| 1 At the beautician do you use the emergency entrance? 2 She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down 3 Look at him, living proof that care in the community doesn't work. 4 You're a real Action Man: crew cut, realistic scar, and no genitals 5 Now do you see what happens when cousins marry? 6 I can hardly contain my indifference 7 When they made you they broke the mould but some of it grew back. 8 Did the aliens forget to remove your probes? 9 Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed 10 Are they your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage 11 I'm not your type - I'm not inflatable 12 I'm trying to imagine you with personality 13 How many times do I have to flush before you go away? 14 I never forget a face and I can remember both of yours 15 Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it? 16 Just smile and say "Yes Master" 17 Mummy, I want to grow up to be neurotic like you 18 You look like s**t, is that the style now? 19 And which dwarf are you? 20 Do you know I went through the bargain bin and didn't see that one? 21 If I said anything to offend it was purely intentional 22 That's a fun outfit-it's fancy dress right? 23 Nice dress. Are you hoping to slim into it? 24 He is so ugly they printed his face on airline sick bags 25 I hate everybody and you're next 26 I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now 27 Of course I don't look busy - I did it right the first time 28 I'm multi talented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time 29 How can I miss you if you won't go away? 30 You're one of those bad things that happen to good people 31 If we are what we eat: you're fast, cheap and easy 32 Sorry if I looked interested - I'm not 33 Well today was a total waste of make up, wasn't it? 34 I'm not your type - I have a pulse 35 Yes, It looks like a willy, only smaller 36 Please keep talking - I need the sleep 37 I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it 38 I like you, you remind me of when I was young and stupid 39 What am I? Fly-paper for freaks? 40 See
. you should never drink on an empty head 41 You're depriving a village somewhere of an idiot 42 There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation wouldn't cure 43 I may not be the best looking guy in here but I'm the only one talking to you 44 Is that your face or are you trying it out for an ugly sister 45 Wow! - You've been hit really hard by the ugly stick 46 Nice hair. Was it that shape when you bought it? 47 I just don't hate myself enough to go out with you 48 Please don't try and kiss me, I'll only laugh 49 You're not paranoid, everyone does hate you 50 Go on, I know you like me-I can see your tail wagging 51 Oh please - save your breath to blow up your girlfriend tonight. 52 Her face bears the imprint of the last man who sat on it 53 I've had a lot to drink - you're beginning to look human 54 You're taking a long time making your pointless 55 Do you ever suffer delusions of adequacy? 56 You would be out of your depth in a puddle 57 Your point has been received, understood and ignored 58 Were your parents disappointed? 59 You were born a blonde, right? 60 If I need a worthless opinion, I'll ask - OK? 61 If I said you had a beautiful body would you sue me for slander? 62 I bet you wish you'd married her sister / his brother now don't you? 63 Ladies & Gentlemen, tonight we have a member of the local freak show in to give us a solo spot 64 With a face like that, who needs enemies? 65 If I was that ugly, I'd shave my bum and walk around backwards. 66 I cannot believe that you beat the other five million sperm 67 You mean to say that Worzel Gummidge had offspring? Got some good insults?
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