Michaela Manvill was married for 12 years to a man who verbally and physically abused her.

With four children to look after in the family home, she felt trapped and in a hopeless situation.

For a long time, she even blamed herself and thought it was all her own fault - before she finally decided to report the attacks.

Michaela has since remarried and lives in Exmouth, East Devon.

Here's her story:

"The abuse started off as emotional and verbal abuse, and the odd punch which I put down to his drinking.

"Then my husband went through a bad time and got depressed and he took it out on me. I thought it was okay because he had to lash out at somebody.

"Then, at Christmas 1998 I thought I'd go and see my GP. A lot of GPs don't understand. But mine told me: 'There's one way out of this - and that's to tell the police.'

"He said my husband would probably get five years in jail if I reported it to the police.

The message from Women's Aid

"So I thought - well that would be five years without any more abuse. After going to see my GP, I started an argument with my husband, but I wasn't prepared for what happened.

"Five or six hours of beating followed, but I reported it to the police and they came.

"Myself and the four children moved out that Christmas. We stayed with friends at first, and then stayed at a refuge for the New Year. What a way to see in the New Year!

"My father came and picked us from the refuge, and we stayed at my parents' house. We were very lucky, because a lot of women don't have that sort of family back-up.

"In 1999, my husband went to court and was given two years probation and ordered to pay £100 costs. He'd pleaded mental instability.

"I wrote to Tony Blair to tell him what I thought about the punishment and he passed it on to the Home Office.

"The problem these days isn't with the way police deal with domestic violence - they are much more proactive now.

"The problem is with the courts. They are too lenient.

Michaela's advice is to tell someone

"If I was to offer any advice to other women suffering domestic violence it would be: 'Seek help - don't keep it to yourself. Just tell someone.'

"The best thing to do is ring the Women's Aid helpline, or go and see your GP. And the main thing to remember and tell yourself is that it's not your fault."

*Domestic violence isn't just a women's issue. Men also suffer domestic abuse, and a helpline set up in Plymouth is getting calls from all over the country. Read about the work of the MALE Devon helpline.

There's now a co-ordinated domestic violence strategy in Devon - read about its work in our 'Tackling Domestic Violence' feature.

If you want to get in touch with any of Devon's Women's Aid Outreach groups, click onto the 'Useful Contact Numbers' link on the left of this page.

The contact numbers also include refuges, Victim Support, NSPCC helpline, Samaritans, a helpline for young women, and Social Services (out of hours).

We also link to the Devon and Cornwall Police website.

Article first published: January 2004