Serena 6-0 6-4 Larcher De Brito
Ace out wide for 15-0. LdB takes advantage of a Serena slip to put away a backhand for 15-15, but a crashing first serve brings up 30-15. Ace down the middle for 40-15, and there's another - dominant display from the reigning champion, and she's through with a wave and a half-curtsy.

* Serena 6-0 5-4 Larcher De Brito
Serena mixes things up on the LdB second serve and tosses in a casual dropper - it's not all that, but LdB panics and flicks it into the tramlines. Hefty return followed by a crunching forehand into the backhand corner for 30-30, and when a forehand from LdB sails long Serena has match point, just 57 minutes gone. Williams looks in control, the backhand court open - no, forehand right onto the 't' of the tape. Backhand long from Serena, and LdB stays alive. For at least the next two minutes.

Serena 6-0 5-3 Larcher De Brito *
Now - can she get a toe-hold in the Williams serve? That's super scurrying, forcing Serena deeper and deeper, turning her this way and that - 15-15. Ouch - ace down the middle, another out wide, a third serve so hot that LdB can only frame into the net. The end, you sense, is nigh.

* Serena 6-0 4-3 Larcher De Brito
LdB bounced the ball at her feet, long curly hair half constrained by a combo of white golf visor and ponytail. Serena goes long, and with LdB slipping and lying spreadeagled like Bambi, puts another forehand beyond the baseline. Popular pluck from the Portu-gal.

Serena 6-0 4-2 Larcher De Brito *
"UGH!" grunts Serena. "Ooeee!" screams LdB. The world has changed since Kitty Godfree tip-toed round this turf. Wonderful power from Serena, each low-down forehand faster than the one before.

* Serena 6-0 3-2 Larcher De Brito
Splendid exchange of rapid-fire backhands, skimming flat over the tape accompanied by a scream and grunt. LdB has a great chance at 40-15, running in to a mid-court forehand put-away, but she flays it into the net and sinks to her knees in horror. Oh, splendid forehand pass, and is that long from Serena? Yup - another hold of serve from the slim-limbed Iberian, and the sun-hatted thousands are right behind her.

Anon via text to 81111: "I'm guessing a single finger nail took longer to paint than that first set..."

Serena 6-0 3-1 Larcher De Brito *
Of course, she might just have made Serena angry. Ace number eight to take it to 30-15 after a sweet forehand drive gives LdB brief hope; number nine for 40-15 and long from LdB for the game.

* Serena 6-0 2-1 Larcher De Brito
More trouble for LdB as she slips to 0-30, and there are murmurs of sympathy from the patrons toasting in the blistering June sunshine. But that's more like it - error forced, better backhand, game point - sealed, as Reenie thunks a forehand into the net. Farewell, double bagel! The crowd greet its disappearance with the biggest cheer of the day so far.

Serena 6-0 2-0 Larcher De Brito *
Serena making a decent old racquet of her own now, barrelling down the big booming serves. LdB has around 0.5 seconds to react to each one, and those are ugly numbers. Ace, crunch, ace. Effortless.

* Serena 6-0 1-0 Larcher De Brito
Much better from LdB, who's ramped up the volume on her ooofs - she's staying in the points longer, and - ah. Serena's decided to do some ramping up of her own, and LdB is in trouble again - just wide with a backhand cross-court, and then flopping one into the net to give away another break. Tough times out there for the teen.

Serena 6-0 Larcher De Brito
Glimpse there of Serena's nails - she's got spangly sparkly silver varnish over each one, with a small 'S' in the middle. Cheeky. Super combo of forehand into backhand corner followed by one the other way, and Champ has two set points. One is saved with a hurried backhand wide, but an ace down the middle snaffles the other. 22 minutes, that took...

* Serena 5-0 Larcher De Brito
LdB taking a fearful pasting here, struggling to land her first serves and frantically chasing the howitzers coming from across the net - forehand into the net, backhand long. Anyone smell a bagel warming up?

Serena 4-0 Larcher De Brito *
Backhand pass down the line from LdB, and the crowd cheer a point taken from the Williams serve. Oof - that's the way to snuff out a spark, hammering down three brutal aces to draw gasps from the stunned punters.

* Serena 3-0 Larcher De Brito
LdB's making her third appearance at Wimbledon, and the furthest she's gone before is the second round - on this showing so far, she might have to wait another year to match that feat. Pulverising returns to a powerpuff serve, one cross-court forehand winner fizzing across the net like a guided missile, and another break is taken - this time to love.

Serena 2-0 Larcher De Brito *
Serena's never lost in the first round of a Grand Slam tournament, and she's been in 42 of them. Intimidating stuff. Lovely slow wind-up on that serve, and LdB can only frame that high into the air - easy overhead put-away. That's a better return - double-fisted backhand into Serena's backhand corner for a winner - but a thumping first serve is too good, and Williams is in control.

* Serena 1-0 Larcher De Brito
Larcher de Brito (LdB from here on in) to serve, and Champ is all over her from the start - battering forehand pass, and that's frightening. The 17-year-old responds well though - super running forehand down the line, and the crowd applaud their approval. Wooh - double-fault from the Portuguese, and when she goes long with a forehand under pressure, Serena has the early break.

* denotes next server

1305: Hold on - Serena's wearing red knick-knacks. That must be the strawberry element. I could see a bigwig kicking off about those - not very Wimbledon. It's no Anne White catsuit, don't get me wrong, but you contravene rules round here at your peril.

1302: Venus, of course, is wearing a dress inspired by Tina Turner. You think I'm joking. If she moves like Turner she could be in big trouble. Maybe Rafa Nadal will come out afterwards in an outfit inspired by Ike Turner - checkerboard flares, satin shirt open to the waist, thunderous look on his face.

1300: Here come the players - Serena is wearing a dress apparently inspired by strawberries and cream. Not obvious visual clues (say, strawberries or, erm, cream) - maybe it just costs eight times as much as you'd pay elsewhere.

1258: One more thing - if you're looking at the video above these words, it's switch from Anne Keothavong to 'Reenie shortly.

1255: Quick heads-up for you - should you want to watch this particular match on the television box, you'll have to red button it between 1300 and 1340 - something about a Budget something or other. I'll be here regardless of what the Chancellor says, unless he's got plans to implement instant swingeing cuts to text commentators.

1252: All well? Scorching out there on Centre, and who's up first? Defending ladies champion vs rank outsider, aka Serena vs Squeaker.