LAST WEEK'S TEXT THE NATION

I have a friend who used to think telling girls he liked what was wrong with them (Your top makes you look fat, your upper lip needs a wax) would make them appreciate his honesty, see that he wasn't like all those other boys stupidly flattering them, and on hearing his insightful remarks would promtly swoon into his arms to be whisked them away to his love cave.

Needless to say this was not a good tactic with the ladies.

A&j's discussion prompted me and the wife to have "that talk" for the first time in a while. Turns out she quite fancies the new captain kirk - THANKS A LOT AL GORE! The only decent modern movie franchise is now ruined!!

As a teenager at school I was very sensitive about my appearance, especially the slight dimple in the end of my nose, which my parents always assured me was 'cute' and 'not that noticeable' I believed them as no-one had ever commented on it. One day after a PE lesson a girl in my class came up to me and said 'Alright bum-nose.' I slapped her in the face and skived the rest of the day.

PS I am not proud of my reaction to her honesty. I am still very sensitive about my nose.

I managed not to tell Person-Most-Likely-To-Flunk-The-Course her private nickname, even when she returned from an unauthorised absense... She was disiplined, told not to miss any more lesson for a while, and missed HER NEXT LESSON. She got chucked off the course.
I regret not telling her. So in effect I regret not being brutally honest with someone, it might have bucked her up a bit: made her stick at it to prove me wrong... oh well.

OH! I once told a young woman how thin she was and asked wasn't she worried that men would be scared of snapping her like a twig..? I may have been tipsy at the time. It was in front of her friend, my love interest of the time. Whoopsie!

I was married to a happy-go-lucky innocent Adam and Joe listener, and then one day she opened her mouth and said "Kill Boggins". It was awful.

I remember when I was 5 year-old boy my uncle who was 17 took me to a party with his friends. I saw him smoking that day which was a bit strange thing for me. As we came back my parents asked me if he'd tried a cigarette. The question supposed to be a joke was taken by me as a serious thing. And I told my parents how many cigarettes my uncle had smoked that day. Having said that I realised that I put my uncle in a very difficult situation. Obviously he had an argument with my parents. Now I'm 16 and I never take my cousins or brothers for a party. Just in case.