So what on earth is the RNID up to?

With yesterday being Valentine's Day, and Crippled Monkey being busy opening all the cards sent to me by my admirers, it rather slipped my notice that the RNID chose 14 February to announce the celebrity winners of their first ever Ear of the Year Awards. Yes, that's right - Ear of the Year.

And since you're wondering - because I just know you are - from a short list of 5 men and 5 women it was decided that singer Charlotte Church has the sexiest pair of female ears, with Doctor Who actor David Tennant taking the title for the men.

What slightly disappointed Crippled Monkey, however, was the lack of sexy deaf ears in the shortlist. Where was See Hear presenter Clive Mason, for instance, or percussionist Evelyn Glennie? I think we should be told.

Still, if you reckon you've got, er, damn sexy ears, now's your chance - because today marks the start of the search for the nation's sexiest pair of (non-celebrity) ears, with the general public being invited to send in a picture to the RNID for judging. Regional and national winners will be announced on 15 March. I'll certainly be entering - in fact, my ears are already completely bare and ready for their (artistic) close-up. Mmm.