Just because the story has finished, doesn't mean the writing stops there! Teach children to read their stories aloud and edit them to get the best draft. You can play this animation, which is just one in a writing series, in class or at home to help children submit a story to the best of their ability.
Ta dah! I've finished my story. At least, I think so.
But a story isn't really finished until it's been read out loud to make sure it's the best it can be. Maybe I could read it to Mum? Not yet. Too much pressure. Or I could record myself on my phone? No. My voice always sounds funny when I listen back to
it. I know! I'll read the story to my reflection and I can make corrections and changes as we go along.
Hm…
The story starts with me walking to the laboratory. Hang on. That's a bit boring. I could add a bit of mystery. I'm walking through a forest to a secret laboratory in an old manor house. Much better! Inside, Doctor Smith and Doctor Jones are hard at
work. "Today's the day!" says Doctor Jones, "The day we…" Hang on. Do we even need the bit where I walk to the laboratory? No. Let's get straight into the action. I arrive at the manor house right at the start, and it's dark and a storm is raging. Much
better! "Today's the day!" says Doctor Jones, "The day we change the world forever!" She straps me into the machine and… Hang on. The machine needs a name. Doctor Jones straps me into the Soul Extractor and says, "In ten seconds your soul will be…"
Hang on. I spent ages describing Doctor Smith, but we don't need him. Doctor Jones says, "In ten seconds, your soul will be removed from your body and converted into computer code!"
There's a big countdown. That's good. Builds up the tension. Then I'm suddenly… a character in a computer game! Hang on. That's been done before. So maybe my soul is sent at the speed of light to a different planet, and I end up in the body of an alien!
That's better. But the ending stays the same. My soul is lost in space, never to return!
Ah! Great. Ready to read it to Mum!
Teacher Notes
This video could be incorporated into specific reading and writing exercises, for example, Edit sentences by improving descriptions, perform story with intonation, voice.
For less able pupils’ access 5-7 version.
Curriculum Notes
This video is suitable for use with pupils aged 7-11. It is designed primarily for support with the BBC 500 Words competition but could also support the teaching of English and Literacy for this age range.
This links directly to the English Programmes of Study at KS2 (England and Wales), 2nd Level (Scotland) and KS1/KS2 (Northern Ireland).
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Back to 500 Words
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