to take action, Steve was arrested and cautioned. That finally made him realise that he was committing a serious crime.’
‘I’m in another relationship now and I’ve not experienced violence from anyone else since. The important thing is to recognise the signs - I wouldn’t wait as long to take action as I did before.’ | | | |
|
|
