 Can you take cover point, please? |
New Zealand's nostalgia-loving army of cricket fans, the Beige Brigade, are bribing their own players to hark back to yesteryear by growing moustaches.
To the delight of the Kiwi contingent, their heroes will be wearing those fetchingly tight two-tone brown outfits in the Twenty20 match against Australia on 17 February at Eden Park, Auckland.
It is the same gear as donned by members of the Beige Brigade themselves when they go on their travels - hence the name.
Of course, it's the look first portrayed by the likes of Richard Hadlee and Jeremy Coney in the halcyon days of the early 1980s.
But whereas Hadlee and Coney were among those players to sport the archetypal bushy moustaches of that era, today's cricketers are either clean-shaven or sport a fuzz of all-over stubble, a la actor Russell Crowe.
 Lance Cairns sporting the New Zealand beige look circa 1984 |
The Beige Brigade, motto "It's About Passion, not Fashion", wants things to change.
"Any player who fronts up with a real moustache on their face will get 'a lot' of beer delivered to their local cricket club," it announces in a media release.
"If we're bringing back the horrendous colours of that era, then why not go the whole hog?"
Curiously using the 32nd anniversary of Hadlee's Test debut to launch the challenge, the Brigade warned: "Something more significant than stubble will have to be developed by the player to secure the beer reward - a thick growth is required.
"There will also be bonus points awarded to players with straight hair who opt for a perm (Daniel Vettori, Stephen Fleming) and to those with curly hair who go in for some hair straightening (Kyle Mills, Hamish Marshall)."
If New Zealand's players take this challenge seriously they are almost bound to win the match - the Aussies would be so overcome by giggles they would be unable to concentrate on cricket.