This article was first published in October 2020.
What is perfectionism? What does it mean? Well, it's setting yourself a standard so high that it can't actually be achieved…
In this video Natasha Devon, mental health campaigner and author of Yes You Can Ace Your Exams Without Losing Your Mind, explains the irony and the illusion of perfectionism, and what we can do to avoid it.
Natasha: What is perfectionism? What does it mean? Well, it’s setting yourself a standard so high… that it can’t actually be achieved.
Perfectionism is getting 90% in a test, but only seeing the 10% you didn’t get.
Or spending so much time choosing the perfect font, that you have to rush the assignment to meet the deadline, stressing yourself out, and at the same time handing in work that’s not as good as it could be, because you had to hurry through it.
Perfectionism is tearing up a drawing you’ve spent hours on, because you made a tiny mistake that seemed a huge disaster. Or just giving up on something you know you can't do perfectly.
This is the irony and the illusion of perfectionism - it leads to failure, not success. Studies show that constantly trying to achieve the impossible, floods your body with stress chemicals and makes you vulnerable to serious mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
So how do you stop it? Make GOOD ENOUGH your new best friend.
That's right, good enough. If you're a perfectionist you'll think 'good enough' is just well, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, but what if perfectionism is actually stopping you achieving your true potential?
It’s not always a case of working longer equalling a better result. Perfectionists often work past peak point, which is the point at which your work is at its best. It could be re-writing a paragraph with lots of unnecessary words; adding too much to a painting so it looks chaotic; or not giving yourself enough rest time before a big sports match and being too exhausted to perform well. ‘Good enough’ stops this happening and allows you to take pride in your work.
Instead of focussing on a perfect result, focus on a good job. Get going with one paragraph, one sentence, one minute of revision, and do it well.
Do something you don't excel at and enjoy the feeling of making progress. It could be drawing, football, singing - anything that you do just for the sake of doing it.
Good enough is how you train yourself to stop trying to achieve the illusion of perfection. You don’t have to be world champion at everything. Do everything well instead of perfectly, and you’ll be happier, more productive, and get even better results.
Instead of focussing on a perfect result, focus on a good job. Get going with one paragraph, one sentence, one minute of revision, and do it well.
You might also want to try doing some things just for fun or having a go at something you know you won't do well just to practise not doing everything perfectly!
If you need support
You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.
If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are more links to helpful organisations on the BBC Bitesize Action Line page for young people.
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