Soulla Kwong, from London, is the mother of three boys at various stages of their education.

Here, she vividly describes the stresses and frustrations the family felt in trying - and so far failing - to get a place at a secondary school of their choice.

I think the title of this article is "The mad scramble to find a decent secondary school or to get into the secondary school of one's choice".

Perhaps not everyone found themselves in this situation this past year, but alas we did.

Having sent our first child off to university in September 2002, we found ourselves faced having to look for secondary schools again from scratch.

We looked at the school that our eldest child attended - a Church of England school outside our borough.

We had the right criteria. However, as we neither live in the catchment area, nor have another child at the school, our child was put on a waiting list made up strictly by the distance separating our house and the school.

We also applied to a school within the borough, which had an entry exam.

I feel bitterly disappointed, that I am failing my child January 03 article October 02 article

The school had so many applicants that two sittings were arranged on the day of the exam.

Our child had to be at the school at 0715, the first exam sitting. Should anyone arrive late, entry would be disqualified we were told in the letter.

When I returned to the school to pick up our child, I found to my amazement that the exam had only just started.

So many children arrived late and the parents would not have heard of the school procedures, so the school had no option but to let everyone sit for the exam.

Having been through all that, our child was not admitted at the school.

The reasons:

• We have no other child at the school
• No parent works at the school
• We do not live in the school's catchment area
• Our child does not currently attend a school in the borough
• Our child failed the test

As a parent I wanted to know my child's test result. The school could not disclose that.

Could I see the test paper? No, the paper was set by an outside agency, marked and kept by the agency.

Only the first 45 who passed the test gained places at the school.

The rest of the children were admitted under the other criteria mentioned above.

Thoroughly dissatisfied, I wrote to the director of education for the borough.

Two weeks later I had a letter. It explained that all schools in the borough had their own admission policy and although all children resident in the borough were entitled to have a place at a borough school, one did not necessarily have a choice of school to which one might gain entry.

Three schools, which still had places in the borough, were mentioned in the letter, which asked whether we might like to approach them.

However, we could not allow our child to go to any of these.

I had to do some trial teaching at one of them and I would not allow myself to accept a position there, let alone put my child through something like that.

Our child also sat for the entry test at another school again outside our borough. There too, we were unsuccessful.

The reasons?

• We do not have another child in the school
• No parent works at the school
• We are not in the school catchment area
• Our child failed the entry test
• Our child did not gain entry under the music criteria - those accepted under the music criteria were of a higher standard
• Our child was not accepted under the sports criteria - others were better.

Could we see the test that our child was supposed to have failed? No.

What grade did our child get? Below the passing mark.

What was the passing mark? Your child got a grade below the passing mark.

Then there ensued the discussion of all the other activities that our child participates in (a bit like trying to sell one's child).

Still, a letter arrived two days later saying that the appeal was unsuccessful due to the same criteria mentioned previously but they would keep our child's name on the waiting list.

It is almost end of June now and we still have no school.

Getting children into a chosen school is not easy

There was a glimmer of hope at the church school when we were below the first half a dozen on the waiting list, only to move up again because some other people moved into the school's catchment area.

Thus, so very close, yet so far. Should the people who hold more than one place at the various schools not release them in time?

Schools state that people should not hold a place at more than one school but who can check what people do?

We remain hopeful that it will all work out for the best. The Church of England school is our priority anyway.

As it stands, our child risks missing out on the new school open evening and open day where all the new children can get together.

Morally, it also risked damaging our child's self-confidence, a very capable child who has a lot to offer and is keen to achieve.

Our child felt unwanted, incapable and could not understand how our eldest child did not have to go through any of this.

It took a lot of explaining and a lot of encouragement to make our child understand that it is the system failing us and it is nothing to do with our child.

Pressure

As parents, I, myself feel bitterly disappointed, that I am failing my child but of course I have to keep my thoughts to myself.

I had pressurised my child to prepare for entry exams, music exams and all this was not enough.

I explained to my child that participation in out-of-school activities would prove in good stead, but it proved not to be enough.

However, when I heard all those other parents who uprooted and moved to particular school catchment areas hoping of a better chance, hired private tutors and still find themselves on the waiting list, well at least I did not put my family under that sort of pressure too.

This year's experience, which I must emphasise I never had to face with my eldest child, highlights a lot of issues:

Why is there such a scramble for schools, something that never existed some eight years ago? Why are so many schools not on the parents' "wanted" list?

Why are schools hiding the children's test results? All results should be published so that children and parents know where they stand.

Private tuition

As more and more schools (not only independent and grammar schools) require entry exams, why are primary schools so obsessed with Sats and they do not use the time to prepare all children for the secondary school entry exams?

Parents are spending good money on private tuition and their children are still not getting into the schools they want them to go to.

As parents we pay taxes to fund our children's education, yet this very system does not provide for our children's very needs.

Why are schools becoming individual entities setting their own criteria when they are still state schools?

Schools are setting their own criteria, admitting whom they want to admit.

Why can't the education department re-introduce the old 11+ system so that all children are judged by the same criteria instead of letting parents and children face the mess that we face today?

Now there is a cash crisis as well for schools, it makes one think where are we heading.

The past year has been difficult: preparing for exams, choosing schools, sitting for exams, being rejected, appealing, phoning, filling in forms, waiting and waiting with an anxious, bright child who does not understand what is going on.

And all this just to gain a place at a secondary school and yet many more important exams, difficulties testing one's stamina will determine whether one will achieve future ambitions or not.

Balanced children with a broad variety of interests - not just in the academic field - perseverance, determination and being in the right environment with the right guidance will make this happen.