By Chris Charles BBC Sport Online

Mark Bosnich has finally packed up his troubles and left Chelsea.

The goalkeeper's 14-day notice of dismissal expired on Tuesday, ending his miserable two-year stay in west London.

A positive test for cocaine proved to be the last straw - but what did Bosnich get up to on his last day at Stamford Bridge? We take an educated guess.

Locker gloom

Bossie opens his locker for the last time and begins to remove the contents.

He had to lock 'er away with Sophie

They include: A brand new pair of unused goalkeeping gloves; A jar of Vegemite; An Alex Ferguson dartboard; A portable barbie and a German soldier fancy dress outfit - complete with comedy moustache.

Model girlfriend Sophie Anderton fights for space with Kylie on the inside of the door and a stack of videos are visible, including one clearly labelled 'Dwight Night'.

Giving it all back

Before he departs, Marky Mark hands over the keys to his company car, together with a collection of shirts, shorts and socks - all in tip-top condition.

He then scrapes the sand off his shoes and places it back on the 'pitch', before swapping back a Now 41 CD for his Men at Work album (oh the irony).

Emotional goodbyes

Bossie says his cheerios to a few of the Chelsea lads and the canteen staff who have stuck by him through fat and thin.

It's pasta la vista to healthy eating

The latter serve up a final platter of steak and chips with all the trimmings and a selection of unhealthy cream cakes (who's going to tell him he's got to stick to pasta now)?

As a parting gift he receives a giant kipper to shove in Ken Bates' exhaust pipe on his way out.

Free man

As he walks out on to the King's Road for possibly the last time, Bossie wipes away a tear and snaps up a few leaving presents for himself.

The list includes a new set of golf clubs, a gold watch, and a pipe and slippers set.

The end

Time to chill

Bossie packs a few summer clothes, whistles for his chauffeur and heads for Heathrow, picking up his stunning supermodel girlfriend on the way.

Cheer up old son - it could be worse.