BULLYING

Bullying is something that affects most children at some point during their school life. As a parent, it can be hard to know what to do if you suspect that your child is a victim of bullying. It can be a distressing experience for parents, often made worse by the fact that your child may find it difficult to approach you. This fact sheet outlines some pointers that may indicate bullying, advice for parents about how to tackle the problem, contacts for organisations and helplines and advice for parents and children alike as well, whether they be victims of bullying or bullies themselves.

IS YOUR CHILD BEING BULLIED?
Bullying can take may different forms, anything from being called names in the playground to physical abuse and theft or damaging of possessions. Your child may not feel able to talk to you directly so below are some pointers to help parents recognise signs of bullying:

• Coming home with cuts and bruises, torn clothes
• Asking for stolen possessions to be replaced
• ‘Losing’ dinner money
• Falling out with previously good friends · Being moody and bad tempered · Becoming quiet and withdrawn
• Wanting to avoid leaving the house · Complaints of headaches and stomach pains · Aggression with brothers and sisters · Doing less well at schoolwork · Insomnia or bedwetting · Anxiety · Changes in eating habits

WHAT TO DO?

Patience and acceptance are key to helping your child. Explain that being a victim of bullying is not their fault.
Encourage him or her to talk to you before you approach schools. Reassure them that there are people to support them if they are unable to talk to you. It is important not to pressurise them however - suggest that they may talk to their teacher, GP, other relatives or phone Childline (0800 1111). There is also advice available for children at www.student.city.ac.uk.

It is a good idea for both you and your child to keep a journal. As well as allowing your child to gain confidence in expressing him/herself, it is useful to have a bullying report when you contact schools so try to keep a log of events, letters and phonecalls.

Check the school’s anti-bullying procedures and approach the head to discuss how things might be improved.

For further advice on how to address your concerns and complaints to schools and other authorities or for advice on any aspect of parenting, contact Parentline Plus on 0808 800 2222 or visit their website at www.parentlineplus.org.uk. Another website with useful information for parents, relatives and children is Bullying Online, www.bullying.co.uk.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS ACCUSED OF BULLYING

As with a child who is a victim of bullying, it is important that you allow your child the opportunity to give his/her side of the story, whilst firmly explaining that bullying is unacceptable. Bullying is often a symptom of deeper problems. It may be a good idea to make an appointment with a teacher to discuss your child’s behaviour and any problems that he/she may having at school. Working with the school is the best way to help your child.
Again, Parentline Plus have a very informative website - www.parentlineplus.org.uk - and helpline ( 0808 800 2222) for all parenting concerns.

FINALLY…
The most important thing to remember for parents, relatives and children alike is that help and advice is available for all. Talking about bullying in a supportive atmosphere is the best way to understand and hopefully prevent it affecting your child.