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Bring a packed lunch

Simon Mayo

Presenter

The fast lane to rural Essex is a glamorous one indeed. I am typing slowly as I don't want to miss the view. But it's a show day of course- already I'm excited by the thought of a top show tonight- so I can always catch up on the sights on the way back in.

I realise I'm worried about Nigel. Last week's pie was clearly a blip. He seems determined to make me (and all normal folk obviously) question his sanity. I don't mind a challenge. I like muffins. I like bacon. In moderation, I'll even take beetroot. But what right minded person is going to put them altogether? I mean really Nige. What happened to blueberries or chocolate or banana or ANYTHING THAT ISNT BACON AND BEETROOT. Oh well. There's always the faint possibility of a surprise. But I'm not holding my breath...

Elsewhere...

As that 'stinking hovel' review and the couple who got charged for leaving it continues to make news, we'll go for HOTELS AND B&BS songs please. A chocolate on your pillow sir? No thanks.
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