Wow Chris, Its a big book.

Hey, doesn't your Mummy look so sweet!!

DtM x

Wow, it is a big book, at my rate of reading it'll take me a year!

Hope you signed it for her!

Quite agree about the GP yesterday, reminded me of the old US Champ car series where they just trooped around for a couple of hours, normally behind the safety car, no wonder the series got cancelled :o) Still back to Suzuka next week, and they can pass there!

JG x

Deevs,
Thanks for the explanation. Doh!
Thunder

A repeat of bits of my post on the previous blog....

CLP, I am not impressed. Big plan to see you at the Cheltenham Literature Festival on Oct 17th. Clashes with granddaughters first birthday so had to check if that was OK. 24 hours later, having got permission, tickets had sold out!!

No fair!

Top Bird Minnie, hurrah that's exACtly as it should be. Just think. All us who've ever tittered, snorted an' sniggered at your exploits over the years, we owe it all to Minnie.

Watch out for that ring hand though, CLP. You're not too big for a slap, I'm guessin', so if there's any bad language in there I'll be bracin' meself for yous.

A fierce sore thing, the weddin' ring round the back a the ear. Ow.

Clodagh.xx

PS. The passin' lane. Listen. Get yourself over the Irish Sea and try the N4 to Galway on a Friday behind the Knocknilly Donkey Rally, upturned wheelbarrows and the ubiquitous gang of eejits starin' at 'em, and a selection of farmers starin' into the fields as they meander along in the 1978 Mercedes; and with the added distraction of the roadsigns remindin' yous how many deaths they've celebrated on the roads of County Athlone. It's a skill.

xx

Ey DtM.

Don't be fooled. If Minnie is owt like Renee, she will be a dangerous psychopath masqueradin' as a sweet, funny and harmless little old lady.

That ring hand... ow ow ow.

Clodagh.xx

Awwww Chris, Mummy E looks well engrossed in your tome - and perhaps a wee bit shocked: what have you revealed to give her that expression?!?

I used to love F1 (the Senna years) but now, for me, it's lost its vava voom (see what I did there?!). Can I suggest you try 2 wheels: give MotoGP a go, or even betterererer try one of the support classes to MotoGP - the 125cc or 250cc races are usually fantastic - and there's British interest in the 125's with Bradley Smith, Scott Redding and Danny Webb (you've even had Bradley and Scott in the locker, I recall).

Nobody does it better than Valentino Rossi though. The man is a genius on 2 wheels and a fantastic ambassador and jollky good geezer off the track too!

Then there's the British Superbikes and the World Superbikes, the Supersports, sidecars - all good stuff!

Gwon - give it a try. You might enjoy it!

Have a grand day.

Deevs
x x x

Morning CLP

No, it isn't you! We are/were avid fans of F1, but even though we were out for lunch, we didn't bother to record it. A first in our house. As you say why have a circuit where you can't overtake - MADNESS!!

Anyhoo...

What a great photo and what a big book. I won't be able to read it till (insert C word here) as it's on my list to Santa!

Gingembre, very well done, what an inspiration you are. Hope you're not too sore this morning.

Hello to everyone else

A tad overcast here today, but mustn't grumble after having the most beautiful weekend weather for late September.

Pen xx

I'd definitely give the first copy of my book to my Mum - that is if I wrote one and got published lol. I think I'd have to write a crime novel a la Kathy Reichs, Michael Jecks or Ian Rankin - then again my Mum might read it just because I wrote it lol. (She read my dissertation two years ago and I don't think she's got over that and that was about Shakespeare!)

So now I just need your book and The Lost Symbol on a bogof offer or something like that then my hubby wont freak out that I've bought MORE books!

Morning All - Where did the sun go???

That's a big one Christoph !!!(book). Isn't your mum a sweetie - hope the reading didn't make her hair curl.

Must admit even I was a bit distracted watching the F1 yesterday - I am normally glued to my seat. Didn't one of the guys say it was like watching a scalextrix (sp) track -well he was right !!

Beezer xx

Morning all

Bit grey darn Essex today or maybe that's just my mind. Feels like that's full of cobwebs too, just like the garden

Chris, thanks for the picture. Made me realise how quickly 1st October is coming up. Have just paddled my canoe up the BIG river to order your book. Funny how things fall into your basket when you do that. Jamie's American Book just happened to end up on my order - well, gotta support the locals.

I wonder how you are feeling now your book is about to be read by so many people. Any news on any signings in London? Can't find any info

Hope all you bloggers are having a good Monday

Laters

Seza xxx

Seza

London??? We've got a Waterstones in Coooooooooooooolchester - mefinx Mr CLP should come dahn to Essex and sample some of our culture!!

Ha!

Deevs
x x x

morning all, hope you're well?

Haven't watched F1 for years now, too boring. Just look out for the result and wish the Brit boys good luck.
Lovin' the pic of MrsE senior, book looks nice and thick.

Chris - before I buy it this week - are you doing any book signings over this way? I'd rather buy one that way and meet you (might even bring the boot along?) than get one online!

Sun'out again, been into city to pay in sponsor monies collected in person, coffee's a plenty today, work later this evening.

bonnet de douche

KWx

ps - Clodagh xxx
(and you're right, MrsW is amazing)

Oh Clodagh, I have indeed travelled the N4, a trip and a half that day!

All the way from South Wales to Anglesea, and then from Dublin to beyond Galway, a small place called Lettermore - it took all day and most of the night!

The sights we saw along the way.....

The only place worse for passing lanes was in Greece, from Athens to the Pelopenese! And that was apparently supposed to be a motorway toll-road!

JG x

PS It's just started raining here!

Morning All,

Chris......That's a big book, I'll have to get into training to read that in bed!!!!!!

Move minus 7 days...........and still not much packed.........help!!

ebx

Here comes the sun................yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pen xx

Deevs. You're right of course. Told you brain not working

So Chris, come darn Essex please! Coooooolchester is good or even Chelmsford (we won't have to raid bank to pay parking then)

Pen, any sun to spare yet? V grey here today

Methinks could be quiet on this here blog this weekend, just the gentle rustle of turning pages & giggles from your readers.

Seza xxx

Greetings Ter ALL.............

Bingo Star ere......

Just a quickie az busy at work.....

CLP - A agree on the GP.... silly circwit.... and a mean cirwit italian style.... az yer wreet... yer can't pass.... MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fisi - Shame 'is Ferrari glory ain't lookin' like it's gonna 'appen.... F1 az gone MAD like the rest of the world!!!!!!

CLP/ CLP's long suffering mother.... can a just say a see yer loook like yer mum CLP!!!!!!!!!!!!
My goodnesss though..... a bet she's 'ad ter put with alot of stress!!!!!!!!!

Az for the boook..... it loooks very nice and a take it... it's 'eat proof az it's noot melted yet at yer mum's 'ouse!!!!!!
(for bloggers who don't know what am on about.... CLP's mum like mine 'as 'er 'eat full on and all the windows shut... just like mine... even in the middle of summer!!!!!!)

PS CLP - 1st of Oct.... The BIG Boook launch.... gettin' closer.... a take it there will be an Oxford Street Waterstones signing gig!!!!!

Gotta go.......... GOURANGA TER ALL MUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soz a meant 'a bet she's 'ad ter put up with alot of stress' noot 'a bet she's 'ad ter put with a lot of stress'.... although if she's a keen golfer.... maybe she 'as putted with a lot of stress - know what am sayin'!!!!!

Soz am getting confused know, sorry now!!!!!!!

PS Nearly goot #22 but ended up with #20 & #21.... just by chance!!!!!

Chris

As a sporting contest F1 is more akin to WWE wrestling than anything else.

It doesn't seem to matter on which circuit it takes place as the off track corruption and cheating make the races completely meaningless.

As for the overtaking, I caught a bit of one race on the radio and the gist of it seemed to be that due to the pit stop strategies of the different teams a car could be in effect 'racing' against another car that was the best part of a lap behind. How this can claim to be a spectator sport is beyond me.

In fact how can anything which relies on whose has the best tyres, aerodynamics, gearboxes etc really call itself a sport?

Hi Chris,

Your book looks good in your mum's hands!

I also have to agree with you about the F1 yesterday, I missed the race but watched the highlights and although I was happy with the result I found the race was dull and was disappointed again which seems to be happening more and more at the moment. I look forward to each race weekend only to be disappointed by a dull race! It's not like when I 1st got into F1 back in the late early 90s.
Still I'll be up at a stupid time next weekend to watch the Japanese Grand Prix!

So did everyone have a good weekend? Seems to have gone in a flash again!

Well I'm off to get my little one from pre-school having wasted another morning and done no housework :-(

Happy Monday everyone

MCM xx

Chris did you say whilst giving the book to your mum, this is no minor thing I do Minnie!? (Sorry about that).

I’ve noticed no one has mentioned Saturdays Telegraph? Well it made up for the boring GP for me. I too feel exactly like Chris, you look forward to the next GP, enjoy the build up and grid walk, (oh the good life), hope there will be a pile-up on the first bend and then a good dose of rain to spice it up! But more often than not, ten minutes in and I’ve lost interest as all the cars follow the one in front. I can’t believe so many millions are involved in something that is controlled by just two people, Max and Bernie and can be sooo dull. The Singapore circuit is fencing and wall, fencing and wall yet the picturesque Austrian circuit was dropped, I’m sure it’s all to do with money and advertising, not what the punter wants to watch? As I understand Bernie doesn’t get on with the British Racing Drivers' Club (or BRDC) who run Silverstone, so he drops that circuit too!!! Oh well, that’s business for you who said it was a sport? Bring back Sterling…

Have a nice day everyone.



mj x

Morning Chris

I read an excerpt of your new book and have to say I was hooked. Will be purchasing that to read asap. Which will mean I now have 3 books on the go!

Hope you all had a good weekend, it went far too quickly didn't it.

NM

Chris,

F1 used to be watchable but now it's just d-u-l-l. I would rather watch paint dry. Book is on the C. present list though.
Back from me hols today - Crete - rained on the last day - not glad to be back!
Happy Mondays!

Nic

PPPPPS CLP - Also wanted ter add on F1... Also if a driver does say 'wreet am gonna force me past this guy in front'.... if it's regarded az too aggressive..... they getta penalty.... so even if a brave determined driver takes 'is car by the scruff of the neck and does pass..... 'e gets penalised.... yet at the same time the F1 management are involved on sex sandles, cheating and arguing ter the point were they are all threatening ter start a break away 2nd F1 series... WORLD's GONE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS Don't even get me started on politics... been refraining from getting political on the blog az it depresses me... but a can feel things bubbling up inside... aka Iran being allowed ter develop nuclear weapons.... why are we sittting back and allowing them too... errr.... plus the two female pc who will be prosecuted if they mind each other children.... am off before a go ape!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's all too much for me mind all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good morning all.

Nice photo of Mrs E Chris ,book time getting closer.

Nice day here now on the south coast was overcast earlier but sunny now .

Thunder ,nice to see someone else asking what ELH stands for ,I had to ask along with lots of other ones too. xx.

Last day of my holiday today ,back to the grind tomorrow .

take care all and enjoy the rest of your day .

Bridge .xxx.

Seza, I would send you some sun, but it's now gawn behind a big grey cloud!!

F1 - Send Brundle back to ITV along with some of his inane comments and bring back Murray!!

Pen xx

Blimey CLP, you don't arf look like your mam!!!

Not sure if anyone saw the Cliff programme on Saturday but he's certainly had a bee in his bonnet about you Christophe. How's about, now that you've mellowed with age, that you have a campaign to boost his annual attempt at the Xmas no 1 up the charts? (I'm no big Cliff fan, but it only seems right!!) I know we'll all want Terry/Aled to hit the top but it would be nice if Cliff got 2nd eh?

xx

Penny I totally agree with you about Brundle, Murray was brilliant, he waasn't afraid to say what he thought or show his emotions.

Afternoon all,

Day 11 of grey skies , not a chink of blue to be seen, just nuffin but grey .

Mc ;-(((

Morning chris

no it's not you I'm a f1 fan & also look forward to race weekends but they could have stopped for cup of tea .. We had the wedding of the year

@ sendish manor still feeling a bit hung over
anyway my freind how was mum , & the family
have a good show

Love to tash !& Noah

Stewart the Chauffer

Afternoon,

Chris, Good to see that your Mum has the first peek, I hope she is enjoying it. Did you know that on Thursday there are 800 new books being published! The good news for you is that I won't be buying 799 of them!

Can't comment on F1 as never watched and never likely too - each to their own.

Just a few things to comment on from the weekend, that I can remember!

Crumpy, I too was in my PJs ready for Strictly on Saturday night, glad it wasn't just me - also Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is one of my fav films.

JG, I used to rub my Mums gold wedding ring on my styes (sp) when I was little, it always worked.

Bridge, Welcome back glad you had a good time.

MFT, {{{{{HUG}}}}} xxx

Debs, Hope the ankle is better xx

Gingembre, Well done xxx

MtV, I think it's just you and me who read the Telegraph. Good article about Chris though and some nice photos.

Sorry that's all I can remember!

How's this for a waste of time? I had to go to Croydon this morning to shown someone my passport, they then had to verify that it was really me and take a photocopy of it. Took all of 2 minutes for a 2 and three quarter hour round trip - grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

AliB
xx

Afternoon groovy gang

Can I ask your advice please ...... ta!

Remembererer I booked theatre tix for me and im for the end of December, well we (me, actually!) thought it would be nice to go to a proper restaurant in London on the day either for lunch or a pre-theatre early dinner.

Now, we've done The Ivy a couple of times and Sheeky's - have any of you been to Jamie Oliver's, or Marcus Wareings or Angela Hartnett's or John Torode's restaurants.

Any advice / recommendations muchos received - either on 'ere on Faceache.

Ta very muchly.

Deevs
x x x

Aww lovely pic CLP. Has she the full version there though or has she her own special edition with the juicy bits missed out?

I don't watch F1 so can't comment, it's not really my 'cup of tea'

Having a very productive day at work so far....on my own today and just felt like popping in here for a bit of company.

Off to pick LM up from school later, looking forward to an afternoon at home today.

Debbie x

MC - I'm thinking of investing in one of those "sunshine" lamps! It's too soon to getting the winter blues!

JG x

Arternoon - slow blog day today - took me all of two minutes to catch up!
We had about 10 minutes sun and now it gawn and done a bunk again. Just watched the forecast for the week-end - going cold - brrrrrrrrrrrr.

Can't help on the eateries Deev - wouldn't have a clue.

Beezer xx

peas - mtv & Ali - I read the article in the t'graph mag on Saturday - that's 3 of us read it !!! Agree - nice pics.

Ewwww! I've just been crawling around under my desk fiddling with wires and stuff - s'filthy down there!

Deevs
xxx

Mrs E snr. looks well engrossed in your book, what a proud moment for her.

Like JG and MC I too am fed up with wall to wall grey skies, its drizzling well also. Yuk.

So to cheer us up:

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-Through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1 - Drive up to the cash machine
2 - Put down your car window
3 - Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4 - Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5 - Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6 - Put window up
7 - Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1 - Drive up to the cash machine
2 - Reverse and back up, pull forward, back up and so forth and repeat as many times as required to align the car window with the ATM machine
3 - Set parking brake and put the window down
4 - Find handbag, remove all contents onto the passenger seat to locate bank card
5 - Tell person on the mobile phone you will call them back and hang up
6 - Attempt to insert card into the machine
7 - Open the car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
8 - Insert card
9 - Re-insert the card the right way with the magnetic strip pointing the way the little picture indicates
10- Dig through handbag and examine every receipt to see if PIN# is written there. Finally, search through your address book to find the PIN written inside the back page
11- Enter PIN into the ATM machine
12- Press cancel and re-enter the correct PIN
13- Enter the amount of cash required
14- Check make up in rear view mirror
15- Retireve cash and receipt
16- Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17- Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in the back of the chequebook
18- Re-check make up
19- Drive 2 feet forward
20- Reverse back to cash machine
21- Retrieve card
22- Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23- Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you
24- Restart stalled engine and pull off
25- Redial person on mobile phone
26- Drive for 2 or 3 miles
27- Release parking brake

This really made me chuckle, hope you all enjoy it too!
Daisy x

Deevs did you find anything under your desk? Last time I ventured under my desk I found a bar of choc that had slipped out of my drawer and it was still good :-)

MCM xx

IT's made me laugh Daisy :-)

Afternoon each

Hope all is well in the world of each and every one of you.

Good to see MumEe with the book Chris...bet she's right proud of her boy.

Had 40 winks watching the GP and woke to get the result - shows how gripping it was! Great that our local boy JB is still ont op. Don't think I'll be getting up with the birdies next weekend.

Deev - If Jamie's is anything like the Oxford brach, I would give it a miss. Bit of a school dinners type of place up here. However, the food is wholesome, but compared to what you, me and other blogger cooks dish up it's nothing spesh. Can't comment on others. Am in town tomorrow for an AGM (will snooze through most of it!)will keep an eye out for anywhere that looks cool.

Back in a bit - got yet another Uni open day to book for GD. So far we've got every weekend in October sorted!

Steffi xxx

DayDreamingDaisy #41 - BIG LOL from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!!@!@@!@!@!@!@@!@!

Gingembre - 'ope the charitheee run went well on Sundee and yer goot yer good time and even if noot yer 'ad a good time any way - know what am sayin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aye and even if yer come Sundee morning said..... 'bu**er this, it's all too much for me knees.... am off ter the pub instead!!!!!'
It's ok yer can keep my bit terwards the very good cause!!!! Joking off course.... about the pub bit!!!!!

ALL - A 'ope all 'ad a most good weekend.... a didn't..... ave suddenly 'ad an ex-girlfriend troubling me mind...... don't know why butta think it might ave been Chezza Tweedy/ Cole's dark eyes on The X Gig brought it all back.....
Basically me and me ex.... there wazza strong spark between uz..... yeah.... she ran off with a body building electrician!!!!!!!!!

Bye!

Brilliant Daisy !!! On the other hand - parking near the bank in our town today.......

Go round three times before a space becomes available - see a car pulling out - let it out - screech to a halt - reverse in - lock car - out !!! Wrinkly parked in car behind looking horrified!! No idea why !!

Queue in bank for 10 mins - back out - in car - reverse toward wrinkly - out and head back to office which involves going round a roundabout and back the way I came.

Couldn't believe my eyes - said wrinkly had pulled his car forward and was parked in the middle of where we were both parked seconds ago !!! Man of course !!!!!

Beezer xx

Ave just sent Wrigtie an e-mail with abitta advice and complimentations on 'is most friendly shoe, sorry show.... it reads >>>>>

'BINGO STAR ERE - WRIGHTIE..... A DON'T NOW, SORRY KNOW, 'OW YOU DO IT PAL...... BUT ALL A DO NOW, SORRY KNOW, IZ YER DO DO IT.... AND VERY WELL!!!!!!! A most friendly show terdee... so far - Don't bu**er up the last 'our friend!!!!!!!!!'‏

Gingembre - Just sawed yer blog from yesterdee..... Well Done Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!
I 'our and 1 minute a great time & lgad the knees 'eld up ok!!!!!!!

PS 'ope yer never end up chasing me when yer on duty!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

Chow!

Afternoon Chris, What a lovely picture of your Mum,she looks really well. Hope you signed her copy for her.
love to all.x
.

afternoon everyone

Nearly made it to the end of Monday. Only 1 music lesson to listen to & 1 hours jazzercise to endure, I mean enjoy! that's if i don't fall asleep

Didn't realise 1st October was coming up so quick. Really looking forward to reading Chris's book. One of those things where it seems like he only said a minute ago it was coming out yet we've been waiting ages for it.

How's it going for you guys?

Seza xxx

PS am worried. There is an episode of tracey Beaker on that i've never seen. Parents who are regularly subjected to CBBC will know how rare that is!!

CLP - Ave just 'eard yer say after the Morrison tune terneet.... We ALL ave goot a friend in you.... Fancy a game of golf next week then???????

Litening Man tune by The Bees.... one of me all time fav tunes.... MEGA BASS LINE!!!!!!!!!
A tune i'd defo wanter cover if a ever became a music performer/ producer!!!!!!!!!!! (Noot that that will ever 'appen!!!!!)

Bye yet again!!!!

Hi all

T'is quiet isn't it?

Have just got in and need to do some sewing/mending....I am USELESS at that sort of thing, but need to somehow get the end of a tie up thing on my work tousers back where it belongs and secure it!!

Wish me luck!

Will report back later if my fingers are in one piece, you'll probably hear the bad language anyway!

JG x

JG - I was hemming some dark brown trousers yesterday and has to keep leaning towards the window coz I couldn't see where I was stitching!

Old age and failing eyesight is a bitch.

Crumpy x

If you're all bored by the processional dull and boring F1, then why don't you watch the far more exciting British Superbikes with loads of overtaking and exchange of paint and clashing of fairings... you'd never bother with F1 again after watching the bikes!!!!

PS to my last message:: Not forgetting the sidecars that are also brilliant to watch.... the current World Champions, Ben and Tom Birchall are British!

Hiya

Sorry, can't remember who mentioned it but have read the Telegraph article. Enjoyed it a lot. I think it's funny that the "oh no the world is ending Chris Evans is taking over the breafast show Abandon the country" articles seem to have died down a bit & there is a bit more balance coming over.

Just had a shock, clicked on the blue Bingo Star above his post & got all Bingo's post up. Wall to wall Bingo needs a bit of preparing for! lol

Seza xxxx

Sylvia - here here!!!

Deevs
xx

I like the bikes, and have even been to the BSB a few years ago at Oulton Park, but the journey there and back, and the fact that I'm so stoopid I can't tell who's who, even though I've watched it on TV the week before, put me off!

Have never done the Moto GP at Donington with Mr JG, as he is a jinx on the weather!

Crumpy, I have to take my glasses off to thread the needle and have to have the big light on to sew anything!(Oooh, sounds a bit Peter Kay)!!!

Have survived though, but whether it will hold is another story!!

Have also ironed them, which is another pet hate

Oh, and well done Bingo, for keeping the blog going today!!

JG x

Evenings alls!

you know where I is - and if my name isnt whatsis name Fish - red sky at night will be jolly nice tomozz if the firey red sky is anything to go by - Deevs, Seza, Debbie C - put your washing out tomoz - gonna be a scorchy one! Taken a couple of pics on phone to join in the sky at dusk club of the norvern ladies on FB!

TORN TORN TORN! - no not natalie whatsits, but do I buy CLPs book on Thursday or wait a week and day to get the big man himself to sign it when me and tiggs stake him out in Briss????????

oh dear!

Nowt for it - best go order me sausage and mash......

later lovelies!

debs
x

PS thanks for the enquiries about me ankle - nice and blue but being a big brave girl soldier

PPS - Daisy - you are a card - I love that joke!

Half hour ago the most beautiful red sky here too!!!

Pen xx

Just a quickie to say well done KW for yesterday. What a time too! Hope the knees are still working.

x x
P.S. I'm with Dan, Mrs E looks lovely....like all mums & nans should look.

JG - I also have to have the big light on if sewing at night....and talking of Mr Kay, I found this 'funny' I was sent by a friend - entitled "Peter Kay's Universal Truths"
Not sure if it is the murmerings of the great man, but very funny, nonetheless!

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5)Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008
into a calculator
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have
a fire in your back garden
9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
11 Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
13) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad
17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first opportunity
18) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
>through and then raced against the flush.
19) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
20) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
21) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
22) You never ever run out of salt.
23) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
24) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
25) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've
got your hand or head stuck in something
26) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
27) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had
their arm broken by a swan
28) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping
on an upturned plug
29) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
30) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
wood specifically to stir paint with
31) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
32) Bricks are horrible to carry.
33) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
34) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad

I thang yew!!

Ah JG don't TALK to me about the short-arm syndrome whilst sewin'.

All those years behind a hot sewin' machine and sketch-pad, and never a problem with the eyesight. I could thread a needle in the dark at 20 paces and stood on me head. Now I've to wear the bottle-bottom glasses or assume the Robin Hood position. Without the apple to aim at. Ah no, that was William Tell wasn't it. Ey, didn't 'e get 'is son to stand with said apple on 'is head? Hurrah, am off to find me bow and arrow with the suckers on and a large Granny Smith, and drop in at the GD's to see if she's recovered from the "travel-sickness".

Bless her. All this whingein' our CLP is doin' about 'is broken ribs has brought it all back. Whilst still bakin', as it were, and almost done, the GD gave me severely bruised ribs on the inside, it was excrutiating. And no wonder, what with her weighin' in at almost 9lbs and with my statuesque 5ft. frame. Talk about It Hurts When I Laugh. Couldn't laugh, sneeze or sit up straight, by the crin. And she's still bruisin' me ribs 29 years on, but that's with laffin', so I'd say it was well worth the pain.

Bruised ribs. Huh. Yous chaps don't know you're born, hahahaha!

Clodagh.xx

Hahahahahahahahaha Crumpy!!

Peter Kay. My kinda man, yous can keep David Beckham.

Clodagh.xx

Motor Sport - a misnomer if ever there was one.

so many of those are scarily true!

C x

Crumpy, so funny, and so very many are true!!

Clodagh, was about to stick the sewing needle somewhere you can imagine if he didn't stop mentioning tea when I was trying to do that fixing and ironing!!

Hmmph, the northern male is a special breed, but they nearly lost one of their own tonight!

JG x

JG, hohoho, yes I can imagine, sunshine. Don't yous just love the chaps. Well, at least, I do. Just don't want to own one, that's all. Am still lookin' for one that fills my criteria, namely Big and Daft and Lifts Heavy Things.

Clodagh.xx

Well, guess who's back in circulation?

Yes indeed friends, the intrepid explorer returns.

And boy did we have a trip.

I could quite easily place a handful of the places we saw straight into a top ten 'places you have to see before you snuff it' list.

I won't go into a stack of detail now, you are probably having your tea and I am on the brink of total mental and physical meltdown having had about six or seven hours sleep since Thursday. I kid you not.

If I am still alive at the weekend I might scribble a few tales for you, but in summary - the north rim of the Grand Canyon is a thousand times a better experience than the touristy south rim, Lake Powell is a strange place in that it is man-made, but simply beautiful, and Zion, Zion, Zion. No, I am not getting all Bob Marley on you, simply trying to express how we felt about Zion National Park. Incredible. I urge you to pack your walking boots and head straight there. Even if hiking isn't your thing, you will love this place (although it does help because the trails our superb).

The truck. Or the magic bus, as it became known.

Confession time. After three nights in it we got yearnings for a warm shower that you could stand under for half an hour, fluffy towels, a king-size bed and room service. So we checked in a hotel. Only for one night, then we felt guilty about leaving the bus all on its lonesome in the car park, and we did kind of miss it, so we jumped straight back in and headed to Monument Valley. If you are on facecloth you can see one of my piccies of me there. Awesome (you can say that because it is America). A couple more nights in the bus, a drive through a spectacular but scary Utah mountain storm, and it was hotel time again. The 'few days on', 'few days off' thing seemed to work for us. A bit of a kop out? Maybe, but we tried.

And then pure luxury and excess in good old Sin City, stopping on the way, after a 300 mile detour, in Rachel, Nevada. This was a place that I have had a strange calling to go to for years. Look it up, it is basically a tiny town - barely that really - but it is slap bang next to a place commonly known as Area 51. Conspiracy theorists among you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Then the long journey home. With no sleep. Or any since.

So there I must leave you. Hopefully to drift away into dreamsville, but more likely to toss and turn for the next few hours and get up looking even more like Herman Munster than I do already.

Peace + love

MfR

Evening all,

DDD that made me laugh, thanks , and Crumpy, ooooh how i can relate to loads on that list too.

JG, i turn the telly off when the weather comes on, then its a total surprise in the morning. After 11 straight greys , its now getting to me .

MFR, hiya and welcome home, you seem to have been gone ages. Looking forward to your news , get a good nights sleep ,and then get blogging.

MC x

Matt, please, more photos and more details...please!

Clodagh, I just want one what deals with spiders and carries glasses and heavy stuff (like wot I can't throw) down the stairs!!

I wouldn't mind, but he didn't even want any tea!! He'd had his at the chippy!

JG x

Oooh Matt now yous have me in a MAD jealous rage.

Did yous stand on the glass platform? Now THAT's on me 10 things to do before I pop me clogs. Right at the top, along with wing-walkin'.

Mind you I won't be wearin' the sticky-outy skirt.

Clodagh.xx

Oh, Ooops!! Welcome home BTW! Hope you can get over the jet-lag soon!

JG x

Evening.....

Bloomin'eck!

One dull race and it's no longer a sport
A few controversies (sp?) and everyone's a cheat

Well - I love F1 and accept that it has it's flaws (or Bernie Ecclstone as it's better known) but there has been plenty of excitement this year with proper over taking for those that love the racing and plenty of smashes for the wierdos that watch it for that.

The attraction for me and my addicted 6 year old son - is not just the racing. It's the whole circus - from the management through the pit lane celebrities right down to the gossip and tittle tattle on the fringes.

I think that the huge amounts of money that it both costs and generates coupled to the exclusive nature of it drive people away but again that doesn't bother me.

I have tried to get into the bikes, but it's a different culture and doesn't give me the same thrill as watching the cars which are more than just machines. They are so far ahead of all the other motorsports in terms of engineering and technology and are generally the starting points for the safety devices and gizmos we all now have in our own cars.

Anyway - there is cheating in all sports and I can't bare to watch football for the same reasons most of the complainants today can't stand F1....has there never been a dull football match?
This doesn't mean that I don't think it's a sport!!!

Finally - Murray Walker left about two years to late, he was great to listen to but started constantly making mistakes and making less sense than me.
Brundle gives great insight into the cars, circuits and drivers - it's the other muppet that I can't cope with.

Anyhoo - just my tuppenceworth!

You can all wake up again now

Rips

x

Evening one and all, hope this finds you well this Monday evening...

CLP looks like another book to go on my wishlist, along with the new Phillipa Gregory and a couple of cookery books!

Welcome home MfR, sounds like you had an awesome time on your adventure, can't wait to hear more.

Well done Gingembre for completing your run in one piece! Hope the knees didn't complain too much.

Can't really comment on F1 as I never watch it, aparet from adding to the general concensus that it's a bit dull. Give me rugby any day...lots of strapping men running around in shorts!

Rx

Clodagh - #68

Check
Check
Check

Kerrching!!!!!

What d'ya want lifting?

G-Rips

x

Hiyya Guys .....

hey CLP i would loooove to have a copy to read!!!!

cant wait to get hands on one and read it!!!!!

hows everyone today???

love Billie xxx

Rips, I agree with you, nothing will stop me watching F1, or going to another race, here or overseas...we both love it, and met through it!

I didn't like the bikes, but will watch them if they don't clash, but I am a car person.

But even the most die-hard fan will have found it hard to find anything exciting in the last race, and actually, the most die-hard fan will have seen through the false excitement that the commentators try to build into it, as we normally have a better idea of what's going on than they do!

I do like Martin Brundle, and I think he's been limited by the lack of knowledge of his recent co-commentators! Murray was brilliant, but his time was up a long time ago!

Maybe I should be posting this on 606....but, having watched BTCC, NASCAR, IRL, WTCC and the old Champ Car series over a long time, what BBC and ITV have done with F1 is fantastic, and the only thing I have against BBC over ITV is that there are no adverts to let me have a fag-break!

JG x

Hahaha Rips bless you!!

Answer- my spirits to start with; and yous all do that in bucketloads.

Well..most of yous....

In fact, what with yourself and our Ginge and your devotion to your little ones, you restore my faith in mankind amidst what can be a cruel and uncaring aul world.

Thankyou sunshine.

Clodagh.xx

Right, Waking the Dead..trevor eve...mmmm

JG x

Indeed JG. I'm rather partial meself to Trevor Eve in Wettin' The Bed.

Wasn't fond of him in Shoestring, mind. What's all that about.

A bit like I'd a jumped all over Kevin Costner in JFK but in Robin Hood.. ew no, heeby-jeebys.

Clodagh.xx

humfy xxx

nahh!!! Trevor eve is cute !!! yes i give you that but the best looking man is David Boreanz .. Aka Seely Booth in Bones .. yummmy yumm yumm!!!

xxx

Clodagh - what you just said could only have been made more lovely - by it not having been preceded by me propositioning you - Ho Hum!
I will make it another one of my To-do items, to get you wing walking.
I quite fancy the idea myself....so just another 39,001 items to get through and you're wing walking.

JG - don't you start the gossip mongers going....we certainly did not meet through F1...lol

Rips

x

looks like im not invited to the bloggy chat today :(

Will to get going returning -Why do folk want quotes emailed/posted (can't see point of latter with the strikes)from 4 onwards!!

MATT - woo hoo saw pic on fb and thought you would be there a while yet. Hope to hear loads more stories and loads more pics. For now though - have a good kip!

P Kay one of those bringing out one of the 800 books in October I think!!! Crumpy.

Rips/JG - even I was fidgeting during F1 - tis the only time Mr B goes off in a huff to make his own lunch cos I don't budge but I sooooo agree about that "other" commentator ! Who the heck is he anyway?

Back in a bit Waking the dead getting more watchable - to be continued.......

Beezer xx

Ah Rips don't be frettin'. I might be a bit nuts but I surely know what to take seriously and what's said in jest.

Mind you I'll ake yous up on that wing-walkin'. What a wheeze.

I'll bring the outfits, hurrah!!!

Clodagh.xx

yep im not invited !!! :(

Howya Billie, course you are hun.

Ew WtD's heatin' up a bit... look behind yer!!

C.xx

Hi Billie,

No-one is ever invited, but everyone is welcome.
Your goodself included.

How are you?

Rips
x

Hope you are serious about the wing walking Clodagh cos knowing Rips contacts (not personally you understand) you will be up there soon - very soon !!!!!!! Mr Fixit.

Beez xx

WtD i loove but havent seen last weeks so please no spoilers !!!

Hiya Clodagh ... hows you?

Billie xx

Hi Billie - back in a bit!!!

Beez xx

Hiya Rips ....

hows you ?

im not soo good hadda really crappy day at work !!!!

xxxxx

okies Beez xxx

if i cam peel your eyes away from the Delic Trevor Eve !!!!


lol...
xxx

Hello, literally crashing through,

regarding Trevor Eve, anyone remember A Sense of Guilt? Kwawwwwww, that was one sexy programme.

Catch yer later,

A x

oooeeer Billie dont watch WTD - hotting up big time!!!

Beez xx

OUTFITS Clodagh?!

What say we skip the wing walking and go Officer and a gentleman like?

In the words of that wise old sage Homer Simpson as he leaves with Marge in his arms - "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love...and I won't be back for ten minutes!"

Rips

x

im gonna watch last weeks tonight then maybe tomorrow watch this weeks !!!

cant watch em in halfs have to see em whole thats why i sky+ them!!

xxxxx

sorry guys but had a really bad day and someone today really got to me and peed me off!!!!!

xxxx