Good King Goldenballs kicked out at old Simeone

He lost his head, the card was red, the walk back very lonely

The next two years were filled with tears as effigies swung high

As Europe's top clubs sniffed around, you sensed the end was nigh

In that time came two bright stars to help Becks feel more chipper,

First was Posh, his lovely wife, who gave birth to his nipper

Baby Brooklyn was his name - the place Becks sowed his seed

Thank God he didn't get the urge on a sofa bed in Leeds

Back out on the football field things were still quite tricky

England's dreams were fading as the Germans took the mickey

But from 'neath the big dark cloud came a ray of light

Up stepped Sven and there and then everything was all right

Now King Goldenballs is hailed as a national treasure

The cruel heartbreak of '98 has given way to pleasure

So the moral to this tale of saint defeating sinner

As long as you can bend a ball, you can be a winner

Thanks to the BBC Sport Online choir - Christine Demsteader, Fleur Richards, Ben Dirs, Pete Sanderson, Steve Cresswell, Mike Burnett, Tom Fordyce, Mark Ashenden and Chris Charles.