So Tim Burton - director of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Night Before Christmas and other fantastical movies - might have Asperger's Syndrome. If Crippled Monkey were horribly cynical (which, of course, I'm not), I'd note that Mr Burton has now joined the long line of people who are quickly being diagnosed with AS or autism these days - a subject that our columnist Tom Shakespeare also wrote about a few months back, stoking up a great deal of controversy on our messageboard in the process.

But back to Tim Burton. How did this expert diagnosis come about, I hear you ask. Well, it's all down to his partner, Brit actress Helena Bonham Carter. She just been making a BBC TWO film called Magnificent 7, which is "inspired by real life supermum Jacqui Jackson and her extraordinary children", who featured in the Ouch-supported documentary My Family and Autism back in 2003. Having played Jacqui, it would appear that Helena now sees herself as some kind of expert on people on the autistic spectrum.

Helena's diagnosis is based on the fact that Tim Burton is highly intelligent but lacks social skills. Hmm. She goes on to say: "Tim will kill me, but while making this drama I realised he actually has a bit of Asperger's in him. You start recognising the signs . . . We were watching a documentary about autism and he said that's how he felt as a child. Autistic people have application and dedication. You can say something to Tim when he's working and he doesn't hear you."

Right. Well, there you go. That proves it, then. Er.