Three surprising life lessons we can learn from Barbie

In a world full of Dreamhouses, sunsets and roller blades, you’d think everything would be perfect, but the beginning of the Barbie movie sees our blonde-haired heroine confronting some big questions and difficult feelings. We all feel that way sometimes – we’re not made of plastic after all.

It got us thinking about some of the life lessons that Barbie encounters in the film. So, we’ve dipped into the Bitesize Study Support archives for some articles around these themes which we hope might be helpful to you.

Warning: spoilers ahead.

1. Why toxic positivity can leave you feeling bad

In a scene close to the start of the film, Barbie’s throwing some serious shapes at her perfect Dreamhouse disco when she suddenly stops and starts to talk about her real thoughts and feelings in a place where every day has to be ‘the best day everrrrrrr’, everything has to be pink, and everyone should be happy all of the time. Barbie quickly realises her mistake, corrects herself and carries on dancing… It is, after all, important to always be smiling in Barbieland.

It's a great example of what has become known as ‘toxic positivity’. In our 2021 article, ‘Toxic positivity’: Why #GoodVibesOnly can leave you feeling bad, psychotherapist Tasha Bailey says, '"toxic positivity" can be defined as the assumption that we should always have a positive outlook, even if we are in emotional or physical pain. It's the unrealistic idea that acting more positive and happy will make us feel better. But in reality, it's a way of shutting down our very real and human feelings and can often make us feel worse.’

She explains how emotions are not something to be pushed down or to be afraid of. ‘Emotions are incredible superpowers,’ she says, ‘designed for humans to understand what’s going on for them inside. Even the most difficult and uncomfortable emotions deserve to be respected and taken care of by you and your support circle.’

Barbie eventually chooses to leave Barbieland for the Real World, with all its ups and downs and messy, inconvenient feelings. Seen this way, that seems like a healthy choice.

2. Why it’s good to ask for help

After the disco, Barbie does open up and speak to her friends about the feelings she’s been having. Confessing that her feet have turned flat – rather than stiletto-ready – her friends don’t give the most supportive response (dry-heaving, anyone?), but they do suggest that she goes to the resident expert ‘Weird Barbie’ to seek support, an action which sets Barbie off on her journey of self-discovery.

It must have been difficult for Barbie to open up about the ways she felt she was different or how she was having a hard time, but it leads to a positive result.

Our 2021 video ‘Thoughts and feelings getting you down? When to seek help’ was based on the findings of the Emerging Minds Co-Ray Project, led at the University of Oxford and it explores questions like, ‘How do I know I need to ask for help?’, ‘Who should I talk to?’ and ‘How do I ask for help?’. It suggests that if you speak to someone and they don’t know what to say or they don’t respond right away, you shouldn’t be put off. ‘They might not have known what to say right then, but that doesn’t mean what you’re going through isn’t important. There are different types of help available.’

It’s always important to ask for help if we’re going through change or struggling with difficult thoughts and feelings.

3. Why perfection is not the goal

In Barbieland, everything seems perfect, from the pristine, immaculately-manicured gardens of the Dreamhouses to the flawless, impeccably-dressed Barbies who live there. Not a hair, blade of grass, nor grain of sand is out of place in Barbieland. Sounds dreamy, right? And exhausting! Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why Barbie chooses to leave Barbieland to take her chances in the much less-than-perfect Real World.

Now, you might think this has nothing to do with exams and revision, but in this article from 2020, Natasha Devon, mental health campaigner and author, explains ‘the irony and the illusion’ of perfectionism as an approach to studying, and what we can do to avoid it. Perfectionism, she explains, can set us up for failure because it’s unattainable. ‘Perfectionism,’ she says, ‘is tearing up a drawing you’ve spent hours on, because you made a tiny mistake that seemed a huge disaster. Or just giving up on something you know you can't do perfectly.’ To avoid this, Natasha suggests that we make 'good enough' our new best friend. This is the lesson that Barbie’s best friend learns at the end of the film, when he sees that he is, in fact, ‘Kenough’ after all.

If you need support

You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.

If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

There are more links to helpful organisations on the BBC Bitesize Action Line page for young people.