Winning hearts and minds

I'm afraid that if someone has shown absolutely no interest previous to the match then it's probably going to have to be a particularly exciting match to spark an interest. I think the power of being at the match is more a case of strengthening people's bond with the game.
Saying that, my very first experience of going to the football was with my dad and two sisters in the early 90's. We drove into London, walked to Stamford Bridge, found that the match was sold out, walked back to the car, drank our flask of soup and went home!
It might have put us all off,... It didn't! The whole atmosphere of 'going to the game': passing through the throngs of fans, picking up the buzz around the stadium, and my Dad's excitement, had been enough to grab our interest, so we went back a couple of weeks later and soon enough ended up as season ticket holders.

Good Blog Dan

Now back to the crisp chat - last week i nominated Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Nice & Spicy Nik Naks, i would also like to add to that list Spicy Tomato Wheat Crunchies - Any Thoughts???


Brian Pinas

Being a man who now works in the football world.. you took them to Wednesday vs Doncaster on a midweek game to try and win them over?? I think, to be fair, you are slightly pointing the finger of blame at the ladies when your choice should shoulder some.

Now if you were to have a go at their choice of headgear... there would be no problems.. chuffing nut cakes indeed.

Normal price crisps = Brannigans Ham & Pickle
Exotic Pub Crisps = Bacon Fries
10p Crisps = Tangy Toms

David Batty

LABSAB9: I think Salt 'n' Vinegar Disco's would come top of that list.

Dan, my other half says she's into football, and a Liverpool fan at that. However, one night she came home when Liverpool were playing in Europe (can't remember who against now) and got a bit excited when she thought they were playing Holland because the opposing team we're in Orange!!

I don't think I could adequately describe what went through my head at that point....

I took my girlfriend to her very first football match last season; Southampton vs Reading (in the midst of the Saints descent down the leagues). I had been to see the most boring match of my life 2 weeks previous - a dry, tedious, 1-1 draw at St Mary's against Forest, and I was nervous about the complaints to come...

Needless to say, despite another 1-1 draw, it was a great game: end-to-end, goal-line clearances, late challenges. My girlfriend was singing 'When the Saints...', ate a pie at half time, and was even wearing my hat and scarf by the end.

Have we been since? No. I made the msitake of showing her the Shopping Centre as we walked back to our car...

Nice article Dan. I have just started going out with a girl in Sheffield (I live there but I'm from Newcastle) and she said she's never watched a football match (I think that also includes on the TV) and said that is unlikely to change. One thing's for sure. I would not pick a mid-week game in Sheffield. It's freezing here!

Thing is I only ever go back to Newcastle the weekends we're at home. This weekend is Mother's Day. Not a good enough reason to go home. The card's in the post - job done. However next weekend we're playing at home, definitely worth the 280m round trip.

Going to the match is not just about the 90 mins. It's about the banter with the opposition fans and the passion surrounding the city centre. I'm struggling to put an effective argument to my lass to sample St James Park for the first time.

Also do I invite her to the last home match of the season (hopefully we'll be promoted by then) or dress up as Gutierrez and Coloccini with my mates to celebrate?

Who'd be a football fan?!

Dan, my girlfreind is sometimes forced to watch the mighty arsenal now and again. I first thought that perhaps if I told her enough times that she loves that cheeky little russian on the left wing she might start to believe it.

I don't think thats really worked but now she has started putting a bet on whenever I force her to watch them. Now that works, she gets well into it! I have to say though if her bet goes out the window early on she seems to loose interest again fairly quickly.

Still, she does love that cheeky little russian.

#4 That is a great shout, they are extremly salty & vinegary (if you know what i mean!!!)

Bernt Haas

Why do you fools insist on calling it 'the beautiful game'?
There is nothing beautiful in the players behaviour, the ref's inability to control games (or players), the childish politics, the costs to fans, or the self-importance of the whole setup. The refusal to accept technological solutions to match-spoiling officials' cock-ups shows just how arrogant and self-destructive your 'beautiful game' is.
Get a life and leave those of us who hate the sport to loathe in peace.

Sophie and Libby? Dude, how posh are your friends?

Personally I don't think that you can beat a Worcester Sauce flavour Walkers.

Novelty corn based snacks are all well and good but there is a certain joy about eating a proper crisp shaped crisp!

Regards

Ibrahim Ba

I have tried on a few occasions to get my Girlfriend excited about the beautiful game. Unlike the Shef Wed match, the games I took the other half to were, in the most part, great games.
Her first game was a cold midweek game a few years ago away to Partick Thistle, to play in the Challenge cup (a competition played between the 1st, 2nd and 3rd divisions in Scottish football). Not an obvious choice for a first game but St.Johnstone (my team) had previously beaten Partick 4 nil in the last few games, so a easy(ish), enjoyable win was expected. Partick however were inspired and despite the best efforts of the Saints players and after extra time the game was at a stale mate at 4 all (2-2 FT). Thankfully the Saints prevailed with a well deserved penalty victory. 8 goals, extra time and penalties, what more do you want, but she was not impressed.
Determined I took her to the last game of the 06/07 season, St.Johnstone were needing a win away at Hamilton and a Gretna loss or draw to get promoted. It was a gorgeous summers day, St.Johnstone (managed by Owen Coyle) were playing brilliantly and after a few goals from Jason Scotland were well one their way. However the girlfriend was not impressed. Due to my laziness I only got tickets last minuet and as such we were sitting at the end of the stand behind the goals. Unfortunately a few pigeons had made this area of the ground their home and had decorated it (as pigeons do) accordingly, she was not impressed. A win for St.Johnstone completed we had to wait an agonising 7 minuets for the Gretna game to end, at least I thought a promotion party could turn her apathy. Sadly the loudly swearing man behind me confirmed that Gretna had scored a last minuet winner, leaving the large away support devastated, did my girlfriend care? Nope. Two games full of drama, good football and banter, I fear she will never be convinced.

Well you'd have been much better off taking them to the derby game!
Derby 5-3 Preston - you cant go wrong!

The wife and I took kids to see a Leeds match...
To say that it was intimidating was an understatement. The language from fans in the proximity to where we were was atrocious. Mostly directed to the away fans, team/players - worst of all to the ref as well.

Why is it that majority of footie fans attending a match feel the need to abuse the opposition (and the ref).?

That is certainly not winning over any new people.
I wont be taking my kids back in a hurry

(food was mostly awful, but the cup of tea I had was grand!)

I went out with a girl who was a season ticket holder at Bolton which was great as they are my team too. However, i don't think i've had any luck with any other girls when it comes to getting them to watch football. I have incedently found it far easier to get them to enjoy Rugby.

The worst time i attempted to get someone into football was a friend i had from Canada who only had ever really seen the sky 4 teams. I took him to a dire Bolton 0-0 Blackburn, and whilst he seemed amused at the "banter" between the fans, he never went to a game again.

In terms of crisps i like Flame Grilled Steak McCoys, a meaty crisp.

@11 Good shout

Took my then new girlfriend to see QPR vs Birmingham last season, her first game.
Just to put it in context, it was a mid-week game, and it was about minus 10, and a literal blizzard. QPR have had two games postponed this season for conditions much better than this was. So it’s minus 10, you can barely see the pitch for the snow, and it’s a terrible game of football. The stadium is half full at best. Mikele Leigertwood gets sent off for an innocuous challenge midway through the first half making the QPR performance even more dogged against high flying Birmingham. This is not one for the purists.
QPR eventually win 1-0 thanks to a near wonder goal from our Italian striker Di Carmine, who was a vanity signing by Briatore, and is, to be fair, rubbish. It was one of only 2 goals he scored all season.
And the girlfriend? Now a season ticket holder at QPR!

I tried a similar thing, taking my girlfriend to Roots Hall for a Southend game a couple of months ago, which they lost 1-0 in what was probably the worst game I'd ever seen.

It took me a while to persuade her to give it another try. So when she finally came around to the idea, I wasn't going to put it to waste - or take any Roots Hall based risks.

So we went to the Emirates. Arsenal 4 - 0 Alkmaar. She's now an Arsenal fan, and actually gets annoyed when she misses a game.

This really is quite a boring and overly long blog (for the topic) Dan. No offence meant, thought I should give you the honest feedback.

I only have one experience of this - being a Middlesbrough fan who lives in the south its not always easy to get to games. One game i remember for various reasons is the UEFA Cup semi final. I was seeing a girl who despised football (well said she did having never really watched a game - her dad was a rugby man). I convinced her a trip to the Northeast would be a good break for us along with the promise that we would go to York as well so we could do some 'culture' as well.

Well I couldnt have taken her to a better game for atmosphere or excitement - she now loves football and I think her current husband owes me a big pat on the back because she drags him to games! Though I doubt she will ever experience that sort of game again!

In my experience, football's a bit like Marmite you either love it or hate it and those who hate it can't understand what people who like it see in it and vice-versa.

The only exception being during World Cups or Euros when even avid footie haters get caught up in the country's pandemic euphoria - especially if the national team are doing well (take Italia'90 and Euro'96). This is why the game gets such a boost when the national team achieve's something and why we often hark back to 1966 and all that.

Unlike Marmite however (I know how you love your food analagies) footie can become a harmful addiction and once hooked it's hard to kick the habit - more often than not it causes no end of misery and heartbreak and joy is often short lived and memories of past glories are all we are left with; but it's capacity for the briefest moment to take you to heaven that keeps you coming back!

@11 That would be second on my list. Followed by Frazzles I reckon :)

Top 3.

1. Salt 'n' Vinegar Discos.
2. Walkers Worcester Sauce.
3. Frazzles.

My other half loves going to watch Liverpool, she sings the songs etc, but I just don't think she has the patience to watch it on tv, it's very rarely she'll see the whole game on tv. Gets bored too quickly, and the way we're playing this season i'm almost tempted to join her.

10. At 09:32am on 11 Mar 2010, EnglandGrim wrote:

Sophie and Libby? Dude, how posh are your friends?

he works for the BBC of course he's posh, they only cover football as part of their outreach programme, they would only show Rugby (and only union) if they could get anyone to watch it.

Dan. Lesson in life there - if you want to get somebody into football pick the right game. We (Wednesday) are playing horrible football at the moment, have no quality, and a decent selection of our fans are among the most negative in the country - I've heard blokes complaining at Hillsborough even when we've been three or four up!
When I was a boy, we lived and Barnsley and as all my school friends were reds I wanted to support them but my Dad, who was born a 15min walk from Hillsborough, obviously wanted me to become an Owl. So some time in the early 80's he took me to see Barnsley play out an unbeliveable low quality 0-0 draw with Shrewsbury Town in a battered Oakwell. A few weeks later we went to Hillsborough to see Wednesday play an FA Cup tie against Leyton Orient. As a naive 7-year old I had no real appreciation of the differences between the divisions so when we ran in five goals I thought Wednesday were the best team ever and have been hooked from that moment on.
I now live in Stalybridge and, when my boy is old enough, I'll follow the same logic, take him to a game at Stalybridge Celtic in January/February, then to the final game of the season at Hillsborough and let him decide......

You took two girls to a football match, got all factual, told them they shouldn't have brought a packed lunch then expected them to enjoy the experience?! Duh! Trust me, I'm a girl and my first football match was an FA Cup replay between Reading and Tottenham. I became a Reading supporter (even though we lost) and I've never looked back since. In fact, it's become my lifetime ambition to encourage more women to go to the football because I believe it's got such a bad press, that women in particular just dismiss it without really understanding the experience.

What you should have talked about is the passion and community. It's not like going to the theatre (as Kevin Keegan once pointed out) in football you can influence the game as a fan - hence the chanting and banter, which can be quite witty and atmospheric. It's about coming together and supporting - or experiencing that support. Let's call it "feeling the love". Did you go to a pub or chat to other supporters? It's amazing the camaraderie between fans - even rival fans.

Full marks for talking about the history. Football is a culturally British thing and if you can understand the feelings around football, you can understand the British psyche. You should tell them that too.

Then you've got the story on the pitch. You've got one side of heroes and one side of villains pitched in battle against each other - obviously which side is which is a matter of opinion. Even if you have no affiliation, it's interesting to people-watch the spectators to see whose side they're on, but to really enjoy it you need to get emotionally involved with one side or the other. A friend of mine called it "pantomime for adults", that's just what it's like. Tell them to look out for particular characters and tell them what they're like. Last night we saw Robbie Savage playing up to being the pantomime villan, then he went in goal and pulled off some fine saves, so everyone was cheering him. It's all good-hearted fun if you want it to be! The experience is what you make it.

And don't forget, these are women you're taking. What can be better than seeing a group of fit young men at their peak showing off what they can physically do. I remember reading that all sport is about experiencing what it's like to fly. Tell them to watch out for the wingers running forward and the crosses into the box. Feel the euphoria of a goal going in.

Obviously, football is like any sport and attracts the geeks who deal in statistics and tactics and everything, but try the KISS approach first. You can get onto formations etc later.

Anyway, since my conversion to football I've taken several friends and relations and I'm working on the others who are now taking an interest, looking out for the results and starting to know a bit about the team. It's a start. They'll come round in the end. Saying that... would Libby and Sophie like to come to the Madejski stadium to watch Reading? I reckon they might enjoy the fight of our underdogs.

I think us football fans actually suffer from a 'Utopian HYPERopia', given that we're too close to the game to see it for what it really is. Good blog though.

Oh, and Pickled Onion Monster Munch rule. Although for posh crisps, you can't beat Honey Barbecue Kettle Chips. And Scampi Fries for pub crisps. And 'Oinks' for 10p crisps, or as we call them in Glasgow, 'two bobbers'.

I'm lucky - my wife loves watching football (she was excited as me about the Milan vs Man U game last night !!) - she even understands the offside rule in all it's euro-complex glory . . . maybe that's something, you have to apply female logic to understand it . . .would explain a lot . . . ANYWAY, the reason for my post is this. Whilst my dearly beloved's grasp on the game is admirable, Geography is a much slippier subject !!

I recently persuaded her to watch the final of the African Nations Cup (a masterclass in how to self-destruct on a global stage by the way) and half way through the first half the following conversation took place:

Wife: I'm surprised Brazil aren't playing
Me: Eh ??
Wife: Brazil, they're not in the the final, who did they lose to ??
Me: Ummm they're not in this, it's the African Nations cup love.
Wife: Yes, I know that, so why aren't they playing ??
Me: Because Brazil is in South America ??
Wife: I KNOW !!! It's where they're having the World Cup this summer, stop trying to make me look stupid !!

(By this point I'd realised my grave, grave error but was too far down the road to go back)

Me: Ummmmm the world cup is in South Africa love, South America is on the other side of the world . . . just south of America . . .

Needless to say the rest of the match was watched in a tense silence . . .

Dan

Don't want to be 1 to moan but the moderation on this blog is getting worse (bit like McNulty's) can you have a word mate?

Wolfgang Wolf

Dan, question for Dean: As a Man Utd fan (him not me obviously) what's his view on the whole Red Knight situation, is he for or against it?

Think I invented Worcester Sauce crisps back in the 80's.

RECIPE: Ready Salted add loadsa Worcester Sauce. Leave to soak then drink leftover sauce. Burn mouth!

Never took it to footie though...

Interesting feature Dan, possibly you could cover a related issue in Football Foucs about players who aren't really interested in football! I remember that Julian Dicks did not have a great interest in the game despite playing it professionally. On occasions he would watch the golf instead of highlights from his west ham game that day. I also remember Chris Bart-Williams body popping to music with his headphones on...On the subs bench for the 1993 FA Cup Final!!! Crazy.

Crisps - Look no further than the flavoursome T-Bone steak Royster

Mr Ashton - Please ask him what he considers to be his greatest ever goal. That overhead kick at Old Trafford, or his bundled FA Cup final goal.

I tried for a while to get my girlfriend to appreciate the beautiful game, but with no luck. But then having been with her for a while I realised it was one way I could 'get away' for a little bit without too many questions....at which point I accepted her lack of interest and ceased to bother her!

LABSAB9 - you are a crisp man after my own heart!! Spicy Tomato Wheat Crunchies are a FANTASTIC crisp!! The Worcester sauce flavour aren't bad either...in fact, I dare say you would struggle to find a better 'variety pack' than a mixed slection of Wheat Crunchies....do we have any contenders??!

Libby had feared that would be the case and had come prepared... with a packed lunch!

Bless

Dan - your (sentimental but great) article reminds me of my current dillema - as you may be able to tell by my login name I am a Boro fan - and more significantly in relation to the article - have been through the pain and misfortune of following one of Englands none top four sides - and it hurts!!!! and it costs both emotionally and financially and as the father of an 8 year girl I have mulled over what to do - her current standard response is "football is boring" - and she hasnt even been to a game yet - uninformed yet knowledgable eh - do I inflict the experince on her or just let her be free of the lifelong torment of following a footy team - simples really?

ANdy - what a game to take your girlfriend to - I was at the Basle game but decided not to go to the Steau game as I didnt want anything to spoil that expereince of beating Basle - omg how wrong I was!!!!

Brannigans Ham and Mustard / Flamin' Hot Monster Munch

Yours

Dean Sturridge (obv)

Dan, I can't believe you didn't go for the Steak & Henderson's-schoolboy error! I hope you took the opportunity to stock up on the Hendo's whilst in the area. If you do happen to go through with any more bizarre thought processes and decide to visit Hillsborough again, try the Beres Pork Sandwiches-worth putting up with the 'football' for.

Oh and can you ask Ashton what he's planning to do next career wise?

I'd also be interested to know what implications a career-ending injury has for his normal life, how it affects him. Like can he still run about in the park or at the gym or whatever, or is he hobbling everywhere?

Dan - Im slightly confused by the pic - Libby and Sophie (posh) and another girl are in the pic - or is that how you dress up for a footy match?

I took my six year old daughter to watch Bury last season. I was updated on her levels of boredom about forty times in the first half and we spent most of the second half wandering between the rows of empty seats in the manny road end.
She (incorrectly) remembered one of the chants though and spent the rest of her weekend giving it 'Alan Mills barmy army' over and over. Thankfully we won so there wasn't much swearing.
She did like it, though, when I threw in her in the air after Andy Bishop scored. I caught her too.

Err, why are you even taking women to a footie match . . .

isn't that what malls are for?

Mrs. Fregoli once expressed an interest in coming fishing with me once . . . but I soon knocked that on the head by saying 'Good, you'll be able to keep my maggots warm in your mouth. They wriggle around more like that you know and it makes them more attractive to the fish.'

After this I didn't hear another.

You young guys and your new-man ways have a lot to answer for. I blame after shave . . . and possibly quiche.

Good blog Dan. I think you and Jake really know how to write an interseting & enjoyable read.

Callisto - Whats your sport then? Something fast and furious like Boules/Curling?

Uwe Fuchs

my wife will only watch portugal, or games with a reasonable number of portugese players involved. dunno why..

+1 for the pork sarnie!

I've never understood what was meant to be "beautiful" about football/soccer. I think Pele must have been smoking a pair of his old boots when he referred to it as that.

Dan - great call on the cheese puffs. Apart from the brilliant name they are also the most morish (a word I may have just made up) crisp around.

Surely we are all forgetting salt and vinegar squares though. is there a more flavoursome crisp around?

I have found it easier to get people (mostly of a female persuasion but some gents also) into non-league football as there is slightly more amusement to be had if you can't be bothered with the actual football.

For example I am a Pickering Town fan and I took a friend to a matche where a man spent the entire first half shouting "Football Football Football" whilst banging a colander that was on his head before turning to the stand (of about 20 people) and asking "Am I wrong?". He then got bored and left at half time. Oh and there was a Rolf Harris lookalike there as well (not a professional).

To be honest I was more interested in the tasty 2-2 draw that was developing and the official's bizarre decision to let a free kick for offside be taken in the offending team's half but the off the field incidents were more than enough to keep my friend entertained and they attended on and off for the rest of the season.

Bearing in mind the need to take a lady to a big game as a means of grabbing their attention, I took my wife to Forest v Derby in the FA Cup last year. We only just arrived in time for kick-off and I treated her to a "chicken and mushroom" pie which she was just about to tuck into when Chris Cohen rifled a shot into the top corner after 30 seconds, prompting 26,000 Forest fans to jump to their feet - apart from my wife who simply sat there with a look of absolute shock on her face.

We then scored again 10 minutes later, only to eventually lose 3-2 thanks to an inspired performance by Forest old boy Kris Commons who my wife delightedly joined in the booing of.

All in all, it was a complete success and she said she "might" come to another game "at some point in the future". I'm thinking a play-off final at Wembley might suffice!

I've got an absolutely footy mad mate whose long-term girlfriend (now fiancee) hates footy and any talk of it. He told me in his attempt to get her to like football he took her to a Rotherham game. Doomed to failure from the start...

Dan, can you ask Dean Ashton, if Sepp Blatter removes the offside rule will he come out of retirement as he'll can just lean on the post for 90 mins?

Two things are vital when introducing someone to football; timing and managing expectations. It has to be a decent game while at least one of the teams (not necessarily yours) is playing well, and you have to be realistic as to how it is going to be.

About 3-4 months into our relationship, I took my better half to Prenton Park for the first time. She was a Man United ‘fan’ (I say that as she’s from the Midlands and has been to Old Trafford once), so I said to her plainly “it won’t be like Old Trafford and instead of Ronaldo we have Chris Shuker”. We were under Ronnie Moore back then and playing some decent stuff, as were our opponents, Hartlepool United, although – with respect – the fact we had a chance at beating them was a factor in choosing the game.

It was a decent game (which fortunately had it all – red card, own goal, and a win for us) and she was surprised at both the standard of football and the stadia, and really enjoyed the banter between fans – and was making up her own nicknames for the players to remember which is which. By the mid-point of the second half she turned to me and said “why don’t more people come to games at their local clubs? This is great”.

Now, 2 years on, we regularly attend home matches together despite living in the Midlands, and we even ventured our first away game together at Walsall last season, on which she was less keen, but we’ll try again.

She has since admitted to me that she wasn’t hooked immediately and that she “may have spent more time looking at Antony Kay’s bum than the game” initially, but he’s long gone and she’s still going so every little helps!

ps - cheap crisps, beef transformers

Stefan Beinlich

I think your all absolutley bonkers for wanting to take wives/girlfriends/female friends to a football match!! If girls like football from the outset then fair enough. But trying to convert them? Give over. Football is too important to me to be trying to explain why Paul Mckenna hardly ever gets over the half way line in his deep lying central midfield defensive role. With your mates/family, that knowledge is taken as given. No need for formation chit chat either. With football matches most of them are drab affairs, but its that constant belief that the next one will see your team smash the opposition 5-0. Football is the best spectator sport in the world because of the pasion created by the people watching it. Unfortunately some of the language is vile, but if you take the language and pasion out of supporters then you may as well go and watch foam hand waving, popcorn eating sports like Rugby league. No thanks.

Dan, I was disapointed that you felt it necessary to translate to the reader what a marathon is or was. Not every reader of your blog is 12. Us older ones need something to hold over the young whipper snappers!!

If you want to get someone who hasn't been to a match before, interested in football, you can't do much worse than take them to a foreign game. If you were taking a girl, you could go to somewhere like Barcelona or Milan so that they could do a bit of shopping pre-match...? One of my favourite places to watch football though is Germany. They still have terracing, you can have something pretty decent to eat, and a beer too. Also, unless you speak German, you would have no idea if they are swearing or not! The atmosphere is also passionate but has never felt threatening in the times I have been.

If you go during warmer weather they have some great fan-parks over there too. All in all a great experience, and do-able in a day if you go to somewhere like Schalke, in the west of Germany.

Dan, could you please ask Dean what he's most looking forward to doing now he's retired? Is he going to do TV punditry, any study, or just enjoying time with his family? Past couple of years must have been a rollercoaster ride for him with physio, surgery etc, so hope he gets to enjoy himself for a bit.
As for footie matches, I took my fiancée to a Chelsea Carling Cup home game last season (v Macclesfield Town I think - as a member and not a season ticket holder I struggle to get tickets for the big games!). She thought the atmosphere was a bit quiet (what away fan doesn't think that when they come to the Bridge?!) but enjoyed herself. Won't catch her asking to come to another game in a hurry though!
On the snackage front, I've recently got into Levi Roots' Reggae Reggae Sauce coated peanuts and Marmite coated cashews, but my top votes go to:
- 10p bag: S&V Chipsticks (am with you on that one Dan)
- Normal: Chilli n Lime flavour Pringles / Beef flavour Hula Hoops (flavour, crunch plus novelty value of rings for your fingers)
- Posh: Red Thai Curry Flavour Kettle Chips
- Pub: Scampi Fries (although prefer Big D peanuts for obvious reasons)

Oh yes, and please ask Dean who was the toughest defender he came up against in the prem.....ta!

If people have not shown an interest in football by the age of 5, then they should not be encouraged into doing so thereafter. They are a lost cause and do not deserve exposure to the beautiful game.

Salt n' vinegar minichips, not for the faint hearted.

#33 Chris Bart Williams body popping.... Quality...

Phillipe Albert

Hmmm so for someone who has never attended football match it would appear that the appeal is as follows.

1, Pay an absolute fortune for addmitance
2, Sit surrounded by loud mouthed men who constantly scream obscenities at each other whilst spending 45 minutes watching 22 overpaid players failing to do their job properly.
3, Spend another fortune on revoltingly inedible consumables for ten minutes.
4, Wash rinse and repeat for another 45 minutes.
5, Spend the same amount of time as watching the game sitting in a car waiting to exit the car park.

I see!

Oh btw Marmite flavoured crisps are the very best imho.

Take care

TMF

Dan, cracking blog again mate.
My dad, a Rangers fan from the 60s, took his Australian mate to an Old Firm for his first football experience.
I believe Rangers won and my dad says he'll never forget the look on his friend's face when Rangers scored because he was ravaged by a total stranger who stood behind him!

After being congratulated in a Spurs programme on the day of my wedding in 2005 (Chelsea at the Lane) I took the opportunity to take my wife to a game against Fulham a month or so later...
Huge Mistake. Not all people from Brazil are that enamoured by the beautiful game, and especially not when the first half is not what you'd call samba soccer. it was extremely cold and wet, again not great. To compound the error she nipped to the loo at around the 70 minute mark, so Kanoute duly scored for us.
She had to wait until injury time for the second goal from Keane, but by then it was too late, she was cold, wet, miserable and bored.
The World Cup in 2006 however, that was a different matter, and every Brazil game was watched by a woman who bore little resemblance to my better half.

Having started going out with a girl who likes her football, she decided she wanted to go with me to the next match I was going to - it so happened to be one I was refereeing in a local semi-pro (or Junior as it is up here) league near her home village. Turned out she spent more time making the tea and drinking it with the home club's other halves than watching the game!

To make things worse, she then wanted to go to the next game and sat freezing (as she didn't take the car keys when offered) while I had to calm down a rather charming manager post-match and was slightly delayed by the report that had to be written! Still, she claims the fluorescent yellow kit worn at the time looked good on me - I think she may have been taking the michael, so to speak!

Crisps - where is the shout for Kettle Chips? Had a packet of Sweet Chilli ones yesterday - delicious!

Jonatan Johannsson

I took my girlfriend to her first ever game a few weeks ago. I am an Evertonian and when I met her she claimed to support liverpool. After spending more time with her she eventually warmed to the blues until her affections became warmer than those she had for the reds across the park.

In the end I decided to take her to a game. It was Everton-Man United. I thought the dislike of Man U she would had from being a Liverpool fan might transform into support for Everton! Dan... she loved it mate. She said it was the best days of her life! And after we won 3-1 she said she wants to go again! But how are we going to top that?!

So my attempt was a tad more successful than yours, Dan, but I get the feeling her interest will diminish when she next witnessess a bore 0-0 draw with Bolton.

#57

Dan - A shopping trip to Meadowhell . . . which I didn't actually know about but she suddenly started being nice to me again shortly after "coffee with the girls" ended in a mountain of bags & boxes.

One day I'll regale you with the speed camera story . . . that nearly resulted in an RTA due to uncontrollable laughter . . . and cost me a weekend in London :(

I once took a girlfriend to watch Cardiff City in the old third division in what was an unusually succesful season. A young Eddie Newton was on loan at City and had been a star for the Bluebirds. Promotion had already been guaranteed and this was his last game before returning to Chelsea.

At the final whistle we regulars wanted to say a thank you to Eddie for his contribution so invaded the pitch(in an organised and controlled manner of course). Whilst carrying Eddie shoulder high on a lap of honour I suddenly remembered my inexperienced fellow spectator and reaslised she was proabbly still standing on the Bob Bank not having a clue where to go or what to do!

She never came to Ninian Park again!

Cheap crisps: Space Raiders (Pickled Onion)

I once worked with a Scot who brought two packets of Beef Space Raiders in EVERY morning with a bottle of Iron Brew. What a breakfast :)

Another fine blog, I genuinely feel for Dean Ashton. I remember reading reading a while back that he still has not been able to jog comfortably. I managed to bring my girlfriend to Loftus road to watch the rrrrs play Sheffield United, it was a damp squid(0-0), but she enjoyed it and even jumped up a few times with anticipation of a goal that never came.

My question for Dean is, if say his ankle healed and he was able to run on it again. Would he consider trying to get back into the game??

Over the years I've tried to convince many people, females included, that going to see a live game is an experience like no other and I've reached the following conclusions:
1. If the person in question is an adult...forget it. I think one of the main reasons i love Arsenal so much is the memory of the excitement i felt attending my first game at Highbury as a youngster (7 i think!). Adults are just too jaded to get caught up in that excitement.
2. Women not understanding football. This, as a reason for them not to enjoy watching the game, is a fallacy. I also regularly watch London Irish and every girl who i have taken to see the Exiles has not understood the game in the slightest but really enjoyed themselves. Apparently this involves rugby players and their thighs but i'm unclear on the details.
3. Football fans themselves are probably the biggest reason for people not enjoying themselves, though. I don't know how it happened, but all of the wit appears to have been drained out of the terraces. I remember happily sitting at highbury in stitches due to comments coming from the stands...now all i hear is f this and f that and f the other. It's frankly not the kind of atmosphere a newbie can get into. On the other hand, and going back to point 2, rugby crowds are much more fun and certainly FAR more family friendly. Plus rugby crowds get to bring their drinks back to their seats. If you need a reason to watch rugby instead of football that's it.

Oh, and finally to whoever it was who talked about the BBC only showing rugby union if they could. ITV are the ones that show rugby union with the exception of the big tournaments...so what's your point?

Dan, I preferred the Texan Bar instead of a Marathon. Shame Nestle don't do them anymore!!!

My (Brazilian) girlfriend won't watch any football with me here, doesnt come to watch Swindon with me (cue anti-Swindon jokes)), doesnt watch Premier League games with me on Sky or the Champions League. However, she was quick to whisk me off to the Emirates last week to watch Brazil and shes already got her Dad to get tickets for us to see Sao Paulo play when we go there in April. Fickle beings these females.

Can't beat Doritos and a Boost

Well... i have seen both sides of this one.

the first game for my other half was standing on the terraces, in the rain, at Stockport Vs QPR... and it was a dull game even for a die-hard R like me with no memorable moments... and she hasnt forgiven me since.

however, i took a rugby fan and a female colleague (both anti-football) to their first ever game to see Barcelona Vs Villareal... 5-0 Barca, Ronaldinho hat-trick, 3rd was an overhead kick to boot.... and they were both converted into fans....

so, by my very scientific research - the differences were:

- warm weather
- a good attendance
- lots of goals
- a spectacular moment (replayed on big screens for those who werent following) from the world player of the year
- sangria in the bloodstream

so, if you follow those 5 simple rules - you will manage to convert anyone to the glorious game...

good luck

Hi Dan,

For Dean Ashton, I would be interested if you could ask him something about what the FA have done for him since he was forced to take early retirement, whether they put on courses for footballers who have had to take injury-dictated early retirement etc...

As for trying to introduce people to football, I tried taking my girlfriend to Sunderland v Bolton. We sat in the away end and I maintained that there would be tonnes of fit guys for her look at for ninety minutes whilst I bellowed out fan-tactics from the stands...unfortunately the first player she eyed up was Andy O'Brien and after that she just didn't bother!!!! had i been three years earlier I could have introduced her to Ivan Campo! Ah well.

have fun with rooney and a good show on Saturday, Bahrain GP and FFocus on the same weekend - sweet! ross, @ https://footballshorts.wordpress.com

Do you keep the white stick behind the sofa when you're doing Football Focus? You'll soon find out I'm sure if Mrs Walker has found out you think she's a bloke!

Andy Lineghan

Hi Dan, interesting topic.

I remember taking my cousin, who was into football but had never been to a game, to Aldershot v Crawley on a lovely day in March 2005. Aldershot won 1-0 thanks to a ridiculous chest and volley from Darren Barnard, although the main memories of the day were being blinded an extremely low sun and Daniel Marney (I think) missing an open goal.

Unfortunately I've never had the opportunity to take him back.
But I'd never take a girlfriend to football to try and convert her, as it could only be awkward. Especially if she becomes hooked and you split up.

Allan Nielsen

has knowne had cheese and onion squares brilliant crisps

all my love

Ken Monkou

Sorry but beautiful game and Wednesday? Naw doesn't work for me either.

This blog is very disappointing. The girls are not even identified in the photo. I think I like the one on the left the most. Are they single and can you connect me with them, Dan? Thanks. I'm a real stand up guy, so I'm sure they'd really enjoy my company and I'd be sure to improve their view of football.

Dan,

I think the issue here might be cultural. Allow me to explain. Growing up in North London, just about everyone I knew--family and friends; male and female--knew about, and followed with a range from apathy to unhealthy zeal, an English club. Those who did not (which is why I say "just about everyone") followed, say, tennis, rugby, etc., or perhaps didn't follow a sport at all.

When I moved to New York City, I found that most people derided 'soccer' as a game played vigorously by boys attended by suburban 'soccer moms'. That is, the 'professional' game was not quite followed except by a group of expats or Americans who usually went to a handful of 'soccer pubs', with 'Nevada Smiths' being particularly crowded during any given match, with all the chanting, flags, kits, etc. It was easy, to my mind, to convert my friends to soccer here in America for one reason: exoticism.

Back in London, one of my mates still doesn't care for the sport: he associates it with 'rude banter', greedy players, unsavoury headlines, etc. But here in America, it seems to strike my non-football-affiliated friends as 'exotic', particularly as watching a match will involve waking up at 6am, getting to a furtive pub at 7am, getting a good seat with, persuading the barmaid to turn the volume higher (or lower if the commentary is in American), and staying there all day. The scarves and kits all look so delightfully exotic to Americans that following soccer can actually become hip because it's not what others follow (gridiron football, baseball, ice hockey). I suppose the same can be said for fashion, music, accent, etc. Anyhow, that's my two cents' worth.

Cheers!

It CAN work - I took my wife to a Man City match around 10 years ago - fast forward to today and not only does she have a Man City tattoo, but our youngest son is named Keegan.

(the only kinda sad thing is that I'm actually a Brighton supporter .... ho hum ;) )

My experience with my fiancee at sometime in the70s, was a trip to see My team the Millers play Barnsley at Oakwell with dad, uncles and cousins, terrible ground at the time trudging up the muddy slopes then listening to all the banter, halftime cup of bovril and a meatpie(before Pukka was invented). Shes not been to a game since. Neither has she let me forget it 30 odd years later.

Wierd or wot?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

I took my flatmate to see Hearts host Rangers a few years ago. She followed the Middlesborough results but had never been to an actual game. The game itself was full of effort from both teams and a fair amount of heavy challenges, whic got the crowd going. Hearts winning with just a few minutes to go and Rangers are awarded what can only be described as a "soft penalty" - the Hearts fans go a bit nuts at the award and my flatmate suddenly realises she's surrounded by around 18,000 people who don't like the 2,000 odd people at the other end of the stand at all.

She's never been back to another game. Shame really cause it was a good example of the passion involved in a good game of football. I have found that if a woman is going to watch a game of footie, she much prefers the comfort of her own home to do it in. There she can do other things at the same time and doesn't have to put up with too much of the colourful language.

About 8 years ago (around about the 2002 world cup), I got my then-girlfriend interested in football to a certain extent. She hadn't really got much of a clue what football was about, but I managed to persuade her to play PES on the Playstation with me (playing together vs the PC). She seemed to quite like it, even though it took a while to get used to the controls - it brought out a real competitive streak in her!

At the same time, the World Cup was building up, so I was babbling on about the competition and asked her for her tournament predictions. Turns out she got 3 out of 4 semi-finalists right, compared to one each predicted by the rest of us so-called "football experts".

Once the World Cup actually kicked off, we watched a fair amount of games together in bed (as they all kicked off in the morning, given the time difference). Plus watching games in bed has the added bonus that if the game's dire, you can always come up with alternative forms of entertainment ;) By the end of the tournament, she had her favourite players, would chide teams for wasteful possession or the inability to spot a free team mate etc. etc. much like any football fan would. Things got even better with the European Championships the next year. With games played in the evening, we'd go to our favourite (night) club and watch the matches on the big screen with hundreds of others. The atmosphere created by everyone going "OOooooh" and "Aaaah" at the same time was something she'd never experienced before, and made the whole experience thrilling on a personal level.

She wasn't half as interested in "meaningless" games during the normal season - we might watch the CL final together - but she really liked the whole international aspect of the World Cup/European Championships with people all over the world going completely bananas about something as banal as kicking a ball between two sticks.

Great article, my Dad's taken my mum to St Mary's to watch Southampton a few times when my season ticket's been up for grabs due to holiday, sickness etc but I've never tried to get someone involved who's never been to a game.
I have taken a West Ham-supporting friend of mine to a cup game at Saints.....and now she's converted and coming to the JPT Final with us!
I too have been semi-converted: Saints were always my Dad's team and right from a young kid I can remember Saints towels inthe bathroom, saints mugs in thekitchen, I think my dad even bought me a saints duvet set for my first bed. But having watched a lot of Spurs growing up, they were 'my team'. But, having never actually been to Wihite Hart Lane (or anywhere else for that matter) to watch them, Dad suggested four years ago that we get season tickets for Saints. Right ho, I said.

And I've never looked back!!

It's unfortunate that while some women love the game, or at least don't mind it, others hate it and simply refuse to change their opinion!

I took a girlfriend to Lincoln City vs Aston Villa. It was a pre season friendly but it was a pretty full stadium, floodlights, a full Villa team and a pretty awesome atmosphere! our manager at the time, Peter jackson, compared it to a European night at the end and for those there it certainly felt like it!

It was a good game and all, Lincoln came back from 1-0 down to win 3-1 and everyone in the Co-op stand was having a good time. Apart from one person of course. Laura was thoroughly bored by the end, complaining of cold etc. I think it could have been the 2005 Champions League final and she still would have moaned.

It's a losing battle I'm afraid. I tried, but some people just won't 'get it'.

Dan,

Are you done for the day?

My Dad used to always be on at me for spending all my money on football, saying it was a waste and football was a silly game etc, but when we got Spurs at Ninian Park in the FA Cup a few years ago, the lure of 'a half decent team' led to him wanting to see what all the fuss was about. I had hoped he'd just survey the scene quietly and save any comments for when we got home.

No such luck, he proceeded to declare every tackle to be a 'brutal' and a 'red card' and claim that not keeping quiet while Danny Murphy took a throw in was 'unsporting'. The game was goalless, and just to confirm his suspiscions that I was being led horribly astray by football, someone threw a flare into the Spurs end midway through the second half, the only time this has happened in ten years of watching Cardiff (though obviously I'm not defending it).

The worst part was that he'd, for some reason best known to himself, agreed to take our local newsagent's kid to the game, and turned up with this random boy in tow at the pub before the game. To this day he has no idea why I was so mortified by this. I still get grief from my mates about it, and that was 3 years ago. For all I know, he may well want to go again. However, the chances of me letting him attend on my watch again are slim.

You need to bring them to a Premier League game, like at the Emirates. What else did you expect from games like the one you went to?

Great blog, Dan! Nice try with trying to convert a couple of female, non-fans to the "beautiful game", but you didn't have much to work with, considering the game options available, etc.

I've tried in the past, but could only be bothering explaining what's happening during a game that I don't have much vested in, which likely means it ends up being a boring game, unless it's a Euro Championship or World Cup game, so it's a not an easy task. Kudos for trying, though!

As for my top crisps ... well, being in Canada, I dearly miss so many different types of crisps and I also miss the smaller bags (they all come in big bags over here, so you don't really "snack" on them, but "gorge"). I find that I miss them so much, it's a little worrying. Last week I dreamt that I was shopping in a huge warehouse full of my favourite British crisps. Sadly, I woke up before eating some of the following top crisps:

- Pickled Onion Monster Munch
- Quavers
- Skips -- love the way they melt in your mouth (haven't seen prawn cocktail selected in anyone's favourites yet - this flavour doesn't even exist over here!)
- Wossits (sp?) the cheese and beef flavours were excellent.
- Hula Hoops (pretty much any flavour does the job).
- Chip Sticks
- Salt and Vinegar Discos
- Salt and Vinegar Ruffles (could get them here up until a little while ago, but then they mysteriously disappeared).
- Bacon Wheat Crunchies (very wholesome)

I could go on, but it's just torturous. Other oddities - Cheese and Onion ... a popular flavour in the UK, but doesn't even exist in Canada. They do have a flavour over here though, that was new to me ... All Dressed. It's not bad ... in case you're wondering, it's pretty much supposed to be all flavours of crisps combined.

I can remember when I was a kid, going to the pub with my family and getting my dad to get a packet of crisps for me ... I absolutely hated Ready Salted and one time, that was the only flavour they had, so that's what he got me. To disguise the taste, I splashed lashings of the malt vinegar that was on the table into the bag and shook the bag up to give the crisps a good coating. Verdict: it wasn't bad. Better than Ready Salted, but an interesting experience, once I got past the whole soggy crisps factor.

Also, does anyone remember, I think back in the 80s, when Smith's crisps sold bags of plain crisps with the flavouring in a little pouch in the bag for you to add yourself? Nice idea, but it didn't work very well, as some crisps ended up getting heavily coated and some not ... it presented a rather unpleasant experience - an explosion of intense flavour, followed by a bland affair.

Fabrizio Ravanelli

91,

That's hilarious. Reminds me of the time I took the missus to Barnsley hosting Chelsea in March 2008 at Oakwell. I turned up in my Brian Howard kit, who was the hero against Liverpool with that stunning left-footer from 21 yards out in stoppage time. She insisted on wearing a dress and heels on the grounds that we had 'executive' seats. I corrected the problem by buying her a Barnsley shirt.

Incidentally, it was you, Cardiff, who knocked us out, wasn't it? How old was this random boy may I ask? And why were you so mortified? Just curious. There are some people one just cannot take to a pub without being mortified. As for my introduction to the game, it was the opposite of yours. My father's brother-in-law got a trial at Barnsley, and we traveled to York on the North East Express from London. I couldn't have been more than 6 years of age at the time. I fell in love with the game that very day, and to this day still support both Arsenal (4th generation of Arsenal supporters in my family) and keep an eye on Barnsley in fond memory of that trip to Oakwell, which turned out to be a longer distance from the York central station than my father had calculated, which was the only drawback.

85. At 4:31pm on 11 Mar 2010, Sausage Arms wrote:
Hang on a minute...I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING USEFUL TO OFFER TO THIS BLOG.

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That's not stopped a lot of people in the past, to be honest...

Anyway, I took my wife to Old Trafford two seasons ago to watch Man United v Fulham. We (United) won 2-0 with a brace from Ronaldo in what was a decent but not spectacular game. I asked her at half-time what she was making of it and it emerged that she had spent most of the half just people-watching... not exactly enthralled then. After that, the 2 hours it took to get home (on a 45 minute journey) was the final nail in the coffin. I think we both came away thinking, "Well, I tried, but it just didn't work out..."

Wheat Crunchies are an excellent shout. For posh crisps I really recommend the Roast Chicken and Thyme Sensations; very nice! As for cheese puffs, I've seen people play an "interesting" team game where one member of each team has their face covered in shaving foam and the rest of the members have to throw Wotsits at him; the most Wotsits on the face after 2 minutes wins. Messy, but great fun!

William Prunier

Check out post 81... This a footie/foodie blog not blind date!

Tried and failed to initiate the missus to the beautiful game - Women's FA cup final a few years back, Arsenal vs Leeds at the Den.. Even a wonder-goal from Rachel Yankey couldn't hold the interest.

Also tried to run an experiment to find the perfect pint/bar snack combination. Unfortunately we were a touch too vigorous in our validation, and all I can remember is that chip shop curry crisps don't go well with bitter.....

Keith Stevens

Why is there a traffic jam on Phil's blog whilst Dan's is a slow train? Dan, can you help Phil out over there?

Girls...go figure

It reminds me of trying to get a kid interested in fishing. If they catch fish the firat time out, they're hooked (pardon the pun). However if they sit in the boat or on the shore for a couple of hours without catching anything, they get bored.

Goals are the fish that holds the interest

The girls would fit in perfectly as fans at Old Trafford - no interest in Man Utd or football is required and you won't get any chanting or strong language unless from the dug outs. They also now get a choice of colours to wear if they don't like the red and white, and they can join in the ownership soap opera that is currently being carefully written :D

Of course, I wrote all of this in stereotypical jest.

On a different note - I wonder if there is a difference between the following:
1. A billionaire buying a club and spending 100s of millions to make it succesful;
2. A number of wealthy donors investing 100s of millions to pay back a debt so that the club can continue to florish.

Looks like the same thing to me.