[Caller] Hi, My name’s Harry, I just…
I’m being bullied by my so-called friends in my class.
You know, they swear at me, leave me out and say horrible things to me
They make me feel really bad about myself and they tell me that no one likes me and wants me around
They always laugh at me and never say sorry
I feel like no one cares that I’m hurt
I’m feeling down and depressed and I feel like I have to stay friends with them
Otherwise, I’ll be alone, and I can’t tell anyone what’s happening and they’ll call me a snitch.
It can be really difficult to feel self-confident when you experience being bullied
or when people say awful things to you.
It can really affect your mental health and your wellbeing.
And it’s hard to get past what you are experiencing right now
but trust me the people who are making you feel this way
aren’t worth you feeling like you are feeling.
Their opinions honestly won’t matter to you in a few years time so don’t let it affect you right now.
I know how it feels to struggle with your thoughts and wellbeing
and how difficult it can be to get out of that cycle of negative thoughts once you get into it
Because I’ve experienced anxiety and depression myself
When I experience this, I become very introverted and withdrawn and I’m not really chatty
I’m just not really myself!
Growing up I felt like showing my emotions and talking about how I felt was a sign of weakness.
I’d never seen the men around me talk or get upset about how they’re feeling
so I just thought that it was something men didn’t do, so I didn’t either.
But now more than ever I realise it is so important for our wellbeing
to talk and be honest about how we are feeling and our mental health
and it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong being able to be honest about how you are feeling
And to ask for help if you need it.
The biggest thing that changed how I was feeling was finally talking to my friends about it for the first time in my life
And just being open and honest about my mental health and how I was feeling
I remember it was just one day and my friend made a passing comment and asked,
‘are you okay?’ and that was the turning point, I opened up to him and then
as a group of friends we all just started talking about our experiences
and we quickly realised that we’d all been going through similar experiences,
we just hadn’t told each other.
Sharing how I was feeling definitely made me feel less lonely
And it actually brought us all closer together as a group.
I think for me the pressure when you’re younger of feeling like you need to have your life planned out
was so overwhelming and definitely affected how I felt.
I come from a family of very successful people, my brother’s a professional footballer,
my dads a really successful engineer and my cousin’s are both olympians
So I definitely felt the pressure. Not from them, but myself, to have it all worked out
I think it's so important not to make yourself feel like that.
You don’t have to know what you want to do or be right now.
You just need to find hobbies and things that you love and are passionate about and do them.
They might end up being your career and they might not.
For me that’s been music, I absolutely love it, it makes me feel happy
and it really helps me with my mental health.
But it's only more recently that it's become my profession and I wish I’d done it when I was younger
but I was too worried about the stigma of doing something that wasn’t classed as cool.
But trust me, if you love something, just do it.
If I find my mind working overtime and overthinking everything
And if I’m just feeling low, then immersing myself in my music and writing a new song,
It just gives me purpose and focus.
I actually think learning new things in general for me
is such a huge thing that really helps me with my wellbeing.
If I am standing still and not learning I find my mental health gets worse.
If I'm in a new sport, or a hobby - whatever it is
I’m progressing and I’m moving forward and it makes me feel good.
It gives you endless possibilities, you might meet new people or it might be something that helps with your anxiety.
There are lots of other steps and exercises you can try if bullying or any other issue
is impacting on your wellbeing, and our expert Alex is going to share some with you
[Alex] It’s really important to take care of yourself as this will help with your overall well being
and in turn will help your confidence and self-esteem.
Taking care of yourself means doing things just for you to help you feel better.
Self-care can take time and practice, but the more you do it, the easier it can get.
This can include things like ensuring you’re taking a moment each day to relax
And doing something that you love, like reading or listening to music
Taking a nice hot bath or going for a walk
You might also want to think about taking a break from screens and social media
So you can really focus on yourself.
Learning to slow-down your thoughts and focus on the moment can help you to feel better and happier,
It will help you to concentrate and study, or work better
and to find new ways to cope with situations.
You could try a breathing exercise - take five deeps breaths in through your nose out through your mouth
This will focus your mind on the breathing and away from those busy thoughts.
To keep your mind healthy try to do at least one of these steps everyday.
[Wes] These are great exercises and steps that you can try to help you with your wellbeing.
Remember, find that thing that you love, that gives you a focus and that keeps you wanting to learn and just do it.
If you feel scared about opening up to a group of friends, just choose that one person,
that one person that you feel like you can talk to and speak to them one-to-one
Talking about how you’re feeling can really really help
You should always tell someone about the things that you’re worried about.
You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher or another trusted adult.
There are also links to helpful organisations on the BBC Action Line website.
This short film deals with sensitive subject matter and teacher review is recommended before use in class.
The film begin with a young person, Harry, describing his experiences of being bullied by his friends. Harry is played by an actor and his story is a reconstruction based on a real call to Childline. Harry feels anxious and hurt by his friends' behaviour but doesn’t want to fall out with them and doesn’t know what to do or who to talk to.
Wes talks about his own experiences of feeling anxiety and isolation and not being able to talk to anyone, especially when under pressure to do well. Once he took the difficult step to open up to his friends he found that they also had their own struggles and he wishes he had talked to them before instead of struggling alone. He now has a range of techniques that help him when he feels anxious.
Alex, the expert from Childline gives practical suggestions to help manage anxiety and improve wellbeing, which include the following steps:
- Take time to do something that you love
- Take a break from screens
- Breathing exercises might help you to focus on the moment
The reconstructions are based on real calls from Childline service users, but are not necessarily direct quotes. All names and potentially identifying details have been changed to protect the identity of the child or young person involved.
Before watching the film
Set up a working agreement or set of group rules before watching the film. Make it clear that there is no pressure on students to share any personal experiences. They can talk about the characters in the phone call reconstructions and the contributors’ experiences instead. Remind students that the classroom is be a safe space to discuss and share thoughts if they wish to, and that they should be aware of and respect others’ opinions and experiences. Remind them also that you cannot guarantee absolute confidentiality but will talk to individuals if you have any concerns. The agreement should include how and where to access support if needed.
People of different genders, backgrounds and cultures may approach their mental health in different ways. Talk about the pressures on young people and whether gender makes a difference. Be sensitive that young people from some cultural backgrounds may not find it easy to talk about mental health and remind them they don’t have to talk about themselves. Use the distancing technique to ensure that the students feel safe and comfortable talking about the issues in the films. Talk about what the contributors say or talk about ‘someone who.’
Open up a general discussion about mental health and as a group come up with words they associate with the topic of the film. Remind the students that if they need any support at any point they can ask, either during or after the lesson.
After watching the film
- How can we keep our minds healthy and stop ourselves from becoming overwhelmed?
- Are there pressures on young people to behave a certain way depending on gender, culture and background? What advice would you give someone who wanted to start to open up about their mental health?
- How could you support a friend who opened up about their mental health to you? Remember you don’t have to solve their problems, just be there for them and be a good listener.
As a group, talk about ways that everyone can support each other with their mental health. You may even want to create a class charter around more positive mental health or encourage each student to make a list of three practical things they can do to support their own positive mental health.
Make sure that students are supported in their own mental health and wellbeing by signposting support that is available in school, locally and nationally. Remind them that they can always speak to their GP or local services.
Remind students that if they or someone they know has suicidal thoughts then it is important to get help immediately. This is not something they should have to deal with alone.
More resources in this collection
Time to talk about... anxiety with Tom Grennan. video
Tom Grennan discusses his own experiences with anxiety, alongside real-life testimony and expert advice.
Time to talk about... self-esteem with Zara McDermott. video
Zara Mcdermott discusses her own experiences with self-esteem and self-confidence issues, alongside real-life testimony and expert advice.
Time to talk about... stress with Katie Thistleton. video
Katie Thistleton discusses her own experiences of stress, alongside real-life testimony and expert advice.
Time to talk about... depression with Roman Kemp. video
Roman Kemp discusses his own experiences of depression, alongside real-life testimony and expert advice.
