Poetry

John Smith otherwise known as John from Waiterhays (Waterhays...nr.Newcastle) has been writing Potternese poems now for close on 3 years.

His first voyage into the artistic rhyming couplet began whilst listening to Den's early breakfast show. Inspired by the folk of Stoke he began to capture the heritage and warmth of the locality in verse.

Stoke folk

Born and bred in the potteries he is proud to list his choice of residencies over the years to include most of the five towns, living at one time or other in 'neck end' of Longton, Bucknall, Stoke and Waterhays before being exiled to Madeley Heath.

A machinist engineer by trade, poet by night his interest are Curries, walking in the sticks and Port Vale.

He is married to Lynn whom he has been wed to for 29 years and has two daughters Sarah and Cheryl, a son Darren and grandaughter Lilly.

Past Poems

The Beast on Biddulph Moor

I said th' wife hey duck thee nowst we've had a busy week
Lets treat ourselves just for a change and have a run ite Leek

It was orait I supped a few it was a rait good nait
The trouble was I cudner drive I was in no fit state

They come in handy dunner they its good the wife was theer
She'd stayed on waiter all the nait she hadner had no beer

So she's at the wheel I knew wots comin she didner know the way
And I'm haif cut there's no two ways I knew wer'e gonner stray

I said "hey duck which way ye goin?" she said"I onner sure"
Then moments later I saw a sign wer'e now in Biddulph Moor

It then got worse in front of us and staggering from side to side
A scary creature approaching us but theres nowhere to hide

I thought thats it weve had it now its gonner have our skin
It turned out nothing more than Den just left the local inn

Knypersley Nightmare

When we went Leek it was so good I thought we'd goo again
Surely lightening dunner strike twice We wunner bump into Den

We started slow and had a meal I said its time to drink
A beer or two a wine or three Its top shelf time I think

The night went on its gettin late There seems a bigger crowd
The missus anner drunk again The wench she's done me proud

Women and directions well Again she's lost her way
It inner Biddulph Moor this time Instead its Knypersley

Its dark and somethings lurking there Just passed the reservoir
We carried on then suddenly Its climbing on our car

Again I thought we'd had our chips It was an awfull sight
Thayt never guess its Den again The pubs just kicked him ite

Crisis time & Wine

(To be song to the music of 'Mistletoe & wine')

Its Christmas time, we’ve barely got a dime

Instead of whiskey, its lager and lime

No logs on the fire, not gifts on the tree

Its credit crunch time, for both you and me

We’d like to be spending, we’d like to be saving

For places like Woolworths, its looks like the ending

Its sad to see pot banks, like Spode going too

The next generation, lets hope they pull through.

Potters Lunch Box

Thee waikst up and the sun is ite surely everything should be fine

It’s breakfast time but I drop me toast guess what its butter side dine

I’ll settle fer a cup o tay gorra be work in aif an hour

But the milks bin ite the fridge o nait turned yeller and gone sour

Le’ts have a gandy in the fridge i’ll get me sarnies cut

Yum yum corned dog with brine soase but I spilled it on me foot

The missus then took over and got on with the wrappin

I knew I was gooin work with a decent bag o snappin

Supermarket time

If the carparks ite to goo by then the supermarkets full

The trolleys packed in really tight it took a rait good pull

I’ve picked the one with the dodgy wheel I’m finding it hard to steer

I’m aiming straight between the aisles but its gooin everweer

Decided to pull the thing instead its the only way get rinde

Wowkin backwards aif the way folks thowt I’d lost me mind

Lookin fer things that are on me list but finding it pretty damn tough

Up n’ dine n’ left n’ right I’m sure thee hide the stuff

Two hours on me trolly’s full I finally gorrit sust

I’d had enough I want goo wom I made it but only just

The checkites o’ av massive queues I think I’ve chosen rait

But the one I’m in it dunner move I’m gonner be ere o’ nait

Gettin gooin in the garden

The weather ite theer’s pickin up It inner dark at nait

I’m getting gooin in the garden and wonner do it rait

I’m plantin ite me seedlings but there’s summit in the way

I wish I’d never put it theer this bloomin great big tray

It’s one o’ them big conifers it must be twenty foot toe

I should av kept it in the pot and shoved it gen the woe

Me plants are gonner get good care I’ll give em plenty o’ waiter

I wanner do a rait good job and grow a better taiter

To hear some of John's work spoken by the man himself click on the links below