10 tweets that sum up the first week of the World Cup
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One week down, three and a half to go
Whether you've watched every game or just need a bluffer's guide to pretend like you have, here's 10 handy tweets that sum up all the major events from week one of the World Cup.
1) El Gasico
I know it feels like ages ago, but the World Cup kicked off in sustainable style with the Natural Resources Derby that was Russia vs Saudi Arabia...and it was the Crown Prince, rather than the president, who was left feeling short-changed.
2) Things were about to get Messi
For the fourth World Cup running, we had to put up with the unanswerable dilemma of Lionel Messi vs Cristiano Ronaldo...
...although Iceland - who briefly threatened to ruin Ronaldo's Euro 2016 - were now proving difficult for Argentina's main man.
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3) He's too Cesc-y for his shirt
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Of all the punditry fashion on show so far this year, it's Cesc Fabregas's decision to bring just his Top Gun fancy dress outfits to Russia that stood out the most. And we include Ian Wright's wardrobe in that equation.
4) VAR-ha-ha
All right, so our dependence on technology is going to ruin elite football forever, but we might as well have a laugh at the referees' little screens while it happens...
5) Pride comes before a wall
Before the defending champions' opening World Cup game, the newspapers back home were in fairly confident mood when it came to the prospect of Mexico...
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...but things, inevitably, didn't go to plan.
Meanwhile, Mexican subtitlers - temporarily at least - had the easiest job in the world:
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6) Pumped for the World Cup
Senegal manager - and Birmingham City legend - Aliou Cisse has clearly been working on this for the last four years:
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It's not so much the emphatic fist pump, it's more the nerveless, stone-cold stare at the camera. That takes research. Preparation. Professionalism.
7) It's pasta joke
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Neymar's new hairstyle turned heads as Brazil took to the pitch for their opener against Switzerland, and Eric Cantona - a man who really seems to be letting his hair down these days - put some carbohydrates to good use to offer his critique.
8) Sir Gareth
It will probably all collapse like a pack of cards but, so far, Gareth Southgate's England are going about their business quietly and unfussily, much like the man himself. But let's not forget a time when the chances of a man called Gareth being the saviour of English football were very remote indeed.
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9) A time and a place
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There are 20 seconds to go in a World Cup match against Spain. You are losing 1-0. You have a throw-in. What do you do?
a) Just throw it into the box, normally
b) JUST THROW IT INTO THE BOX, NORMALLY
10) The Panama Papers, Pt.2
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You can't even carry your starting line-up around on a piece of paper these days. What is the world coming to?
Read more:
How to cope with being an England fan
