Ouch

• Posted by Zephyr
• 23 Jul 07, 7:55 AM

I've never thought of myself as a particularly strong person, at least not on the outside. I have arthritis, after all. Physical prowess doesn't exactly come along with damaged joints. Let's face it, I'm a wimp. A 5-year-old could take me out.

Yet, in some ways, I'm not such a wimp. I've discovered a few abilities that have made me rethink my self-proclaimed wimp status, at least in the upper body region. I've also learned that there are different kinds of strength.

I pack a mean punch. This is an ability I discovered one day when my boyfriend teased me a little too much. Maybe he made fun of my hair or something, but I hauled back and punched him in the chest multiple times. I made him beg for mercy! Ironically, I can't punch with my base knuckles, so I punch with either my middle knuckles or the joints themselves, which actually winds up hurting more. I also do this thing where I hit people with the heel of my hand really hard, which people never expect me to do. It's nice to know I have all these surprise defense tactics to pull out if I ever get attacked.

Which brings me to my second discovery. I'm not too slow in whipping out the canes if I need a weapon. A friend of mine once crossed the line when teasing me and fast as lightning, I whapped him under the kneecaps with my walking stick. He didn't even have time to see it coming. I think he'll think twice before insulting me again!

Man, I sound like I need anger management classes. Luckily for me, most of my male friends love being beaten up by good-looking girls.

My canes provided another opportunity for discovery when I wore through the rubber covering on the bottom. You know, that little rubber cap that keeps the bottom of the cane from tapping on the ground? My ankles have been quite bad lately, particularly the left ankle, and I wore through the rubber tip on my right cane as a result. No problem. I got it replaced by my pharmacist. A week later I wore through it AGAIN. Can you believe that? I thought, Holy cow, not only are my ankles that bad, but I must be really strong to be able to wear through a rubber tip in a week! And here I was, wondering why my right shoulder hurt so much. Let me tell you, I may be 20 lbs overweight right now, but if you squeeze my biceps and triceps, there's a lot of tight, toned muscle in these guns.

A friend of mine has a thing for hands and arms, and she tells me I have a remarkably strong, capable, firm yet sensitive touch. "So soft and gentle it masks the strength and directness behind it." I like that description.

Some days you can see me strutting down the street on my canes, reveling in my strong arms bearing the weight that my feet can't handle. As my hands grip the cane handles, I'm reminded of how agile and dexterous they are. These are the hands that type 70 words per minute. These are the hands that are learning to play guitar and the Irish tin whistle. These are the hands that elicit sounds of joy and pleasure from others. The arthritis has taken a lot of things I enjoyed from me, but I was happy that it spared my hands. Out of all the body areas to be affected by arthritis, the hands are the worst, for me. I had a flare-up in them once and I almost went nuts. I'm really glad the arthritis is dormant in them the majority of the time. I love my hands. They do so much for me and others!

Now I just need to learn how to trip idiots who say dumb things about my disability with my canes, and master the innocent look.

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