It's Saturday morning and we're currently mid-flight from Ibiza to Liverpool. Last night was a late one, DJing with Fatboy Slim, Jakwob & Tom Staar at Wonderland Vs Moda. For that very reason, we can't seem to string a coherent sentence together.

I've just taken delivery of two meals I didn't order, which has confused me somewhat. To my left, Andy's fast asleep against the window. He seems to have forgot to turn his phone off and has started receiving emails about discount viagra.

To my right, the previously vacant seat next to me is now being occupied by a pale faced women who appears to be on the verge of regurgitating her entire digestive system. I'm caught between a rock and hard place, but alas their is light at the end of this tunnel - and that light is the UK's biggest Dance Music festival Creamfields!

Two hours later and we're reunited with team R1 in the artist area of Creamfields, Vernon's in control of the music, whilst Andy and I are on the frontline, reporting from the thick of the action.

Rumour has it that the worlds smallest clubs has been erected somewhere on site, with a capacity of approximately seven averagely sized, non-agrophobic, humans. This seemed like an opportunity not be missed! Our expert detective skills (aka a phone call to the site Manager) soon lead us to what was effectively a silver garden shed. The owners of this micro-rave tell us the whole thing came from a random afterparty that lead to her and her friends (all dressed in 80's clothes) piling into her shed, for reasons we will never know. One thing lead to another and now they're set to be in the Guiness Book Of Records. Proper boss! *ahem*

Next on the agenda was a trip to the tattoo parlor. And by parlor, I mean bus, obviously. Few things could be more logically then getting a permanent drawing inked on your body, whilst semi-drunk at a festival. We chatted with some willing punters and attempted to convince Vernon to have the Family Fortunes logo embossed on his forehead. The latter was unsuccessful, but we made some new friends, so all good.

Our final excursion, before wrapping up the show and heading to our gig, was to infiltrate David Guetta's dressing. We informed Vernon and the rest of the posse in the studio of our plans, and set about our mission. Tension levels were high as we coyly blagged our way pass security and into the Gallic superstar DJ's backstage hideaway... What would we find? Oceans of champagne? Vats of caviar? A bucket of of shampoo?... Erm, no. All we found was a meagre selection of snack-sized confectionary, a fridge of Redbull and a free-standing mirror. Hardly the joie de vivre, Dave!

With our objectives achieved we headed back to base for a round of high-fives before we all headed into the night for yet another crazy Creamfields. And lets face it, when the lights go down the freaks come out!

Mission complete. Over and out.

:: Listen to Vernon's Creamfields show here and see the pictures here.

:: Thursday 2nd September 9-10pm: Jaymo and Andy George's In New DJs We Trust show with exclusive sets from Creamfields