There's something quite pathetic about "Extreme Ops". It could be the title, which promises a kick-ass thriller about an elite military unit, but delivers a bunch of dumb snowboarders instead.

Or it could be the plot, in which said snowboarders stumble across the hiding place of a Serbian war criminal hilariously named Slobovan Pavlov. (Slobber. Saliva. Pavlov's dog. See what they did?)

Or it could just be the fact that this painfully obvious attempt to tap into the extreme sports phenomenon, by crossing "xXx" with "Vertical Limit" and those old Pepsi Max adverts, is so far past its sell-by-date it ought to come with a complimentary funeral wreath.

Since pulling off the quite remarkable feat of making a boring Wesley Snipes flick in "The Art of War", director Christian Duguay has clearly been told to do his action movie homework.

Deciding that the only way to direct a project entitled "Extreme Ops" is to make everything 'extreme', Duguay cranks up every scene with the kind of adrenal gland overstimulation usually found in a cardiac ward.

The resulting film is more exhausting than exhilarating, possessing all the grace - and intelligence - of a headless chicken.

Quite how Rufus Sewell and Rupert Graves were convinced to take the lead roles in this debacle is something only their bank managers are qualified to answer.

There's certainly no sign of the $40 million budget on screen, since the computer-generated effects could have been knocked up on a PalmPilot, while the supporting cast is full of third-rate nobodies like ex-EastEnder Joe Absolom.

And given the fact that the script features a scene in which an attack helicopter gets taken out by a flying snowboard, one can only assume that the scriptwriter didn't walk away with a big fat bonus either.

"Extreme Ops" opens in UK cinemas on Friday 16th May 2003.