Today is a Good Day for a Sexy Fun Run

Well, who would have thunk it? Attention, Everyone! Can I have you attention please? Dreich sport events in January apparently equal romantic shenanigans in Shieldinch! Need to spice up that love life? Throw on a pair of thermal jogging shorts and pull out that plastic poncho. It was getting everyone hot and bothered from high-kicking Octogenarians to twenty-something bartenders! Honestly, they should have had sultry saxophone music playing at that Fun Run starting post.

In all seriousness, were those some mega vibes coming off of Stevie and Stella or were we just imagining it? We’ll admit, in the wake of The Geyla, we have been longing for a new love that dare not speak its name but Stella’s only got eyes for Bob, hasn’t she?! She was probably just after a proper cuddle seeing as her husband thinks that the best way to enjoy some alone time is to stare at the wall for hours on end. We all know that poor Bob isn’t well but still, he’s not treating his special lady the way she deserves. No wonder Stella hit the roof when she found all the meds in his toolbox! Meanwhile, strapping Stevie Burns who kicks down doors to rescue adorable blonde children and knows just by looking at you that you’ve had a bad day and turns up to keep you company with a six pack of water and listens sympathetically while he rubs your shoulder… sorry, we seem to have gotten a little off track there *awkward cough*. As we were saying, he’s the ideal person to cheer you up but there was almost a ‘haud your horses’ moment when that hug lasted a wee bit too long.

And it wasn’t just the young ‘uns. All Shieldinchers seemed to be falling under the intoxicating thrall of damp Lycra and sweaty armpits as Molly and Liz battled it out for the attention of Maurice Norris. For all her high-kicking in tight workout gear and fancy Kelvinside accent, Molly proved too much for the genteel Mr Norris (though it probably didn’t help that she kept getting his name wrong).We did get a bit of a fright when it looked like there might be stormy seas ahead for Malcolm and Liz, the couple that made us believe in love again! But no, these two are a class act. As much as Mr Norris gave our Liz a well-deserved ego boost, we are ever confident that Malcolm and Liz are the real deal and nothing’s going to put a wedge in that love nest.

Now if you’ll excuse us - *grabs whistle and glow stick* - we’re off clubbing with Molly.



Next week: Alice has some visitors from Rochdale… the kind that hides when she’s about? Hmmm.



Quote of the week:

Maurice Norris: I thought you said you were a widow?

Molly: Ho! In my book when a man’s been missing ten year he’s presumed deid!