Clockwatching
British Summertime has officially begun! I say "officially", because the clocks in the U.K. have been moved forward resulting in all of us losing an hour. Now I always tend to think that there's something slightly strange about this arbitrary interference with our seconds, minutes and hours in the name of Daylight Saving. It's almost as if man is messing with the natural cosmic order of things (again!). Have we learned nothing from the valuable lessons taught by Doc Brown's "Flux-Capacitator" and Marty McFly's fading polaroid picture about the dangers of messing with the fabric the space and time?....and what is it all risked for?.... a paltry extra hour of light. So I spent the next day adjusting every time display that I could find (watch, mobile, clock, car) and I lamented over the hour that was lost. It was a good hour, a decent hour and a brave hour. One who was cruelly cut short in its prime and was deeply loved by it's 23 other friends and family (R.I.P. lil' soldier....you were sorely missed).
Speaking of losses, Russell STILL hasn't found his credit cards yet and he's been too busy with things to sort it all out. He's tried to remember where he last had them but to no avail. Now with most of people, after a while with the act of retracing your steps, you can usually narrow it down to about 3 or 4 places:
"Did you leave them at work?"
"...er...no",
"At home?"
"...um....nope",
"Have you tried the car?"
"...hmmm...no joy",
"What about monkey world?"
"....aha!"
(see?)
But what with Russell touring up and down the U.K.constantly, God only knows where his cards could be and God only knows who's got them now! So what exactly has been pre-occupying Mr Brand to the extent of which that his personal effects could have gone amiss without notice? It's no secret but Russell has indeed caught the acting-bug, and is currently focused on getting into character and learning all the dialogue. The new fitness regime, the personal trainers and the strict diet are all being followed to the letter, daily exercise and no carbs after 3pm (and his trainers are watching the clock!). He's currently been filming on the set of the new St Trinians movie and has been gleefully recounting tales to me & Matt, reminicing over his past playground antics. Everytime he has to shoot the scenes with all those young women running around in their school uniforms, he goes down memory lane. Nice work if you can get it, I guess that maybe turning back the clock isn't so bad after all!
In this week's show I learned that: in Hawaiian Russell's name is "Lukela" and Matt's is "Ma-Kai-yo" (excuse the spellings)
I had the idea of two turntables on my mind so I came up with this poem:
The Way of the D.J.
If God is a D.J. then let the records play,
Let Life's selection consist of an eclectic mix and cross-fade,
From Turntable 1 we display, a Mr Matt Morgan,
Head of the "Crocodile Club" but doesn't trust auctions,
And with a caution, we switch to Turntable 2
Where Russell flips the "Flux Capacitator" all the way to "Button Moon"
Backstage fans loom, goldfish are saved from their tombs,
But who the hell shouted "Gett Off" over my favourite tune!?!
Then hired a room in the hope that his Butler would swoon,
Groomed a Spy in Shanghai, then sent him off to his doom,
Matt's "vibro-sock" alarm clock doesn't quite sound too smooth,
I guess that he's just trying to find a needle that'll fit into your groove!
Awesome!
Rusty-baby .... see you in the Metropolis known as Ipswich on Saturday night.
Can't wait hun!
x x
i have to say Gee, i was a bit upset matt would no longer be doing the blog but u are fabulous.
I think that Russell should start by quizzing those St Trinian girls about where his wallet is. Always look close to where you last slept!
lol at him shouting get off! you & matt should yell all over his morrissey songs to get even!
gee you man. enjoyable.
mr gee, im lovin' your work! xx
Rusty ... can you bring Noel to Ipswich on Saturday night? (Fielding, not tidy-beard!!)
CtD x x
i love the summer time me, mr.gee.
and if we have to sacrifice that one single hour, then so be it, but lets not let 'im die in vain for christ sake. personally i'm gonna have the best bloody summer this world has ever seen when the ol' GCSE's are outta the way
and russ' wallet is probably in his hair. just go fishing around in there mr.gee and claim the award that he will undoubtedly offer, possibly a cuddle
have a good one mr.gee
Gee, You Sir definately have a way with words.
Nice one mate.
Daylight saving time actually dates back to WW2, when the government decided that it'd be better to have more time in the light of day instead of the dark when they weren't able to have streetlights on because of the bombers...or something like that. Anyone curious about it can always look it up online
You look Wuvely in that vidio. I dont av earfones at this PC so cant ear your lovely rendition of shakespeare or snoop dogg.ee dawg. Bleedn ard LIP READIN. Near moind will keep it for nuvva day.
The show on Satdiy was ......BRILLIANT !!!
You cover so much ground in two hours its a wonder the world is not put completely to rights.
We lost a loved 1 recently, sad and lots of personal tradgidy.
But . You know what? In the sunshoin and good spring fun there just cant be too much room to be mournin fer eva.
We ve decided to make an alteration on the facts.
One can neva really be sure to know all the facts.
So we,ve decided that,our lved one staged his death,coz e was sick of is loif and as taken on a knew identity. As an ondercover assassin or somethin really exciting that you need a complete new ID for. Now we know e is walkin about all smug an stelthy like. So watch out people might not b oo u expect them to b.
What a load of cobblers! The heats gettin to me!
Ahh,Russ.....you in the doggy hat! Thanks for doin that.
I ad pictured it in me mind.
So, I wonder what the next big storm will b.
Big Brothers Race relations prob.
Liams thumbs
Banantine declarin all entrepreneurs are out of is legue.
What a bloody liberty.
WHO WHAT,well I dunno!
BE funny to see how he reacts to Ruscles wiccle messages.
YOULL never work in this town again!
Stop wastin my time.....................
Nah
He,ll say, "Russell I am verry impressed with your whole package and wud like to invest fifty quid int yer ice cream van venture, hen!
Russ will reply, I,m orf to OLLYWOOD Banantine and the ice cream industry just isnt for me- its to high carbs!
The offer was there though.
Mat, has Russ sidelined you to a guest rum now when u visit at daily constitutional times,dear?
Dont blame im,I hate people cumin round my place and leavin their vibes.
Bet uv got lovely vibes though Mat.
Theres such a feelin of bein exposed and out of control when people are at ur gaf.
U feel judged as if theys cum in ur inner sanctum and said mmmm not good enough.
Thats the drawback. I wish I cud av loadsa people round all the time an get in the rythmm of it, but just cant seem to be bothered.
Then sit there an think."nobody eve calls me!"
I go on such a hacked orf stropp when theyv bin round, probably coz I didnt marvel them with whit and extrordinary presence.
Right , thats it ....we all need to book in fer a good session wid a head doc!
Nah.....I,ll js pretend to be a confident, coping, together person. The power of possetive thinkin.
This weathers a tonic.
Uve got sum lovely parks in Londinium.
I like Regents pk.
If u wear the Mexican wresllers at ule be taken as a normal londener out for a stoll.
Oi Russ Why dont u av a go at horse riding. I fink ud like that.Then u can do it in america to get away.
Got to go
lorve you
You look Wuvely in that vidio. I dont av earfones at this PC so cant ear your lovely rendition of shakespeare or snoop dogg.ee dawg. Bleedn ard LIP READIN. Near moind will keep it for nuvva day.
The show on Satdiy was ......BRILLIANT !!!
You cover so much ground in two hours its a wonder the world is not put completely to rights.
We lost a loved 1 recently, sad and lots of personal tradgidy.
But . You know what? In the sunshoin and good spring fun there just cant be too much room to be mournin fer eva.
We ve decided to make an alteration on the facts.
One can neva really be sure to know all the facts.
So we,ve decided that,our lved one staged his death,coz e was sick of is loif and as taken on a knew identity. As an ondercover assassin or somethin really exciting that you need a complete new ID for. Now we know e is walkin about all smug an stelthy like. So watch out people might not b oo u expect them to b.
What a load of cobblers! The heats gettin to me!
Ahh,Russ.....you in the doggy hat! Thanks for doin that.
I ad pictured it in me mind.
So, I wonder what the next big storm will b.
Big Brothers Race relations prob.
Liams thumbs
Banantine declarin all entrepreneurs are out of is legue.
What a bloody liberty.
WHO WHAT,well I dunno!
BE funny to see how he reacts to Ruscles wiccle messages.
YOULL never work in this town again!
Stop wastin my time.....................
Nah
He,ll say, "Russell I am verry impressed with your whole package and wud like to invest fifty quid int yer ice cream van venture, hen!
Russ will reply, I,m orf to OLLYWOOD Banantine and the ice cream industry just isnt for me- its to high carbs!
The offer was there though.
Mat, has Russ sidelined you to a guest rum now when u visit at daily constitutional times,dear?
Dont blame im,I hate people cumin round my place and leavin their vibes.
Bet uv got lovely vibes though Mat.
Theres such a feelin of bein exposed and out of control when people are at ur gaf.
U feel judged as if theys cum in ur inner sanctum and said mmmm not good enough.
Thats the drawback. I wish I cud av loadsa people round all the time an get in the rythmm of it, but just cant seem to be bothered.
Then sit there an think."nobody eve calls me!"
I go on such a hacked orf stropp when theyv bin round, probably coz I didnt marvel them with whit and extrordinary presence.
Right , thats it ....we all need to book in fer a good session wid a head doc!
Nah.....I,ll js pretend to be a confident, coping, together person. The power of possetive thinkin.
This weathers a tonic.
Uve got sum lovely parks in Londinium.
I like Regents pk.
If u wear the Mexican wresllers at ule be taken as a normal londener out for a stoll.
Oi Russ Why dont u av a go at horse riding. I fink ud like that.Then u can do it in america to get away.
Got to go
lorve you