Profiles

Every movement is an experiment Push the feet to move my body up the bed. Decide not to lift bottom off bed again.

Have the oxygen mask on between slices of toast.

Eyes feel slightly out of focus and v.v. heavy. Tip of my nose is frozen.

What pain I have is a dragging feeling on what would be my bikini line if I had ever worn a bikini.

Surprised to find no pain between my legs my ideas of hysterectomy being like childbirth completely wrong.

Stockings still squeezing away under the sheets.

Morphine runs out and I am given paracetomol.

Can this be right, am drug addict, think about having temper tantrum and demanding more morphine.

Excercise regime

Physio arrives,checks my lung function and advises on exercises.

10 times feet back flip
10 times back of knees into mattress
10 times buttocks clench.

Am an athelete.

Morphine drip removed, saline drip removed, blow up cuffs removed from legs, so it wasn’t the stockings.

Joan at work on the BBC Bus

A bed bath, two staff help. Never has a damp flannel given so much pleasure. Am helped to change into own pj’s.

Am rapidly becoming human again, amazed at quick recovery. Only 18 hours since op.

Consultant appears, she examines my cut. Very clean and tidy she says. Little or no bleeding vaginally.

They will remove my catheter in the evening as the desire to pee on waking in the morning has been found to override the fear of any pain caused by passing urine.

Not sure how I feel about this news, It is clear however, that I cannot keep the catheter in for ever and lead a normal life. Am v.good patient.

Timely advice

Registrar pops in and examines me, he advises me to take pain relief as offered and not to overdo it only to have to pay for it tomorrow. Sounds like a good idea.

Cervix and ovaries have been left intact am in a state where I really don’t care that much.

There is a 30% chance that there may still be some menstrual bleed because of the cervix being left, hope I am lucky 70%.

He retells me that there is a chance of having an earlier menopause because of lack of blood flow from my non existent womb.

Is there any chance of my getting pregnant? (well I still have ovaries don’t I)

My charming Registrar gently explains that he would describe it as a miracle. Soon be Christmas, I thought.

Day Two Post Op

They were right about the catheter. Couldn’t wait till morning so am assisted to loo by nurse. Am surprised at ability to get out of bed and walk. Surprised I still can.

What bliss, peeing on loo. Only slightly painful, more bruised than anything else.

Hospitals are not really designed for sleeping in despite great number of beds. Luckily our ward is small and apart from regular obs for the patient who has just had her op we are undisturbed in the night.

Unlike the night before when we got a midnight admission because there was a spare bed on the ward.

Last nights guest was very chatty and we were entertained by her social planning which she conducted on the patient phone.

Think patient phones should be switched off in night. We should be like budgerigars. Cloths covering our cages.

Bowel capers

Now that bladder is working properly I can concentrate on other bodily functions beginning with B.

I have no intention of putting any effort into this particular function and a bowel buster is prescribed.

At the same time my digestion packs up altogether and every mouthful of food I take makes me want to throw up.

Hospital food is actually not bad and if I had an appetite there is much too much of it. Who on the outside has time to eat two three course meals a day?

I can get up and have a shower, I am very wobbly and feel like an old lady. I am told I can take off my dressing. I am frightened it hasn’t worked and all my guts will spill out on the floor. Something in the shower stinks, I think it is me.

Wound is incredibly tiny and very well sealed. I have no idea how they have done it, there are no stitches to remove.

My fellow inmates, two of whom are old lags, begin to show me the ropes of hospital life. We have an open window rota.

It is incredibly stuffy and I am developing a migraine type headache, this in combination with dried up nasal passages and an inability to be comfortable in any position is beginning to be wearing.

Homesick blues

I want to go home.

I have a visitor in the evening, he is a life saver. I had just reached the worst stage of post operation blues. An hours chat and I feel like a new woman. Thanks Bro.

In the interest of my blog aims; I am also getting drugs to prevent clots forming and for inflammation.

My blood results showed a v. low iron count, I decide to opt for the slow iron supplement recovery over the instant blood transfusion.

I am told that whilst blood is screened, there may be a small chance of unknown and as yet undiscovered diseases being transmitted.

I now know that my heavy menstrual bleed, which I was having immediately prior to admission, has been redesignated haemorrhage.

To my mind this explains the rather upsetting breathlessness and pain when I was coming round in recovery.

It also explains the Consultants remarks re the amount of menstrual blood she saw during the operation.

In a rather odd way I feel that I have been justified in my request for a hysterectomy.