Emotions and reactions to life experiences

Key points

This article will cover:

How we think about ourselves and our lives — this is the concept of SELF.

How an individual deals with a variety of life experiences — this is how they cope with CHANGE.

How we deal with all the various feelings that we have — this means managing EMOTIONS.

These are the terms to remember:

SELF— CHANGE — EMOTIONS

Balancing positivity with realism is vital to dealing successfully with the world around us.

Life is unexpected and there will be times when things are out of our control.

Personal emotions and attitudes will determine how well these issues can be managed and dealt with.

When considering what self-concept means, consider these terms:

• Self-esteem — the opinion an individual has about themselves
• Self-worth — does the individual consider themselves to be a good person, worthy of love and respect?
• Self-confidence — does the individual believe that they can achieve anything if they apply themselves?

When a person has low self-esteem, self-worth or self-confidence, it can be a struggle to successfully manage some of life’s more challenging experiences.

Developing skills and strategies to manage these experiences will lead to success in an individual’s working life and personal relationships.

Understanding oneself and managing change can only be done when a person is able to recognise and deal with their emotions.

Emotions will vary throughout a lifetime and there will be a range of experiences and challenges that will undoubtedly unleash a range of emotions.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a strong combination of fear and worry.

The things that cause anxiety are sometimes hard to identify.

It could be financial worries, relationship problems, health issues or work pressures.

It often expresses itself as frustration, anger or sadness.

Stress

Stress is a natural physical and mental reaction to both positive and negative experiences.

In the short term, stress can be helpful in dealing with tough situations.

However, severe and continuing stress can cause a variety of symptoms that affect health and wellbeing.

Stress can be triggered by the pressures of everyday responsibilities at home and work.

It can arise after negative events like divorce or the death of a loved one.

Loneliness

Feeling lonely is difficult.

Most emotions are best managed by talking to trusted friends and family, but often the lack of a trusted person is the source of the loneliness.

Frustration

Frustration is caused by things not turning out as planned.

Plans in life — big and small — are made frequently, but almost nothing happens the way we hope.

Some people take these disappointments better than others.

Sadness

Sadness is a common emotion.

It is caused by any number of life events.

It can be trivial, like losing a football match or failing an exam, or more serious, like the death of a loved one.

How can emotions and reactions to life experiences be managed?

One thing’s for certain — change never stops.

New and different challenges and experiences will arise throughout a lifetime and it is vital that coping strategies are developed in order to manage the change.

Even though it can be difficult to adapt to new surroundings, rising to the challenge of change helps people to develop.

These are some common challenges most people will experience throughout their lifetime:

Starting a new school

Almost everyone knows the feeling of starting at a new school.

Some people are fortunate enough to begin this new experience with a group of friends to share the highs and lows.

But many children find they are alone and feel scared.

There is always someone there to help.

The following strategies will also help:

• speak to a teacher
• join a student club and meet new people with shared interests
• try to make friends in class

Starting university or college

Starting at university or college is like starting school but there are many more people.

Although university usually happens in the late teenage years, it can still be a lonely and difficult experience.

However, it can be a positive experience too.

Starting university is exciting, and there are so many things to enjoy, including:

• new experiences
• clubs, societies, sports
• new, more sophisticated classes
• being more independent and confident
• forming bonds with other students
• the sense of achievement at having reached university
• meeting new friends

That said, there are some downsides:

• drinking too much alcohol
• sleeping poorly
• reacting badly to a change of diet
• being short of money
• striking a balance between study, work and socialising is difficult
• missing your family and school friends
• finding it hard to cope with independence

Remember to prioritise personal health and well-being at university.

Don’t try to do everything at once.

Take some time out to speak to specialist advisers about how to adapt.

Starting a new job

Entering the world of work may mean beginning a new job several times throughout a lifetime.

Adapting to new ways of doing things, new buildings and maybe even new cities and countries can be difficult.

Attempting to satisfy the demands of the job and a new boss will come with challenges.

There can be less support in the workplace than at school or university and it is necessary to be more determined to succeed.

It is important to keep in touch with friends who are going through similar experiences.

Unemployment

Losing a job is a part of life. It can be difficult to adapt immediately to changes that have a huge impact on lifestyle.

Unemployment means a drastic reduction in income and can be a blow to self-esteem.

It is important to actively seek new work and keep a routine.

Personal contacts can be helpful to find new employment opportunities.

It may be necessary to consider moving to another city or country to find work.

Job opportunities

• Meeting new people can improve social life
• Potential to earn money can lead to opportunities to have new experiences
• Learning and developing skills which can be beneficial in other areas of life

Job challenges

• Disliking work colleagues
• Not feeling fulfilled in the workplace
• There might not be as many opportunities to earn money or get a promotion as first thought

Being in love and moving in together is easy, right?

The reality is somewhat different.

There will be small differences in personality and opinion that only emerge when two people are sharing a home.

Confronting the day-to-day realities of living together can be a challenge.

Couples need to be open and patient with each other.

Relationship opportunities

• Sense of sharing responsibility together
• Joint pride and satisfaction at what you have both achieved
• Opportunity to spend as much time as possible with one another

Relationship challenges

• One person could take on all responsibility whilst the other does very little
• Financial burdens or issues could cause arguments
• Being with one another all the time could lead to isolation from friends or family

Change is scary, but there a lot of good ways to deal with it.

Coping strategies for managing new experiences:

Mindfulness: Practising mindfulness by mediating, journaling, doing yoga or paying attention to the present moment without judging it – allows individuals to feel less overwhelmed and calm in moments of uncertainty and change.

Positive thinking: Thinking positively enables people to stay hopeful even when things are difficult. By thinking about change positively it can be viewed as a chance to grow and learn something new.

Self-care: Practising self-care by getting enough sleep, exercising and eating well helps individuals to feel more in control during times of change.

Speaking to someone you trust: Sharing problems and concerns with a family member, teacher or friends, can help young people better understand their feelings and help navigate change.