BBC Radio 5 Live

Summary

  • Welcome to the UK’s biggest conversation about mums and mental health.

  • Stacey Solomon, Rochelle Humes, Giovanna Fletcher and DJ Neev join BBC 5 live presenter Anna Foster and an audience of mums, live from Blackpool Tower.

  • Get in touch using the hashtag #mumtakeover

  1. Thank you for joining us!published at 18:58 GMT 28 November 2017

    Thanks for joining us for 5 live's #mumtakeover.

    We've heard stories from mums across the UK both during the event and online.

    We'll leave you with a fitting #mumtakeover illustration by Katie Kirby, the blogger and author behind the popular blog 'Hurrah for Gin'.

    Mums out!

    An illustration showing a mum holding a baby with the words 'you are doing a brilliant job'.Image source, Hurrah for Gin
  2. Anna Foster's #mumtakeover challengepublished at 18:56 GMT 28 November 2017

    What happened when 5 live presenter Anna Foster broke her routine for the day and handed control over to her two kids?

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  3. Parent support groups are an ‘absolute lifeline'published at 18:49 GMT 28 November 2017

    One of the themes of today's #mumtakeover has been how mums cope with feelings of loneliness and isolation.

    Ellie Thouret is a mum of three who co-founded the Cheshire Parents Collective, which helps mums meet other mums.

    “A lot of our groups focus on the theme of looking after yourself and making time for you, which is something that’s really difficult to do when you’ve got young children,” Ellie said.

    Donna, a mum of two, said: "Groups like this are an absolute lifeline really. It can be a lonely time if you don’t know anyone else with a small baby."

    Media caption,

    Members of the Cheshire Parents Collective discuss the importance of parenting groups.

  4. It's nearly time for us to sign-off...published at 18:44 GMT 28 November 2017

    ...but before we do, remember that if you need information or support around any of the issues covered in today's #mumtakeover, please visit BBC Actionline.

    Thank you to our supporters: Netmums, Maternal Mental Health Alliance and Blackpool Better Start. You can find links for them at the top of the live page.

  5. The Every Mum Movement: 'This stigma has to be beaten'published at 18:40 GMT 28 November 2017

    Olivia Siegl founded The Every Mum Movement after suffering mental health problems following the premature and traumatic birth of her first daughter.

    The mum of two wrote about her fears that her baby would be taken away from her if she spoke out in a blog for Netmums.

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    'My ill mental health clothed me in a blanket of silence, gagging me and leaving me empty of words to explain what I was going through,' Olivia wrote.

    'This fear has to stop,' she added, 'this stigma has to be beaten.'

    Get involved in the conversation on social with the #mumtakeover hashtag.

  6. Behind the maternal support forums…published at 18:33 GMT 28 November 2017

    Media caption,

    What does it take to be a parent support worker? We spoke to Karen to find out.

    As part of BBC Radio 5 live's #mumtakeover we spoke to Karen to find out about her work as a parent support worker.

    Karen works for Netmums, offering guidance across their online forums to mums who are experiencing a range of issues, from postnatal depression to domestic abuse.

    “I’ve suffered with postnatal depression myself… I suffered with a miscarriage,” said the mother of two.

    “I needed to have some time and space to open up about what was going on with me.”

    “So whether you’re pregnant mum or a mum who has a two-year-old, you can come and talk to the community on the boards or to a parent support worker, like me."

  7. Lullabies for the modern mumpublished at 18:23 GMT 28 November 2017

    BBC 6 Music presenter Nemone has compiled a playlist of lullabies, external for the 'modern mum'.

    It might be just the thing to help with sleep deprivation, which Nemone struggled with as a new mum after the birth of her daughter.

    "Giving yourself over in the early days completely to them and trying to grab sleep when you can means the days and the nights become a bit of a blur," she said.

    "I can remember some very hazy day-times when i really couldn't remember if it was three o'clock in the afternoon or three o'clock in the morning!"

    You can access the playlist here. , external

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  8. 'For me what helps is real talk'published at 18:11 GMT 28 November 2017

    One Instagram user has opened up about her struggle to overcome loneliness and guilt as a mum.

    Kimberley Nkosi, a mum of two, wrote: 'Almost two years ago I found my self yet again, standing at my window crying, unable to look in the mirror, feeling lonely and wracked with guilt.'

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    She said joining a local gym allowed her to make new friends.

    'A lot of the people I met are all parents [who are] completely open and honest.'

    'For me what helps is real talk,' she added.

  9. What does postnatal depression look like?published at 17:58 GMT 28 November 2017

    One Twitter user shared a photo of herself at the 'height' of postnatal depression.

    She wrote: 'I only shared the happy moments and hid behind a smile.'

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  10. Vlogger Mama C: 'The loneliness can be cutting'published at 17:48 GMT 28 November 2017

    Popular vlogger Candice Brown-Brathwaite, also known as Mama C, has said she struggled with loneliness as a new mum.

    She suffered from postnatal depression after her daughter was born.

    “One thing that affected me more than postnatal depression or the struggle with my mental health, was loneliness as a new mum,” she said.

    “The loneliness can be cutting,” she added.

    “You’ve got to have the right support system in place and you’ve got your friends around you.”

    Media caption,

    Mum vlogger Candice Brown-Brathwaite reveals impact of loneliness following first child.

  11. After-school clubs and 'mum guilt'published at 17:31 GMT 28 November 2017

    A #mumtakeover audience member spoke about 'mum guilt' and after-school clubs with 5 live's Anna Foster.

    She said going to work and university has meant that she has less time to "put aside" for her daughter during the day.

    Media caption,

    A #mumtakeover audience member discusses 'mum guilt' and after-school clubs.

    "You see other mums picking their kids up and I think: 'I wish I could' but we're just not fortunate to be able to live without my wage," she said.

    Have you experienced 'mum guilt'? Get involved with the conversation on social with the #mumtakeover hashtag.

  12. Can doulas help survivors of trauma give birth?published at 17:21 GMT 28 November 2017

    Throughout today's #mumtakeover, we've been discussing all things mums and mental health.

    Vicky developed anxiety and intrusive thoughts after an abusive relationship and two traumatic births.

    "I started having thoughts that someone was going to harm Shane," Vicky said.

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    Vicky enlisted the help of Kati, a doula, for the birth of her third child.

    "Particularly for women who have had traumatic experiences, it's so important that they feel in control," Kati said.

    The Royal College of Midwives said in a statement that they support a woman's choice to enlist a doula's help, but doulas must not provide clinical care.

  13. Anna Foster on 'mum pride'published at 17:08 GMT 28 November 2017

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    We've heard stories during today's #mumtakeover about parents experiencing 'mum guilt'.

    Anna Foster says we need to turn this guilt into 'mum pride'.

    Get involved in the conversation on social with the #mumtakeover hashtag.

  14. Footballer mums share their biggest challengespublished at 17:00 GMT 28 November 2017

    Sophie Bradley Auckland plays for Doncaster Rovers Belles and Sarah Wiltshire plays for Tottenham Hotspur Ladies.

    From struggling to go from breastfeeding to bottle feeding, to sleepless nights caused by teething, Sophie and Sarah share their biggest challenges as mums.

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  15. 5 live's Rachel Burden on the mum she can't manage withoutpublished at 16:48 GMT 28 November 2017

    5 live presenter Rachel Burden said she can't manage without her friend and fellow mum, Laura.

    Who is the mum you can't manage without? Get involved in the conversation on social using the hashtag #mumtakeover.

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  16. 'Spikey Mama' blogger: 'I never feel like I'm getting anything right'published at 16:39 GMT 28 November 2017

    Caro Greenwood is the blogger behind Spikey Mama, a blog about parenting children with and without additional needs.

    She wrote about being 'terrified' when her son, Archie, was born.

    'I was as happy as I was petrified,' she wrote, 'my last baby had died, so I thought he might too.'

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    She wrote: 'These three humans I've produced dominate my brain... but I never ever feel like I'm actually getting anything right.'

    She said the #mumtakeover has made her feel 'less alone.'

  17. Does 'having it all' exist?published at 16:26 GMT 28 November 2017

    Anna Foster asked whether 'having it all', a phrase often bandied about, actually exists.

    Harriet Shearsmith, the blogger behind the popular 'Toby and Roo' blog, said: "I don't even have half of it."

    "How do you cope with the guilt of trying to have it all?" she asked the panel.

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    Netmums' Annie O'Leary said: "I'm a big believer in the 70% rule, 70% is enough."

    "You can only do what you can do," she added.

  18. Hurrah for Gin illustrates how it can feel to be a mumpublished at 16:13 GMT 28 November 2017

    Katie Kirby, the blogger and author behind the popular 'Hurrah for Gin' blog, has created illustrations to describe what it's like to be a mum.

    According to Katie, Hurrah for Gin aims to be a real and humorous account of parenting young children.

    A stick drawing showing a mum bombarded with thoughts of being a 'bad mum' or a 'bad person'.Image source, Hurrah for Gin

    The illustrations for the #mumtakeover show mums worrying about being a 'bad mum' and rejecting labels like 'slummy mummy'.

    A stick drawing of a mum and child with motherhood labels such as 'bad mum', 'yummy mummy' crossed out.Image source, Hurrah for Gin

    One of Katie's illustrations shows a mum reaching out to another mum for help and support.

    Stick drawing of mums talking to each other and offering support to a struggling mum.Image source, Hurrah for Gin

    You can get involved in the conversation on social with the hashtag #mumtakeover.

  19. Stories of 'mum guilt' at the #mumtakeover eventpublished at 15:57 GMT 28 November 2017

    A mother holding her babyImage source, iStock

    Mothers say they suffer from 'mum guilt' and are too ashamed to ask for help for fear of looking like a failure.

    This was the shared experience voiced by mums and dads at today's #mumtakeover.

    Stacey Solomon said: "I'm a working mum so I thought that was why I felt mum guilt because I can't always be with my kids.

    "But I have friends who are stay-at-home mums who say they feel guilty because they're not giving their kids that job to aspire to.

    "So it's all of us. It's constant."

    You can read more here.

  20. Five things not to say to parents of autistic childrenpublished at 15:41 GMT 28 November 2017

    Danielle’s teenage daughter Poppy has autism and her friend, Leah, has three sons with the condition.

    They have shared five things they are sick of hearing as parents of autistic children.

    Media caption,

    Two mums, whose children have autism, list the things they are sick of hearing.