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24 September 2014
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CULTURE

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Capital of Culture: the opposition
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Twelve UK cities started the competition, but on 31 October 2002 a shortlist was announced of the final six.

The shortlist comprises: us (of course), Liverpool, Bristol, Birmingham, Oxford and Cardiff.

Here's what the opposition have to offer.

Liverpool

Liverpool is thought to be a leading contender due to its strong track record in popular culture and the fine arts. Its bid also has strong popular support (which we could do with a bit more of!).

Cilla Black
Worra lorra Cilla

The Highs
Major art galleries - the Tate and Walker. Architectural gems - St George's Hall, the Pier Head and the Albert Dock area.
Top of the Pops - Merseybeat, The Beatles, The Coral and Creamfields.

The Lows
The Diddymen and tickling sticks.
The accent, plus a tendency to say things like "worra lorra".
Brookside (RIP).
Terrible football team.

Famous exports
Paul McCartney et al,
Ken Dodd, Cilla Black, Richard and Judy (who are said to have left Liverpool docks, because none of their celeb guests wanted to travel to Liverpool! Um, we wonder why?).

Cardiff

Cardiff ticks the boxes on cultural diversity on two fronts: Welsh identity and cultural mix.

Shirley Bassey
Cardiff export: Shirley Bassey

The Highs
Great buildings - Cardiff Castle, the City Hall. Sporting excellence - Millennium Stadium and Welsh rugby.

The Lows
Max Boyce, Charlotte Church.

Famous Exports
Manic Street Preachers, Shirley Bassey, Laurence Llewelyn Bowen.

Birmingham

The Birmingham team seem very (overly?) confident about their bid. However, getting rid of the infamous Bull Ring Centre and throwing money into new buildings just can't seem to overcome its reputation for being plain old ugly.

Spaghetti junction
Brum's notorious Spaghetti Junction

The Highs
Brum is the home of the Birmingham Royal Ballet, the D'Oyly Carte, and the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra.

The Lows
Its image as a sprawling concrete jungle.
The accent - enough said.

Famous Exports
Simon Le Bon, Jasper Carrott.

Bristol

Bristol's reputation as a cultural centre is hampered by an uncomfortable juxtaposition of the well-off middle classes and some fairly rough inner cities, harking back to its heavy involvement in the slave trade.

The Highs
Fab architecture
Thriving cafe society (darling)
Proximity to Devon and Cornwall - not going to improve their bid's chances, but a winner for wannabe surf dudes.
Proximity to Glastonbury - as above, but substitute surf dudes with hippies.

A nice bridge, but it's not a patch on ours.

"A Respectable Trade": the drama set against the background of the slave trade in late eighteenth century Bristol
Bristol was built on the profits of slavery

The Lows
Bristol Rovers
Dodgy history (slave trade)
An inability to pronounce the name of their own city: natives call it "Brizzle".
Popular with the convalescence/retirement industries.

Famous Exports
Bristovians claim Isambard Kingdom Brunel, although he only ended up in Bristol because he went there to recover from a tunnel accident in London - as already mentioned, Bristol has a long-established convalescence industry.

Portishead
Massive Attack

Oxford

Oxford's problem is that it just seems ever so slightly toffee-nosed. Having one of the most heavily-funded universities, attended by a large percentage of public school kids and aristos probably doesn't help.

Oxford University Dons
Dons or just old toffs?

The Highs
Chelsea Clinton - depending on your point of view.
Inspector Morse (RIP) - of course, very ably assisted by our very own Kevin Whately.

Architecture

Radiohead
Supergrass

The Lows
Chelsea Clinton - depending on your point of view.
Too many toffs.
Too many tourists.
Morris dancing (which alone must lose them the competition).

Famous Exports
Chelsea Clinton (soon)
Jeremy Paxman

Queen (they all graduated from some minor university there)
Brogues
Oxfam

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