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HEALTH FAMILY PROBLEMS RELATIONSHIPS EDUCATION & CAREER I am a 24 year old boy who is still a virgin. I'm the only one amongst my friends who has never had sex. I often have to listen to my friends talking about their girlfriends and their exploits, and, because I am embarrassed by my lack of sexual experience, I lie about the girls I've been dating. However, recently I met a girl and we've been going out for the last three weeks. We both really like each other and want to have a sexual relationship. Unfortunately every time I try to have intercourse with her, I have a premature ejaculation. I'm beginning to feel desperate and useless. Please, can you help me? Pius Hyder, Kenya Advice: Tricia Kreitman, Counsellor. *It is important to remember that premature ejaculations are very common amongst young men and in new relationships. Premature ejaculations are a result of anxiety and over excitement. The symptoms of premature ejaculation do wear off when you relax into a relationship. *Pius must remember that when he begins love-making, his first erection will be over very quickly but the second one will last much longer. Pius should maybe take some alcohol before love-making this will take the edge of things. *He should also try the stop-start technique - it relies on masturbation. You have to masturbate until you've nearly reached an orgasm and then you stop. You take your hands away and you think of something very boring - for instance you could think about your mother's recipe for pancakes. Keep this thought in your mind for at least thirty seconds and you will find your erection fading, once this happens you start again. Once you reach the point of orgasm stop and do the stop start technique all over again. If you do this four or five times a day, you will eventually regain control of your erection. The What's the Problem? website is providing general information only. It should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor or any other health care professional. The BBC is not responsible or liable for any diagnosis made by a user based on the content of the What's the Problem? website. Always consult your own GP if you're in any way concerned about your health.		FURTHER INFORMATION   Is impotence a disease? No, it is usually more of a symptom or side effect of something else. That "something else" can be quite serious, so the cause of impotence needs to be determined and corrected if possible. This obviously means you should let your family doctor know if you are one experiencing problems with your erections. Talk to your doctor about any treatment possibilities. This is often a good time to be referred to a specialist in the field, usually a urologist.    INTERNET LINKS IMPOTENCE.ORG   PREMATURE EJACULATION   The BBC is not responsible for the content of external Internet sites