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HEALTH FAMILY PROBLEMS RELATIONSHIPS EDUCATION & CAREER Dear What's The Problem, I am 16 years old and my boyfriend and I have talked about having sex. The thought of it makes me really nervous and quite scared. I am also worried in case I get pregnant. To be honest I am feeling really confused about the whole thing. I have looked at several websites on the internet to try and help me make sense of how I feel, but none of them have really answered my questions. Please can you tell me what I should do? Rebecca McClean, e-mail Advice : Tricia Kreitman, Counsellor *I'm not sure which part of the world Rebecca McClean comes from, but she must make sure that she is legally allowed to have sex otherwise she could get her boyfriend into trouble with the police if he has sex with her. *Most importantly Rebecca must be 100% sure that she is ready to have sex. Remember that people have sex for all sorts of reasons, sometimes it is about emotional blackmail, sometimes a boyfriend may say, "if you really love me prove it." Sometimes it is peer pressure; you think everyone else is doing it so you don't want to feel left out. *Ignoring all the above - the feeling I get from Rachel's letter is that she is not ready for sex. Rachel needs to tell your boyfriend that she is nervous about having sex and if she can't talk about this then I would seriously advise that she does not have sex with him. If he is willing to wait until Rachel is ready to have sex then the relationship is seriously worth pursuing. *Remember having sex is taking an enormous emotional step - remember there is the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. And remember there is also the risk of the emotional after effects. If the relationship becomes sexual, and it ends and this does happen, girls in particular are very badly effected by this and find it hard to cope. So this what I would advice you to do, ask your boyfriend to wait, and this is a very good test. If he loves you'll he'll say that's fine. *She should also try to look at the following website: [. This site gives information about people who are not sure whether they should have sex and where they can get contraception from. And there is another site run by young people that has a chat room and very useful opinions on it....and that's called www.thesiteorg.uk (Youthnet advice site) The What's the Problem? website is providing general information only. It should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor or any other health care professional. The BBC is not responsible or liable for any diagnosis made by a user based on the content of the What's the Problem? website. Always consult your own GP if you're in any way concerned about your health.		FURTHER INFORMATION   Contraceptives Barrier methods: These include male and female condoms, the cap, and the diaphragm. They physically prevent sperm entering the uterus (womb), and condoms also stop viruses and bacteria being passed from one partner to another. Oral contraceptives: Choose between the combined pill (oestrogen and progestogen) and the pill (progestogen only). The combined pill stops the woman releasing an egg each month . The mini pill works in a different way, but may also prevent ovulation. Intrauterine devices: Tiny devices inserted into the womb through the vagina and cervix. They stop sperm meeting an egg, or may stop a fertilised egg from settling in the womb. Natural family planning: The woman uses natural indicators, such as changes in her body temperature, to tell her what days she is fertile each month. When she knows she is fertile, she and her partner avoid sex or use a barrier method such as condoms. Sterilization: It's a permanent method of preventing pregnancy for men or women who have decided they don't want any more children. Depending where you are in the world, the surgeon may not think it wise to perform a sterilization operation on a young person who hasn't had any children - people have a habit of changing their minds if they divorce and remarry.    INTERNET LINKS Free confidential sex advice   Youthnet advice site   The BBC is not responsible for the content of external Internet sites