Writing a letter using emotive language, direct address and repetition

Speaker 1: (TO AUDIENCE) So we're just looking through some old letters that have gone home to parents because we had an incident of a child bringing in a snack from home.

I just want to have a look at the wording and things for drafting another letter.

Speaker 2: (TO OTHER PEOPLE) What's this one like?

Do you think we could hand something like that out again?

Speaker 1: It's very short. I don't feel like it goes into much detail.

Speaker 2: It's not persuasive enough really, is it?

And it says 'might not' - it's not direct enough really, is it?

Speaker 1: No. I mean, there's even a picture of an ice cream on there. It's not very serious.

Speaker 2: What about the chickenpox one? How's that?

Speaker 1: A lot better. They're using things such as 'you', 'your cooperation'.

Speaker 2: So it's very direct for the parents.

Speaker 1: Very direct. I mean, they've even mentioned 'risk' a number of times.

Speaker 1: (TO AUDIENCE) We found this letter that we sent home about chickenpox.

The way it's worded it's so much more direct to the parents.

It's quite repetitive to tell the parents the seriousness of things.

I mean, this is something that I'll use as a guide, to help me.

Speaker 1: Hi Beverly

Speaker 2: Hi.

Speaker 1: So I just don't feel that enough is being done at the moment, regarding the snacks being brought in from home.

Speaker 2: Yeah, but we have sent out slips before.

I don't want to scare the parents.

Speaker 1: We've sent, what three, four letters since September?

And it's still an occurring problem.

Whereas we sent one letter about chickenpox, and the severity of that letter - parents have really understood it.

Speaker 2: That's true. What do you want to do?

Speaker 1: So I think that we need to rewrite another letter, really emphasising the seriousness of the allergies.

This time was the gluten intolerance next time it could be nuts. It can be life or death.

Speaker 2: You have made a very good point there.

So if you draft the letter and then bring it to me and Basia and I will have a look at it.

Speaker 1: OK.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Are you happy with that?

Speaker 1: I am.

(TO AUDIENCE) I was speaking to her about how I was feeling about the situation.

I used all the information, I gave it to her, I used examples.

I used a serious tone of voice with her to really emphasise how I felt.

Speaker: I'm just following up my conversation with Beverly, and I'm drafting a strongly worded letter to send home to the parents.

Interviewer: So how are you doing that?

Speaker: So I'm using quite emotive words, such as 'dangerous', 'danger', 'risk', just to really emphasise to the parents our meaning of the letter.

I'm being quite repetitive with the words, so I'm using them a number of times.

I'm going to really aim it towards the parents, using words such as 'your', 'you', and really putting the responsibility on them.

I feel I've really got my point across, and I'm really hoping that the parents take notice this time.