Archives for April 2012

All together now....AWWWWWWW!

Now was that the sweetest thing you ever did see? Finally Malcolm got the chance to make Luscious Liz his blushing bride in a beautiful (if somewhat overcast) lochside ceremony. Welcome to Scotland! But it all could've been very different if meddling Eileen had her way! Now we know here at RC Towers that Eileen loves her dear 'ole Dad and is concerned for his welfare. But suspecting that Liz was doing the old Anna Nicole Smith beggars the question...exactly which pipe have you been smoking from Eileen?!!

Thankfully a some wide-eyed looks from Gina and good talking to from Raymond finally brought Eileen to her senses. Although the word 'sorry' didn't exactly spill from her lips, here's hoping these two can reconcile their differences and do what's best for Malcolm in the future. Here's to many more years of 'arguing over the crossword puzzle' for our new favourite couple - 'Miz'!

But the best part of any wedding is, as always, the stag and hen night. Malcolm went for a quiet affair in the Ship, a refined whisky, some games of pool. His wife-to-be meanwhile was being corrupted by Molly, her jam jar of lukewarm Irish Cream, a L-Plate apron and her makeshift saucepan-drum. Liz prancing around with a pair of old pants on her head might be our highlight of the year!

But there's nothing like a wedding to bring all those bubbling tensions to the surface. As far as we're concerned you've only been to a good one if there's been a fight, people getting it on and some incredibly awkward moments as people start revealing the truth. And this wedding day was no different! We all love watching a new romance unfold, and don't get us wrong, we want our Robbie to be happy. But the first word that sprang to our lips when we saw him alongside our strapping DC Cooper?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

We're jealous, that's all! Good on Robbie for pulling himself such a hottie...and a hottie that's very interested in our Mr Fraser! (Twice in one day? 'Nuff said.) Hooray for future romances! Though if DC Cooper wants to stay in our good books he better not be trying to change the Robster. We'd miss our weekly fix of our flamboyant FMH.

But back in Shieldinch, Big Bob was getting some tough love from Glasgow's newest medical professional. She doesn't mince her words does she? Now perhaps Bob knows deep down he should be eating a bit more salad, but there's no need to be mean Dr Miriam! To be honest, faced with Tattie's bag of veg or a bite of Molly's tasty pie and chips, we know which we'd go for. Why hasn't the Oyster snapped up this culinary genius and cornered the market in comfort pies?! Jeez oh, Molly could you make a fortune!

Next week, The Hamilton's head off on honeymoon, Tattie tries her best to help the needy and Donald and Cooper have a murder investigation on their hands...

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

ZINNIE: Oh my God. It is exactly the same as Eileen's isn't it? I thought it was but then I thought 'no way' - cos that would just be...amazing...

(under her breath) ...that anyone would make two of them...

**THIS WEEK'S BLOG WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY GUEST EDITORS MAMY**

Well, folks, what can we say? Prejudice comes in all shapes and sizes and this week it came to Shieldinch in skinny jeans. Wasn't that weasel pure sneaky, giving Robbie the eye in the café only to turn nasty on the defenceless boy when his pal turned up. What a horrible thing to see happen to our poor Robbie and, joking aside, his experience of hate crime is a terrible thing that unfortunately does happen in real life. Here's hoping Robbie continues fighting the good fight and justice will come out right in the end. And it warmed out hearts to see the good people of Shieldinch rallying round our FMH (Favourite Male Hairdresser). Molly was her usual fabulous self, telling Robbie how it is and encouraging him to stand up for himself. You could definitely see the wee glint in her eye when Robbie gave her a cheeky kiss on Montego Street. Good boy, indeed!

And then the attackers tried to have a quiet homophobic pint at the Ship, only to feel the wrath of our FFH (Female, obvs), the Haylster. She. Is. Not. Having. It. We don't know about you but we never want to be the folk that get on the wrong side of her, Jimmy and Scarlett. We at RC Towers were punching the air in triumph as Robbie stood up to his two weasly attackers when it looked like they were turning on Hayley. Be warned! If you mess with Robbie's BFF, you best beware. We were also very pleased to see the strapping DC Cooper standing up for Robbie rights against DCI Donald...

In other news, Stella and Bob certainly have been getting down and dirty this week! What on earth was Stella looking up on t'internet?! Don't know about you, but the positions we spotted were not likely to get her pregnant. RC Towers did blush! With Stella demanding the nasty at specified timed intervals, poor wee Bob was naturally feeling slightly dominated. The flat might have gone all whips and leather if Deek hadn't encouraged Bob to chat through his feelings with his Mistress and ask for a little more romance and...um....gentleness. Maybe a safe word or two?

Meanwhile, Leyla is still not at all happy. When is this lady going to cheer up? Ok, yeah, her husband's gone down for murder and left her all alone with her incredibly mopey step-kids who are breaking the sarcasm sound barrier, and her son never seems to be around and her boss is forcing her to be a phlebotomist (Is this something to do with the bahookies of Shieldinch?!) and her house is a complete tip and even when she cleans it no one notices and she keeps making Sir Gabriel of Brodie run from the room so fast he leaves dust cloud!

Gah!!!!! Alright. We admit it. We'd be going nuts too! Though that was some very very intense wine-drinking while staring at nobody on the couch. Didn't look like she was having a good time, did it? Oh, Leyla, what's happening to you?

Next week, the wedding of the year! Move over Kate and Wills, it's time for us to go hat shopping for the Hamilton-Buchanan nuptials. Nothing could possibly go wrong...or could it?!

Quote of the week:

Stella: We're going again in exactly....60 seconds time. 'Mon! And then again 55 minutes after that. Or 55 hours, I'm kind of confused. We'll just do it both times to be on the safe side, right?!

**THIS WEEK'S BLOG WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY GUEST EDITORS MAMY**

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are undone.

If this was a 19th century novel, then everyone here at RC Towers would be very much in a swoon. Who is this hunky fella turned up as Robin to Donald's Batman? Why, 'tis no other than DC Cooper - and the DC stands for Delectably Cute.

But dear readers, we're torn. We already had our totty in the form of Shieldinch heartthrob Sir Gabriel of Brodie. Who to choose? There's only one thing for it; it's over to our Graham for a recap of our eligible bachelors in true Blind Date style...

Bachelor No. 1 - DC Cooper is a policeman for god's sakes. He looks great in a fitted shirt and chases down dim-witted criminals in a fancy-pants gilet. However, he's clearly the worst undercover officer ever - he's just too tall and too beautiful to blend in the streets of Glasgow. The temptation to talk about truncheons is overwhelming but we'll refrain at this point.

Bachelor No. 2 - But Sir Gabriel is not up to much good this week. Shacking up with shady contraband gangsters? Letting teenage boys gamble? Drinking in the middle of the day?! He's turning into our resident bad boy - bit of rough Housewives Favourite! And he does have such lovely hair. Add to that his emotional turmoil over GeylaGate. He's a complicated fella, that's for sure.

We must admit that the our new DC has got the advantage at the moment but oh Sir Gabriel of Brodie! We beseech you, come back to the light! The crown of 'Housewives Favourite' teeters with trepidation upon your lovely hair.

But without Gabe's influence, the House of Brodie is crumbling. Rebel son Conor is getting crazy - skipping school, underage gambling, doing anything he can to turn against his Evil Stepmother. He totally misses how incredibly shifty and uncomfortable good ol' Gabe looks when he asks him to take him to the prison. Not only does he not get to see his dad, but horror of horrors, he's missing Example Live in Concert! The trauma was just too much and fisticuffs with Adeeb ensued. Nicole's solution to add sarcasm and stir helped not a jot. Thank goodness for Leyla and her salad bowl diplomacy. This never would've happened in Austen...

In other news, Stella is having an 'is she/isn't she?' pregnancy scare and vomiting over all and sundry. Not even Scarlett's tasty looking lasagne was enough to make her feel better. But alas, there'll be no baby Adams rearing their head anytime soon - but who knows what's coming up next for Love's Young Dream Couple? Should we be expecting the delivery of a tiny Stella or a wee Wee Bob sometime in the future?!

But true love can win out! Tell Cilla she can buy herself a hat after all! After his dream move to Loch Lomond was scuppered by the turbulent housing market, Malcolm decided to put down his roots in another way - Liz is about to become the new Mrs Hamilton. Tears of joy shed here at RC Towers as Love's Slightly Older Dream is preparing for the wedding of the year! Move over Kate and Wills, we reckon Liz has got her eyes on a carriage...

So readers, Shieldinch's lovers and fighters can bring lessons to us all. Whether you're still looking for a DC of your very own, you've met the One or you're coming to love later in life, there's a chance for everyone. We're off to work out ways to get arrested by a certain strapping Mr Cooper.

Next week, our Robbie and his feather boa are standing up for their rights, Nicole does nothing to break her sarcastic streak and Stella and Bob start paving the way for a wee bairn...

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Stella: I'm late...

Iona: Do you want me to phone Gina?

**THIS WEEK'S BLOG WAS BOUGHT TO YOU BY GUEST EDITORS MAMY**

**NEWSFLASH**

You'll notice a Tennant-shaped gaping hole in this week's blog...well, we've got some bad news.

After Donald's (that's Detective CHIEF Inspector to you!) revelation to Lenny that he too has been partial to a bit of ViviFran action, Vikki just couldn't hold back....and revisited the Shieldinch Sex Tape for old times' sake. Despite the boak-warnings, her addiction was too much and she's currently recovering in a secure unit just outside Liverpool. She'll be back when the night terrors subside...

But back in Shieldinch, it's all going on. Heartbroken Lenny was shaken by news that Chief Donald (famous across Shieldinch in a front page spread, complete with a very smug mugshot!) has officially brought down McCabe's empire...are his shenanigans with the double-crossing ViviFran and Auld Aggie in the country cottage about to be exposed? Not a chance! Lenny Lenny Lenny - the gangster we know and love is back! The scene is set for a showdown between these two old adversaries. We're lining up Eye of the Tiger on repeat as we speak...

But our heartbroken bottom-lip-tremble of the week award goes to Housewives Favourite and all round Shieldinch heartthrob Sir Gabriel of Brodie. The remaining adult male of the Brodie clan was left reeling when Leyla rejected him after very evil but snappily dressed journalist Ian Miller (complete with controversial phone hacking reference!) started snooping around. But not before Nicole misread a kind touch between The Geyla, and decided to throw milk all over the kitchen floor. How's Leyla going to explain that away? Cats with opposable thumbs perhaps?!

Elsewhere, what do we make of the new doctor Miriam Stubbs, eh? One of those school-teacher types with eyes in the back of head. Not only is she hell-bent on sorting out Leyla and Dan with a couple of pointed looks and raised eyebrows, she looks like she's got her eye on the rest of Shieldinch as well! With her taking over at the surgery, who's gonna be the first to feel her wrath?! No one is safe so stop throwing paperclips!

And, poor Iona! Waking up this morning to find the deli has gone missing overnight must have been quite a shock. Perhaps Donald should've stepped in to get to the bottom of the Case of the Disappearing Deli. But it didn't take a genius DCI to discover that Shieldinch property magnate Raymond had sold it to be turned into a wee supermarket. What is the neighbourhood coming to?

Coming up next week it looks like Leyla is taking quite a bit of cheek from young Conor and Lenny is properly going for a piece of the McCabe empire. But who is it he's going into business with?

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

Leyla: Are those my earrings?...Get upstairs and take them off.

Nicole: Is that what my uncle used to say to you?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**This week's blog was bought to you by guest editors MAMY**