How to cope with being an England fan

We spoke to an expert for tips on how to deal with the wild hope, the fear, and the disappointment

Disclaimer: This article is very England-centric. If you support one of the other home nation teams you may wish to look away now. Though actually, the advice will probably be transferable to fans of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland too.

Here we go again! Here we flipping go! Again! England’s brave, sweet boys on the march. Ready to make it OUR year.

England's first fixture of the 2018 World Cup is tonight. And, somehow, entirely unreasonably, you’ve convinced yourself they’re going to win this ruddy thing. 

Fast-forward four weeks. Where will England be by then? Bringing football home? Or will the dream be in tatters, with players sat separately in their hotel rooms, headphones on, refusing to engage with one another?

It’s a familiar cycle of emotions by now, being an England fan at a major tournament. The wild hope, the fear, the fatalism, the disappointment, the despair, the…dare we dream…the joy?

How best to manage these feelings? 

We went to an expert to find out. Eric Simons is a California-based journalist who has spent a lot of time thinking and writing about the ways that sports fans behave. In his 2013 book, The Secret Lives of Sports Fans, he worked with neuroscientists, psychologists, anthropologists, and, of course, fans, to get a deeper understanding. 

“The English combination is a weird one – of high expectation and frequent failure,” he observes with some amusement when we speak on the phone. “That’s the most devastating possible way to be a fan. It’s really awful.” 

Eric explains how expectation plays such a crucial role in how mammals’ brains work. “The loop is that you get a reward in life through different things,” he explains. “That reward causes your brain to release dopamine, which makes you feel good. That is very tied to your memory. You lock in this memory. And then you keep trying to recreate it.”

This is why ritual and superstition are so important to sports fans. It’s about trying to control the situation; 'How can I possibly lose if I’m wearing my lucky pants?'

Acting as a break on this drive to seek out that thing that made us feel so good that one time is what’s called ‘self-control’. Heard of it? No, us neither. “That’s when these definitions of addiction come in,” Eric tells me, “when your self-control is no longer able to check your drive to seek out these rewards.” 

Anyway, apparently this is important in, well, not getting too carried away.

Eric describes the human brain as acting like a casino – constantly running odds on outcomes.

“The greatest reward comes from a mismatch - a win despite the odds,” he says.

Perhaps this is what keeps us English fans hooked then? After all, it must be boring to be a Germany or a Brazil fan – going out to win the competition and then doing just that? How dull.

By extension then, the very best way to engage is to expect the absolute least. Then the rewards will be greatest. 

For some reason, though, there's a certain quarter of England fans who, before every tournament, maintain that this year will be ours, even when everything points to that not being the case.

Why do we go into each tournament with these wildly disproportionate expectations?

After all, you have to reach back pretty far into the national memory to find examples of success. That's dependant on your definition of success, of course. "Unbeaten in World Cup qualification against sturdy opposition such as Slovakia, Malta and Slovenia is nothing to be sniffed at", we hear you cry out. Or, perhaps more credibly, the quarter finals of the 2006 World Cup isn't bad, is it?

Either way, for Eric, this is where culture intersects with personal expectation. 

“How a psyche is passed down between generations - that’s one of the most fascinating questions here,” observes Eric. “I think that probably is some reflection of the psyche of the country. It’s a reflection of the values of people – that they’ll project, even if it’s not true.”

What about once the pessimism starts to creep in? Is it just as important to manage that too?

How do we, as fans, shake off the demons of our past?

“It’s really hard to do,” Eric tells me. Great.

“There’s a lot of fascinating neuroscience work on what’s called ‘stereotype threat’," Eric says. "This presents in a lot of different contexts."

Essentially, stereotype threat is when one group or demographic is haunted by past failures from others who belong to their group – and even that reminder alone can really affect performance.

“Stereotype threat is really powerful," Eric explains. "There’s no way not to think about it. Even if you’re sat there saying, 'I’m not going to think about this', then there is still some part of your brain occupied in suppressing this thought, which is, therefore, not available for the task at hand.” 

So, if you’re an England player stepping up to take a penalty, the memory of all those before who fell short from the penalty spot could be enough to help you ease that ball way up into the stands.

Fans tend to suffer with this more than players. Says Eric: “You get young players coming in, who don’t care about the history, and they think, 'Well, why not us?'" 

However, when it comes to the national team, there is another factor at play here. Most club players (despite what they may say) will not have grown up supporting their current employers. That’s less likely to be the case with the national squad.

We’re all just a bag of nerves together, basically.

So why do we keep going back to this thing that’s treated us so badly?

“In sports, it’s not just winning that rewards you,” Eric explains. “Human connection and relationships matter to us very much, too. As social animals, the existence of relationships rewards us as much as the hive of relationships. Long-term loyalty and love matters to us.” 

Eric says that the neuroscience research he did for his book suggests that the existence of long-term relationships can operate a dopamine loop.

“Seeing a picture of a person you’ve been married to for twenty years operates in a similar way to temporary reward like winning - because relationships matter.”

For Eric, loyalty to a team rewards us in a similar way. It's a long-term relationship that requires our continued input and we're rewarded for our loyalty.

Basically, we’re in it for the long haul, whether we like it or not.

Okay, so let’s imagine the worst. We’ve been shocked by Tunisia, trounced by Belgium, and we’ve failed to qualify. How do we cope? 

Eric looks to practices from mindfulness. “A lot of teachings from meditation tell us to not push emotions aside, but label and watch them as they go by, before letting them go. I think that’s helpful," he says.

Crucially, though, Eric believes that we should also allow ourselves to admit to these feelings. 

“Part of the reason that the frustration feels so bad is that there’s a degree of shame in allowing yourself to be frustrated by something so inconsequential,” he tells me. “You’re mad at yourself. I don’t think you should be.”

For him, it’s totally normal to respond with upset. “Again, this is not a totally unreasonable thing to feel. Your fears are legitimate. Feeling hurt or disappointment is a rational, evidence-based response.”

So we should be worried, and we should be upset when we lose.

Well, that’s cheered us up. Hopefully it’s helped you out too.

In the meantime…come on England! It’s going to be our year!

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