Pharaoh's Paradise Song | Horrible Histories

Crack open the Book of the Dead and take your seasickness tablets before the ferryman's journey, it's time to sing along to the Pharaoh's Paradise song! 🎵

🎤 Check out the best Horrible Histories songs and sing along to your favourites.

Ramesses II:

If you have anyone to fear, it isn't the boogie man, or even that homework you said you'd do but left too late...it's Ramesses II! Is he the most powerful warrior in all history? Well, maybe, but he was for sure one of Egypt's most successful warriors. Count them - 15 military campaigns (mostly...whoops!) resulting in victories! If there was an Olympic sport for war he would surely win the gold.

Hatshepsut:

Want to know who invented being a girlboss? It was Hatshepsut! All the men told her she would never rule, so what did she do? She donned traditionally male clothes and pretty much outdid every other man in traditionally male roles! Not to be out beat, she also oversaw some of the largest construction projects in Egyptian history: including the Karnak Temple Complex, Red Chapel and the superstore that sells hundreds of chocolate bars ... Wait, maybe not that last one (is anyone else hungry?). She cemented (sorry, building pun!) herself into Egyptian history with those builds.

Tutankhamun:

King Tut's spiritual ontology helped to restore Ancient Egyptian religion to a traditional polytheistic form ... not catching our drift? Well, this meant he brought people back to worshipping lots of old gods! He did this all before the age of 18 (wow!), but then he unexpected died (less wow!). We're still not sure how he died, but some experts suggest it could have been a wombo-combo of malaria and a leg fracture! A mosquito with a skateboard would be his worst nightmare!

Obsessed with Ancient Egypt? Well, we have you covered:

We all know we're headed to the Valley of Death.

We want eternal life after our last breath.

Cause I've been a Pharaoh, got a nemes on my head.

But when we die we need help from the Book of the Dead.

It's a magic scroll of hymns to the sun god, Ra,

to help us through the afterlife

there’s many things we must say.

Like I've never uttered lies,

never been an eavesdropper.

I have never raised my voice,

lived my life so proper.

Every text is different, written for each soul.

But you know in the end we only got one goal.

These rules will remind us once we cease to be.

And help us live in peace for all eternity.

Been waiting all our lives

to get into Pharaoh's paradise.

These words will be our guide to living in our Pharaoh’s paradise.

Spells are written on tomb walls, inside our mummy

wrappings, even in gold masks and other Pharaoh trappings.

Because getting into paradise, you know it ain't easy.

Your heart is weighed against a feather, hope it ain’t breezy.

Then we all board a ferry across the lily lake,

to the field of reeds, the ferryman will take us.

Then we’ll meet out friends and old beloved pets,

in the field of reeds we will have eternal rest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Death ain't nothing but a new form of living.

So get we’ve got the Book of the Dead and the advice it’s giving.

I’m 18 now, but will I ever see 20, though?

You better hurry with my book. Don’t be slow.

Been waiting all our lives to get into Pharaoh’s paradise.

These words will be our guides to living

in a Pharaoh's paradise.

Been spending most of our lives avoiding dangerous crocodiles.

Preparing all our lives for living in a Pharaoh's paradise.

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