Sample exam question – WJECExtract responses

Once you have highlighted the references in the extract which you want to use, you need to make a brief plan before writing your answer. Make sure that you work through the extract chronologically, and always get to the end. Remind yourself of the assessment objectives - to give your own opinion about the text; build a discussion and quote directly – as well as talk about the way the writer has used language and form to create particular effects.

Use this plan to help you to make your own for other questions:

Higher tier

Read the extract then answer the following question. With close reference to the extract, show how Robert Cormier creates mood and atmosphere here.

Foundation tier

Read the extract then answer the following question. What thoughts and feelings do you have as you read this extract? Give reasons for what you say, and remember to support your answer with words and phrases from the extract.

Planning your answer

1. Introduction. Briefly explain what is going on in this passage to show the examiner that you know the text
2. Discuss the way that Cormier involves the reader in the action
3. Discuss the way that Cormier uses language and form to create mood and atmosphere
4. Conclusion. Briefly sum up what you have discussed in your response

Higher tier sample responses

Here are two sample answers which address point three of the action plan:

Sample answer one

Cormier uses language and form in this extract very effectively. The people are described as if they are one collective being. The crowd are acting as one entity, and this is shown when it says that a giant sigh rose from the crowd. A bit later we are told that the audience are watching a public game whilst another secret game was being played between Larry and Francis. The atmosphere is tense because of this idea of two separate games being played out. Only Francis and Larry are aware of their inner struggle for victory, but the reader feels part of the secret.

Larry cleverly missed Francis’ returns and was feigning frustration. To anybody in the audience, it looks as if Francis is winning this game. The use of perfectly structured sentences also adds to the feeling of being at a great sporting event; for example, My point. Next point his, then mine again. Then his. You can imagine the heads of the people in the crowd moving from left to right as they watch the ball. Words such as plopping and clunk add to the creation of atmosphere.

Feedback comments – good but needs some improvements

This answer shows an understanding of how mood and atmosphere are created but it needs to be refined. Firstly, there needs to be more reference to the writer/Cormier. There needs to be more evidence for the claims that the crowd feels like one entity or collective being.

When discussing the fact that only Larry and Francis know about the psychological game that they are playing, there should be more textual support to prove that the reader is also privy to the knowledge.

Finally, although there is discussion of the idea, there could be more analysis of the way that Cormier uses language and form to create the atmosphere of a big sporting event, including the use of technical vocabulary. There is some discussion of the subtext, with the line to anybody in the audience, it looks as if Francis is winning this game, but more explanation of what is really going on between the lines is necessary.

Sample answer two

Cormier uses language and form in this extract very effectively to create an atmosphere which feels like the experience of going to a big game. There is a large crowd at the Wreck Centre, and Cormier refers to the people almost as if they are one collective being – the noise of the crowd receded. The crowd are acting as one entity, and this is replicated in the following line when Cormier writes that a giant sigh rose from the crowd.

A bit later we are told that the hushed audience are watching the sharp, take-no-prisoners game, whilst another game, the subtle tender game, was being played between Larry and Francis. The atmosphere is tense and there is an element of mystery because of this idea of two separate games being played out. Only Francis and Larry are aware of their inner struggle for victory, and Cormier allows the reader to feel part of this secret by his use of vocabulary such as subtle, inscrutable, mysterious, and toying with me.

Cormier says that Larry cleverly missed Francis’ returns and was feigning frustration. To anybody in the audience, it looks as if Francis is winning this game, but the reader knows better and therefore a mood of deception is created. The use of perfectly structured sentences which reflect the hitting back and forth of the ball also add to the feeling of being at a great sporting event; for example, My point. Next point his, then mine again. Then his. You can imagine the heads of the people in the crowd moving from left to right as they watch the ball. Onomatopoeic words such as plopping and clunk add to the creation of atmosphere.

Feedback comments – much better, a far more detailed response

This answer is packed with detailed analysis which is supported by apt quotations. Understanding of the point is shown in the opening line, which deals directly with the way that Cormier, as the writer, creates mood and atmosphere. The way that the large crowd is brought down to a single body is well explained and supported with a series of valid examples, and the discussion builds to show how an air of mystery and deceit is created through Cormier’s use of specific vocabulary. Quotes are skilfully embedded into the candidate’s own wording, showing a level of sophistication when handling the text. The point that the reader knows better shows an appreciation of the subtext, which has been illustrated in the previous quotes, such as feigning frustration and toying. Finally, there is some use of technical language when discussing specific word choices in the last line.