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Tom Fordyce

Cartoons, chimps and chemical toilets (23)

The ominous parting words from the various BBC bosses have all been the same: “Have a good time, of course – but don’t crash the van, right?”

So immense, so space-age, so monstrously horse-powered is our vehicle that it appears any van-related insurance claim would leave the already shaky BBC finances on the brink of terminal meltdown.

I don’t like to spread scare stories, but whispers are that one small ding to the front bumper could be enough to force the instant cancellation of the next series of Celebrity-Chimp Archery On Ice.

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