Randy Rusty Brandstein
So Russell has gone to Hollywood has he? I thought he was just going there for a holiday and a snoop about, but now I look at the evidence I fear he is going to try and assimilate into their culture and become a star over there.
I notice in recent months he has changed from saying ‘ball-bags’ to ‘dick-sacks’. Is this a misguided attempt at americanising his vernacular? I fear so. It somewhat reminds me of Wurzel Gummidge putting on an American head and tottering off to make his mark Stateside but getting all the words a bit wrong and saying things like ‘hot-doggies’ and ‘have a nice daisy’.
The gym-ball thing is starting to make sense now too. He has been working towards attaining some sort of movie-hero physique. The poor man, I could weep for him. God knows what he’s dressed himself up as; they won’t go for his ‘normal’ Child-Catcher chic over in L.A. I can only imagine he’s wearing ‘Stars and Stripes’ leggings, a gold ‘Dynasty’-style power jacket with padded shoulders and all his hair hidden beneath an over-sized baseball cap with a drink-cup and a straw on it… also I’m seeing a cigar.
Well I wish him luck over there, old Worzel Brand; although he’ll probably be calling himself ‘Randy Rusty Brandstein’ or something by now. Will we ever see him again?
oh i do hope the yanks don't steal russ from us, that man's a national treaure. we can't afford to lose him just like we lost tom jones.
good ol' tom, always good for a love song.
Hello Matt (I like your hat),
I listened to the podcast of last Saturday's show today, and now I am thinking all of my thoughts in Russell's voice. This is totally involuntary. I hope it's gone by tomorrow.
As an American Russell Brand fan I'd love to see him over here trying to make it. Us Americans could use someone like him (talented) over here. I'd happily welcome him over!
Noooooooooooo!
Tell Russell not to go. Come on Brand Fans, lets form a mass protest. We could storm the BBC radio 2 studios and tie Russell to his chair. (I am joking. Plz don't call the police).
PS, I think your show is the best one on radio. RMT (Russell, Matt and Trevor all rolled into one) are the most talented&entertaining radioists i've heard for along time.
We all need help. But I want you to put us needy folk first in front of the bleedin nations pets. My friend Kara is in need of some support. Shes 31 gorgeous and works really hard supporting people with mental health issues. The only men that ever want some real commitment from her are married. The rest are layabouts. Now what I want for Kara is to find a nice young man that will look after her.The managment at her work give her no support and its a really stressful job. My dad has offere4d to take her out but I tried to subtely explain that she would do better with someone young and fresh. He,s sixty and a randy old alley cat. I also want Russel to cheer me up on his shows and give us single mums out there a bit of hope. Its not easy bieng house bound for eighteen years! Kara and I have said we would like to marry Russel as we hope he wont mind being a pollygamist. I can be like an older comfortin wife as Im forty two and Kara can be the more racey wife. See what he thinks. Anyway I cant wait for Saturdays show. You guys really cheer me up. Love yopu all loads. Youre very special.
If Russell Brand goes over to the States they should be warned,. . . 'lock up your daughters'! Well good luck to him, although t'will be sad to say goodbye. With Russell in decline, Matt maybe you could step up, and evolve into the newly vacanted position. I do tend to think that your voice and look is definately sexier than Brand, and also appealing to the early 20's,. . .
How many days till Paris and Russell are sharing the headlines together,. . . . . . . . . . . .
I actually felt sick when I read this! Russell can't leave us! Who will we look to for leadership and inspiration!?
If it looks like we're going to lose him I say we form some sort of rescue committee and go to get him back. We can drop Madonna off while we're there (just kidding Madge).
I'm not surprised at all that Russell's 'Gone to Hollywood' - As you said, the clues were there: Straightening the teeth, subtly Americanising the vocabulary, getting a personal trainer...
I think going to Hollywood is the next logical step in Russell's 'selling out' process, and who can blame him? He's got the potential to be one of the few Brits who's actually successful in Hollywood, in my opinion. (But whether he will be or not is another matter, of course!)
I do think however, that he's spreading himself rather too thin. I know he has the boundless energy and burning ambition that only a former drug addict can posess, but I think he needs to decide where his loyalties lie. One cannot have one's cake and eat it, after all!
if he effs off to america you have to keep doing the show then maffoo!! ( i know your not supposed to have favourites but your mine )
love paula xx
I cant believe you put my comment up. Woo Hoo! Will call Kara tonight before the Saturday Radio show, telling my little friend Kara to tune in. Theres a chance she will be out, Friday ni9ght an all that. But with her demanding job,she,ll probably be knackered and stay in. Me an my son are at a posh private gym,they,ve got an open weekend so we thaught we wuold blag our way in. No probs. An we,re in this la di da lounge with all sofas an men drinkin glasses of white wine.We clocked the internet stations and were well away. Nice one. I must tell you it got a bit hairy in the ladies changin room. In the entrace it said "No boys over 8 years",well, I,m not sendin im in the mens with,nudy blokes bendin over. Cant say it was much better in the ladies. There was a lot of eye averting! Laddy as got really long hair,so we just about got away with it.We had to bow our heads and scarper from the sauna as a woman swaggered in in er altogether. I tald littlen to wear his towel like a lady, wrapped under his arms. In the pool there was a sickeningly uniformed swimming up an down. To much for a ten year old to handle so he did some stealthy bombing till I told im off. Well,there we go.So Ill hear you,s all tonight. Cant wait for the live britts. Obviously to see Darling Russel give a wonderful comparing performance in his abandoned innocence.Then he,s on a show at ten giving us his thespian attributes so studiously learned at drama school. I will send my next little comment next Thursday from the internet at the library, when littlun is attending homework club there,but using the facilities to download cheats for games and vital information concerning his Lego empire.Au revoir,my sweet boys. God bless.
I cant believe you put my comment up. Woo Hoo! Will call Kara tonight before the Saturday Radio show, telling my little friend Kara to tune in. Theres a chance she will be out, Friday ni9ght an all that. But with her demanding job,she,ll probably be knackered and stay in. Me an my son are at a posh private gym,they,ve got an open weekend so we thaught we wuold blag our way in. No probs. An we,re in this la di da lounge with all sofas an men drinkin glasses of white wine.We clocked the internet stations and were well away. Nice one. I must tell you it got a bit hairy in the ladies changin room. In the entrace it said "No boys over 8 years",well, I,m not sendin im in the mens with,nudy blokes bendin over. Cant say it was much better in the ladies. There was a lot of eye averting! Laddy as got really long hair,so we just about got away with it.We had to bow our heads and scarper from the sauna as a woman swaggered in in er altogether. I tald littlen to wear his towel like a lady, wrapped under his arms. In the pool there was a sickeningly uniformed swimming up an down. To much for a ten year old to handle so he did some stealthy bombing till I told im off. Well,there we go.So Ill hear you,s all tonight. Cant wait for the live britts. Obviously to see Darling Russel give a wonderful comparing performance in his abandoned innocence.Then he,s on a show at ten giving us his thespian attributes so studiously learned at drama school. I will send my next little comment next Thursday from the internet at the library, when littlun is attending homework club there,but using the facilities to download cheats for games and vital information concerning his Lego empire.Au revoir,my sweet boys. God bless.
I cant believe you put my comment up. Woo Hoo! Will call Kara tonight before the Saturday Radio show, telling my little friend Kara to tune in. Theres a chance she will be out, Friday ni9ght an all that. But with her demanding job,she,ll probably be knackered and stay in. Me an my son are at a posh private gym,they,ve got an open weekend so we thaught we wuold blag our way in. No probs. An we,re in this la di da lounge with all sofas an men drinkin glasses of white wine.We clocked the internet stations and were well away. Nice one. I must tell you it got a bit hairy in the ladies changin room. In the entrace it said "No boys over 8 years",well, I,m not sendin im in the mens with,nudy blokes bendin over. Cant say it was much better in the ladies. There was a lot of eye averting! Laddy as got really long hair,so we just about got away with it.We had to bow our heads and scarper from the sauna as a woman swaggered in in er altogether. I tald littlen to wear his towel like a lady, wrapped under his arms. In the pool there was a sickeningly uniformed swimming up an down. To much for a ten year old to handle so he did some stealthy bombing till I told im off.When we stood next to this lady,I said "good girl".Coz its free tommorrow and I dont want anyone blowing the whissle at reception,jeapordising our chances to wing it at this luxery gaff. Well,there we go.So Ill hear you,s all tonight. Cant wait for the live britts. Obviously to see Darling Russel give a wonderful comparing performance in his abandoned innocence.Then he,s on a show at ten giving us his thespian attributes so studiously learned at drama school. I will send my next little comment next Thursday from the internet at the library, when littlun is attending homework club there,but using the facilities to download cheats for games and vital information concerning his Lego empire.Au revoir,my sweet boys. God bless.
If russell went off to america i would cry :'( Blimey we cant let this happen! Matt if he even thinks about moving, make sure you threaten to burst his gym ball! btw..the radio show is amazing! Russell, Matt n Trev ... you ROCK!
victoria (comment 4) - i think your idea of storming the bbc radio 2 studios and tying Sexy Russell to his chair is a delicious idea !!
Here we are back in the swanky gym. I do begin to wonder about these places.Not that I,m not grateful that we,ve had a complimentary few sessions this weekend,makin full use of the poo. But I couldnt help but notice the sculky behaviour in the changin rooms.Some of the women look like they,ve moved in and are living in a quiet commune.Nobody speaks and there is a lowlynessand serenity to wafely womenprowling around starkers as if it were a higher calling.They seem to be almost crusing. Litlun spent an alarming time in the icecold plungpool,thinkin it was is personal little swimming pool,he just didnt get cold. It may be the affect of shock of entering this twilight world of"The womens changing room".I had to fine him 50p for doing a back flip in the main pool. Its cruel to be kind. We tried to be oblivious to the two men sharing the jacussi, chattering about their favourite eighties records and intermittently flickin water in on anothers faces. Herbert was busy tryin to stop thebubbles, a thankless task, but one can champion all sorts of persuits in this environment where time seems to stand still. On the way ere, I was devastated. Havin searched the cupboard for clothes that would be suitable to enter a room with fitness machines,with the aim to look sort of sporty. I still felt like a right bleedin plonker. But the thing is,on the way throught a sort of woody area,we both walked in dog shit! What do you do? Well we were committed, cos we had gone to the trouble of puttin on the gear. However weak. To be honest I found a pair of trousers that had go faster stripes on that I use as pyjamas. Littlun wore the same trousers he had on yesterday and slept in and have a big hole in the knee. Before you think Im an unfit mother I do usually get im to change for bed. We wiped most of the doggy stuff on to the grass. But the grass was fairly newly sewn so quiet muddy,so I suggested we tried a front garden across the road that looked better fof the job. Youdve guessed it! While we were immersed in rubbin the sides of our shoes,three people with shoppin bags came into the drive. I think they lived there. At that point we walked off. So there we are.After calling Kara last night to tell her the good news about you puttin the comment on the blog.-I was right she had gone out,to the gay bar.How is she eva gonna meet anyone there.- Russ youll av to av a word.I see youve put last nights message up. THREE or four times. thats not bad since I sent it about fifteen times. It didnt seem to go through so I just kept tryin. Karas delighted and will be able to find it easily in the web page as it appears reccurantly. Pete me dad is goin to av a look and download the podcast an av a listen to your show. WHAT a show, oh I was howling and shreikin with laughter. Got very jelous of Maisy. I grew up with me Mum preferin ER bloody dogs to humans. But we will wait faithfully in line. As we know that the good lay at your door. I hope Russ does actually get a gander at thes little entries.It woul give me Kara the boost she needs. I know E loves us really. And Im goina feel special even if Im just one of the thuosands of addouring fans. Im not goinna go back to Jonothan. Will stay where the sweet stuff is. Hafta watch the Baftas tonight though. Byeee byee Wuv oo xxxxxxxx
I agree with Victoria - I'd be delighted to help tie Russell to a sturdy British chair. Could we do this live on the show? xxx
Ello appy me.
Steve Write in the afternoon, raved about our Russell at the Britts. What a success! He went forth and conquered. Well done. High praise from the master of day time, high energy radio! In the haze of midday radio , Jeremy Vine slowly starts to make my blood boil. At some points I am at the point of stoning the radio,changing channels saves the day before I am slitting my throat, then Steve just saves the day, bounding in. I can breath out a sigh of relief. I dont need to be worked up, its my time,an I,m not avin it. The big show is a tonic. An if Russells alright with Steve an Crew, he,s home, finally getting the green flag,accepted by the radio community. Jonny Ross says he,s got "come to bed eyes", But our Russells got what you,d call a good "bedside manner" That embelishing of the English language and laughter is so infectious.Sometimes when you get a glimpse of that vulnerability, you just want to.....well, admire him...pwoar. Sorry I,m being a bit of a perve. Kara was so pleased,to come near to the notice of Russ. As am I. Rather like when you coerse the news people to say a word,or when Morrissy said"Im Russel Brand". Kara found a basket of flowers outside the door yestarday. She phoned her Mum to see if she,d sent them. No, so she called me to see if Litlun had sent them,No. So we tried to deduce who the romantic valentine was. I suggested it might be her Gay mate.....mmmmmm possible. There was that slimeball from head office,married,how very dare he,swine. Or the bloke thats a two timing bar propper upper at the local,Kara suggested that he was only likely to leave an empty beer can. Later she conceeded that it mightve bin him, as the pikey old bird who he went out with who he probably dug up,dumped him,so he was trying to keep Kara sweet. I,m so lookin forward to the show Saturday night. I cudnt help but notice the two DOGS on the front page of the site,mmmmmmmm Maisy! Here at the library a little girl held up the picture book of maisy. And I had to enthuse because her elder sister is called Maisy. But what was really going on in my mind was. Huh. Maisy. Spurned,for a dog. I didnt think it could get much worse. Life is mighty cruel at times. The trailer for Saturdays show is an exert from the Wooing of Maisy moment. I dont care I will hold my head up high whatever happens. Because life is for the living. Right Im gonner Bog off. There s two girls behind me and one is moaning under her breath "please get off so I can go on there. Ill give you a hundred pounds. I will leave in a dignified manner. Good bye my darlings.
Well Ive got 29 minutes to rite this,as the library net time is 1 hour. Just trawlled through the latest blogs. I love all this interactivity its so compelling. Feel like a seasoned blogger now. I,m quite surprised I didnt equip myself with a smokin jacket cravat and cigarette in a holder. Bieng new to ciber conferring, I gave meself a bit of a turn last week. Had a face rather like father teds side kick,cant think of is name right now, of shock. When hes just done something really silly. Never havin blogged before. Firstly I was appalled atmeself for bieng so savage about Jeremy Vine! In ciber space,e cud av read it! Or someone cud av tald him BLOODY HELL! I say shakin my head here, its ok, no ones watchin. Although you do look over your shoulder sometimes here cos sound travels strangely here and you can feel sure someone is pretending to read a book,but is really lookin over yer shoulder. Any way . I called Kare and she could tell I was freaked out. I wouldnt get out of bed and was overly stimulated. All the radio programmes polled into one as I looked for coded messages of critisism about internet bullyin. Steve right soundeed dissapointed. Paul Gamberchini said "bridget the midget. And Jony Ross started assasinatin Russells trousers. As if his todler pants wernet enough! What had I done! The trailer for the show seemed to be played less frequently. Of course retrospectively I realise it was all ridiculous noncense. Oh, you know Trevors ignored comment about mens laterines. Well I would have liked to av heared about what he finds Intrinsically wrong as a concept about them. Im sure Id have agreed wholeheartedly with him. Where on earth did they come from. Europe probably, they dont seem at all British. Those motorbikes sound great Mat. Ther is allways one who will take home a good booty from a day of salvaging at Branscome beach.Im sure your hair looks lovely Mat. I love cutting peoples hair. Have been known to end ur wit a sliced lookin ear thats bleeding. Never a good thing. I wish I cud afford th e airdressers. Love all the ambiance. But have to settle meself with lopsided locks as I av a go myself,Nobody as actually laughed out loud ,....Yet. Right me time s up. love you.. Lookin forward to the laugh on the show . xxxxxx
Hello all thsi is my first time bloggin and av 30 secs to do it so hye and bye
love Rianna
x :)