The survey appears to contradict stereotypical images of youngsters being concerned about being "cool" and getting involved with the opposite sex.

The reality of school life is very much at odds with the stereotypical view of declining standards and rebellious children

Phil Hemmings, RM director of corporate affairs

Parents are out of touch with the true concerns of their offspring, the survey of 266 UK children aged seven to 16 and 256 parents found.

While 46% of the pupils surveyed by computer firm RM were concerned about doing well at school, 43% were worried they might come into contact with drugs and alcohol.

Bullying was a stress for 40% of those surveyed, concerns over future education bugged 37%, while 34% were bothered about friendships at school.

Out of touch

Over half (51%) of the parents questioned said they thought their children worried most about friendships at school, followed by fitting in (36%) and being trendy (33%).

Children seem to be very conscientious

But only half as many children (16%) listed being fashionable as a concern.

Under one fifth of parents thought their children were worrying about their future education while this was a concern for 37% of the children surveyed.

Three quarters of parents said worrying about how their children were doing kept them awake at night.

More were worried about their children's ability to make friends than do well in exams - 27% said their offspring's friendships kept them awake at night, compared with 23%.

'Focused' children

RM director of corporate affairs Phil Hemmings said: "This research suggests that the reality of school life is very much at odds with the stereotypical view of declining standards and rebellious children."

"It's very encouraging that today's youth is so focused on education and so aware of the things that might cause problems in their lives.

"However, it is clear that children are facing stress at school and parents need to be aware of these pressures and be prepared to help their children cope."

Chartered educational psychologist Gill Evans said: "Children need to be encouraged to talk about their worries - parents need to be ready to listen in order that they can help their child put their worries into perspective.

Parental sensitivity

"This survey raises an important question: 'Can a certain degree of worry about doing well at school act as a positive stressor that enhances school performance?'

"With the increasing focus on today's children on formal assessment and testing from pre-school onwards, it is important for parents to become more aware and sensitive to their child's increasing concerns about school performance."

"The survey showed that parents are in fact out of step with their children, rating 'being trendy' and 'friendships' as the top two key issues."

'One-to-one support'

A spokeswoman for the Department for Education said the government was committed to helping young people face a wide range of issues.

"The Connexions (career advice) service plays an important role in this, providing one-to-one support and advice on a wide range of issues that affect their present and future education," the spokeswoman said.

"The department also publishes guidance on a wide range of issues such as homework and coping with bullying.

"The minister for young people and learning, Stephen Twigg, also regularly meets young people to listen to their views and hear what matters to them."