Joined at the hip: Keane and Haaland

While Keane is an amiable bloke off the pitch, he can be a bit unfriendly on match day, especially if your name is Alf-Inge Haaland.

After his X-rated tackle on Haaland during the Manchester derby last April, it was clear that the two players are hardly the best of buddies.

Keane missed most of the 1997/98 season after damaging crucial ligaments fouling the defender, who was then at Leeds, and was clearly out for revenge last time around.

Certainly the two could do with a 'kiss and make up' session, but Keane may not need to worry as Manchester derbies will not be happening for a long time after City's relegation last season.

Elleray and Keane resume their annual blinking contest

Clearly, the Manchester United hardman does not always see eye-to-eye with referees and linesman.

Sometimes he cannot see them at all with all the red mist flying about, especially if their name is David Elleray, who has been responsible for two of his last four red cards.

And even when he can see them, it seems they may be the ones with impaired vision.

One of his two yellow cards, which led to his eventual sending off against Newcastle in February 2000 was telling the linesman that he needed glasses. Not a good idea, Roy.

Shearer puts on his 'what, me?' look

At school, there is always a kid in every class who gets caught for everything while his fellow conspirators continually escape punishment.

When it comes to football, Keane may be the one - as other players, perhaps no less guilty, get off Scott free.

His run-in with Alan Shearer on Saturday was the perfect example, prompting Geordie legend Malcolm MacDonald to comment: "If Roy Keane hasn't worked out what Alan Shearer is going to do as he runs the clock down, without getting sent off, then he's not using his brain."

Keane could benefit from reciting a few verses of "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."