Here, Ken Wood from London takes parents to task for their own behaviour at the annual school play:

School Nativity

My dearest mum and daddy too,
It's very nice, we think, of you
To come and see our Christmas show.
You like to see us have a go.
For you we love to act and sing,
But there is just one tiny thing.
While you're watching what we're at
Do you really have to chat?

It's only for a half an hour.
Surely you have got the power
To listen quietly to us.
You're always telling me I must.
It's very hard to concentrate
On being an Eastern potentate
And follow the bright Star and sing
With you lot out there gossiping.

And if you must a photo take
Please have a thought, for goodness sake.
Don't just stand up and block the view
Of someone sitting behind you
And don't come creeping down the aisle
On all fours like a crocodile
To take a picture right up close
So you can see straight up my nose.

It would be sensible to wait
Until the end. Please hesitate.
Before we exit from the hall
We'll let you have a photo call.
And you could go mad taking snaps
And thus avoiding all mishaps.
We're always grateful that you're asked
But spare a thought for us the cast.

You should set us a good example.
So please our efforts do not trample.
If we behaved as you do, dears
We'd soon have you reduced to tears.
And if you're good and make us proud
By sitting quiet then clapping loud,
We'll wish you every Christmas cheer
And promise to be good all year.