The pressure of being like R2
Hello listeners, Matt here, hope you enjoyed our first show on R2. It’s nice to say R2 as its R2-D2’s first name, used only by his closest friends such as Luke and C3P0. The D2’s were all very proud of R2, at first they thought he may bring shame to the D2 lineage but in the end they all thought R2 was a terrific guy. In fact a lot of the young D2 kids felt a bit in his shadow and the pressure to ‘be like uncle R2’ was mostly to blame for K1-D2 getting into drugs and kicking over a bin. So anyway, its nice to be on R2.
I am writing this because Russell is a man out of time; he proudly crosses roads confident that the motorcar will not be invented for another fifty years. Thus the idea of him writing a blog is like Samuel Pepys in a disco. This is a man who writes his Guardian columns by recording his voice on wax cyclinders which are then painstakingly transcribed by his PA. She has to use a quill because Russell is mistrustful of modern pens, believing rollerball technology to be the work of ‘some deville’. But I will try to get him to contribute when he can.
So anyway, next show we’ll be talking about conspiracy theories. We’d like to focus more on the small conspiracies that plague your life such as ‘someone keeps moving my bins’ and ‘are pavements getting smaller?’ more than Area 51 and The New World Order as we are planning to start a cult and we don’t want to draw the attention of the powers that be yet. So anyway, let us know what’s troubling you... bye.
The other morning I woke up and could've sworn someone had painted one of my kitchen cupboards a different colour. It was white and all the others are blue. Surely I would've noticed this earlier. I had to phone my Mum to check it had always been white and she said it had, but I'm still not so sure...
I also noticed that the pavements were getting smaller. Now I'm scared :(
I think that speed cameras are planning an uprising..........they are multiplying at an alarming rate!!
ooooh there are not many on here are there?
Why does Russel think his hair is trendy, as a qualified Hairdresser I say it is very dated in appearance.
Not impressed with the show either.
Dare you to publish this!
KC
well as im not allowed to bring up (even on the internet) due to legal reasons the conspiracey i would like to choose, and as hes always watching i wouldnt like to chance it. I would like to draw ppls attention to the fall in good quality character based grafity on public toilete doors, now its all dogging based phone numbers. I think the government is involved the kinky so and so's
Loved the show...can't wait till next week...and also until you boys settle in and get back to your usual selves!
Nice you are writing Russ's blog...he gets the Guardian..at least you get the R2 website!!!
Hmmm, conspiracy...well i will pomder that subject and look around and will email what i have noticed!!!
Look forward to your next blog
victoria
xx
Boo Hoo! - I can't get the pod cast to download.
Matt, I've ofen thought you look more like a 'Dave'.
Trevor looks more like a 'James'
And Russell looks more like a 'Gavin'
BOIY!!
I WANT MY PODACST!!!
I have a growing conspiracy theory that Trevor Lock is not the mild mannered boyishly charming person he appears to be and that this new "Trev Says to Says Hello" Social Experiment is actually his attempt to build himself an army he can use to take over the world.
I think its a conspiracy that the podcast fails to work. Someone somewhere at the BBC needs to be sacked for bungling incompetence.
Speaking of conspiracy theories...I think Russ should go big time and try an influence the news again. But this time it should be the bbc's tv news...go on then!
The other day I was looking for my notes and suddendly realised they actually weren't on the shelf (where I had left them). The blessed sheets reappeared this morning, leaving me baffled and mildly scared. It'd already happened quite a few times with different items (make-up, clothes, books), so I've started to believe that my flat hides my stuff just to make fun of my poor self.
Or is it only untidiness?
Hmmmmm…… I have to raise the question as to whether this R2 move ever really happened and it isn’t instead a mere veil to keep the masses amused while you continue your quest for world domination and recruit for the cult.
Let’s examine the facts:-
Russell claims to be broadcasting to the nation on Saturday night when in fact he is also billed to be gigging elsewhere. Is it really possible for a man, even with his talents, to be in two places at the same time?
Matt Morgan – or DJ Matt Morgan as he prefers to be known. Owner of a Myspace page where he sells himself as a fan of hardcore raw music such as The Ramones, The Velvet Underground, The Clash etc, yet would have us believe at the blink of an eye he’s transformed himself into some modern day Smashy and Nicey type character and is happily tapping his feet to such horrors as ‘you Can Call Me Al’ and ‘Uptown Girl’?
Is it truly feasible that a dishevelled man such as Trevor Lock would ever be allowed entry into the R2 studios, even if he has left the incomprehensible Sonic Enigma behind?
And where is the webcam Russ? You insist you are keen to retain your core female fan base yet deny us the fodder with which to drool, all the while savagely torturing us with football anthems?
I am of course looking forward to next weeks show, as Mr Brand rented a space in my head a long time back and has since refused to leave.
xxxx
I can't get podcast with download either!!!!
BOOHOOHOO I SAY
I had trouble getting the podcast too, but it is possible - you have to do it manually. To do this, in itunes access your 'settings' dialogue box (in the bottom right hand of the screen). Change 'Check for new episodes' to manual. This will take you to the appropriate page in itunes where you will be able to subscribe. Soz, can't help non-itunes users.
Great to have you back boys!
Jane x
This blog entry is proper funny... why don't you write a blog or something? Or just take this one over!
Every time I try to predict something, whatever it is sems to turn out in some way that I hadn't thought of, and I've always thought of that as some kind of conspiracy of the powers of fate and that kind of thing, all trying to make me look daft.
I knew it was too good to be true. Russell is a busy bee, and we should be thankful he takes the time to vocally commit his thoughts to the Guardian. I suppose we should be even more thankful considering Russell's aversion to technology, and his "the-robots-will-turn-against-us-like-in-the-Terminator-films" conspiracy theory.
Speaking of bees, as I was, I used to believe that buzzy insects such as bees and wasps were tagged with microchips designed to be permanently implanted into a human during the stinging process, Big Brother-stylie! Thus, bees were evil because they worked as government agents, performing 'sting operations'. Those guys in white suits that hang around beehives? They're the government informing all the bees of the names and addresses of all the people they need to keep tabs on!
What an ellaborate brain hiccup I had! Bees are OK, I guess.
...or are they?
Lovin' the new R2 show, fellas. Looking forward to the new Channel4 slot, too.
~ Lisa (of Leicester) x
What happened Lads ? The R2 show was just a sham, hurry up and get back to 6 Music at least you could be yourselves. WE love you Russ, Oh yes we do, WE love you Russ, but just not on Radio 2
OK heres how to download the podcast.
Instead of clicking on download on Russ's page, click on +podcast
This will take you to a page about how to subscribe to it
Scroll down and right click and save the podcast link at the bottom.
My work here is done.
Tom
I have had this theory that nobody will take seriously for quite awhile now... hopefully you will listen. I believe the Americans are secretly erradicating the letter U. Not sure if they want to replace it with some ultra-modern letter they have locked in a vault, but I believe they are up to something. Look at the stupid way they spell colour (color) and labour (labor), and well some other words as well.... what is next mbrella? nicycles? nicorns? When is it gonna end... Help me Russell, stop this madness, I love U!
There is definitely a conspiracy to make Curly Wurlys smaller whilst at the same time increasing the price.
Also a conspiracy by public tranport operators to prevent me from meeting ole Russ by always making sure the last bus or train is timed so that I have to leave immediately after a gig to make sure I don't miss it.
and finally the myspace conspiracy of eating your most important message in transit (very similar to the Cooper conspiracy)
Russell you were sublime on Monday night but I wish I hadn't resisted the temptation to pinch your bum - it looked good!
xxx
Hello guys, hows R2?
I saw Russ&Trev on thursday at the Bham Alexandra you wer both great! Russ I wore my Skinny scarf and Skinny jeans in homage and i was near the front!
anyway conspiracies, well....my neighbours, no one ever sees them, and im not sure if anybody actually lives there, but they have given the house a lived in apperance, (i.e they have decorated and personalised it and stuff, but bare in mind no one lives there) and theres always a different brand new car parked outside every few days.
my conspiracy theory is, whoever owns that place is prob involved in something dodgy with those news cars and is using the house as a base to park them until the next deal comes through.
https://downloads.bbc.co.uk/rmhttp/downloadtrial/6music/russellbrand/rss.xml
go here - the podcast works!
Rob in swindon you are a star got the podcast at last fankoo x
i think everyone, at some point, has shared this conspiracy; i think my life is, without any doubt, a truman show-type conspiracy. but then again you already knew that, you're all actors!
greg
Matt..
i think R2 is D2's surname, like wot the Japanese do wiv their names, in reverse like... the other similar droids in starwars (obviously ignoring the more recent trilogical-travesty) are refered to as R2 units. sorry about the inane trivia......
keep up the superb work.
ps.
i couldn't D/L the cast niver.
i beleive there,s no such thing as gravity
its the world that sucks!
lorry driver that loves the show guys thanx