There's got to be a world record somewhere in all of this?
John: Mmm, yes...probably, for the greatest number of flops between hits! [laughs] Or maybe the longest struggle to get another hit.

Following recent criticism of record companies and their control over the charts, you must feel particularly pleased with your achievement. Do you feel like you've beaten the system in some way?
John: I think the music business is probably not happy with what we've done, because the people buying the record have actually got to pick what they want to buy, rather than being told what they should buy. I don't think they like the idea that the people who are buying the record get to choose what goes out, because it's their job. The fans even pre-ordered stock to make sure that I had some sort of presence.

Apparently, two years after your first hit, which was featured on TOTP2 just the other week, you released three instrumental copies of a track and then offered to sing the live vocals to the three people that happened to buy them. Did you actually do that?
John: It's totally true. I offered to come round to their front lounge and sing the vocals along to the backing track. The problem with that plan though was that people had seen me perform live and had seen what havoc I create on stage. They didn't really want me in their living room, swinging around on their curtains and diving over their sofa.

If you had the chance to come back with another hit, would you choose to collaborate with another artist?
John: Well...er...I don't think anyone would want to work with me actually. I'm open to offers though...

Okay, so if the offers don't come pouring in, what will you do next?
John: The only thing that springs to mind is 'Otway, The Movie'. I've already written the script! Oh, yes! And I'd better plug the album. I've always wanted to do a 'greatest hits' album, but there's always been that problem of the last 's'. [He's only had one hit before now. Ed?] But we've finally solved it, so 25 years later, at last I can do it.

If this is the highest point in your career, what would you say has been the lowest?
John: I went through a really low period about 13 years ago, when all aspects of my career and everything went completely wrong. I wrote a book, an autobiography called 'Rock 'n' Roll's Biggest Failure', about how someone can start out as a dustman, have a hit and then nearly end up as a dustman again. It was a very self-effacing and humorous book, so it did really well and everything just started picking up again. Then I started selling myself as rock 'n' roll's biggest failure for the next few years. But what's funny now is that it's getting hard to hang on to that tag.

You're also known as the rock world's favourite crazy uncle. Is that how you'd like to be remembered?
John: I quite like that. There's a line in 'House Of The Rising Sun' to which the audience all heckle, where I sing "And God I know..." and they say "Who's a prat?", and I say "I'm one!" And I really quite like that.

Finally then, if you could choose a TOTP2 line-up which artists would you include?
John: I think I'd have Squeeze in there, Bob Dylan...actually did he do anything for Top Of The Pops? Ah...Van Morrison, he'd be good. I would have the guys that did '2 Pints of Lager and A Packet Of Crisps Please', as I always wished I'd written that song. That's all it took for a hit, two lines. Mmm...who else? We haven't got all day for me to think have we? Oh, Doctor Feelgood and The Hamsters, they're my touring mates and they're all great!

John's causing quite a stir on the messageboards. Click here to found out what people have been saying about the two-hit wonder.

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