2200: Take that, Europa League naysayers. A veritable goalfest tonight. I very much hope to see you on Saturday when we'll see if the Premier League can break its draw drought. Bye bye.

2158: A good night for Everton and Fulham. A very, very bad one for Hearts.

From anon via text on 81111: "Lescott can go now, Rodwell rocks."

2148: Dinamo Zagreb have had 21 shots, Hearts have had one, say the stats. And you know what they say: the stats don't lie. (Except on those occasions when they do.)

2146: If you're a Hearts fan, or indeed a Sigma Olomouc or Amkar Perm fan, I've got something that might bring a smile to your face. It's like It's A Knockout never went away.

So close to five for Dinamo Zagreb. Sensational cross from Ivan Tomecak from the right and Dimitris Papadopoulos is sliding in on it. The ball comes off his other leg though, hits the post and goes behind.

2139: As a few of you have pointed out, Scottish football not having a great time of it recently. The national team lost a vital World Cup qualifying game in Norway. Aberdeen and Motherwell went out in the previous round of Europa League qualifying - Aberdeen losing 8-1 on aggregate to the team currently 4-0 down at Everton. Celtic facing a mountain to climb against Arsenal... I won't go on.

Everton look to have wrapped this up already. They can get ready for a nice holiday in the historic town of Olomouc. Great turn and shot from Louis Saha, who scores with a fine left-footed drive from outside the box.

Amkar pull one back at Craven Cottage. Substitute Vitali Grishin finds the top corner from just inside the box.

Damien Duff finally comes on to a loud cheer, replacing Zoltan Gera. Seconds later, he slips the ball to Bobby Zamora, who belts a shot into the net with his right foot.

2129: Martin Jol's Ajax are 4-0 up at home to Slovan Bratislava. Not so surprising, you might think. But get this: Luis Suarez has scored not one, not two, not three but all FOUR goals. Ronaldo Naldo is among the goals tonight too, but with a piffling two for Werder Bremen, who lead Aktobe 6-2.

2126: The Zagreb crowd want more goals - and they may well get them. Hearts are all over the place and have to clear off the line there. The Dinamo keeper has made one save so far.

From madnutter0102 on Twitter: "This is painful viewing, Hearts are being taught a lesson."

2124: Fulham striker Andy Johnson is fouled by Dmitry Belorukov as he races upfield - and the defender is booked. Loud boos from the crowd. And Johnson can't continue. Erik Nevland comes on.

And it's raining goals in Zagreb. Far too easy for the hosts. The corner comes over from the right from Pedro Morales and Marius Zaliukas and Ian Black are static as Igor Biscan storms in to connect with a header which gives Marian Kello no chance. Igor Biscan... where have I heard that name before?

And how about Everton's third? It's another Leighton Baines free-kick, this one punched out by the keeper. Steven Pienaar rolls the ball into the path of Jack Rodwell, who lashes a vicious shot into the top right-hand corner from 25 yards.

That Dinamo goal first - and it's a belter. Ivica Vrdoljak cuts inside Eggert Jonnson, and with team-mate Marijo Mandzukic screaming for the pass, he curls a lovely right-footed shot past keeper Marian Kello.

2112: Hearts under pressure again. Marijo Mandzukic leaves Jose Goncalves on his backside and cuts in towards goal, but he slips at the vital moment and his shot drifts wide.

Mark Schwarzer denies Perm skipper Martin Kushev, whose shot from eight yards needs a smart save, but moments later Clint Dempsey scores with a 20-yard right foot shot that gives the keeper no chance.

From QMC on 606: "Re 2057: Just to point out - Martin O'Neill played the strongest side in most Villa fans eyes - Friedel is past it, Gabby hasn't played well in 2009, and at the weekend Petrov offered no fight and no passion for the cause (despite being captain) and was rightly dropped. Unfortunately our best striker - Carew - was injured and we have no creativity and our defence is appalling in both quality and quantity. Seriously angry right now!"

2106: We're up and running again.

From Belfast-Chris on 606: "I thought St Patricks gave a stunning performance and were unlucky to concede three!"

2059: Bad news for my favourite Europa League team: FK Qarabag have gone down 3-1 at Steve MaClaren's FC Twente. In other news: Roma drew 3-3 at MFK Kosice and Steaua Bucharest cruised past St Patricks 3-0.

2057: Just popped on to the Aston Villa section of 606 and I wouldn't recommend Martin O'Neill does likewise (just in case he's reading on the way back from Vienna). There are some seriously unhappy Villa fans out there. Just to be clear: O'Neill made four changes to his side, leaving Brad Friedel, Gabby Agbonlahor and Stiliyan Petrov on the bench. So hardly a second string, but perhaps not his strongest line-up?

From Scott M in the Lower Gwladys, via text on 81111: "Much more like the Everton of last season those last 15 minutes. Who needs Lescott when we have Rodwell?!"

2053: Bobby Zamora appears to be at the centre of everything for Fulham but Andy Johnson and Clint Dempsey are being thwarted by keeper Sergey Narubin, who is keeping the Russian side in the tie. Fulham keeper Mark Schwarzer has only really been tested by Amkar once, but Bulgarian midfielder Georgy Peev shot straight at the Australian.

2051: Everton overcome a shaky start before coming back strongly. Perhaps slightly flattered by that scoreline though. Joleon Lescott, for your information, is watching from the stands. He has a price tag around his neck.

2050: How long can big Christian Nade last up front for Hearts? He is utterly soaked with sweat and clearly suffering in the humidity.

From det66 on Twitter: "Anyone else think O'Neill has learned nothing from last year?"

Leighton Baines' free-kick hits the wall but young Jack Rodwell buries the follow-up. Sigma almost pull one back immediately, Ladislav Onofrej galloping down the left and crossing for Michael Hubnik, who is inches away from connecting.

After surviving several early scares, Marouane Fellaini provides a low cross from the right and Louis Saha nips in ahead of the keeper to volley it in at the near post.

More poor defending from Hearts, and again it is punished. The cross comes over from the right and Marijo Mandzukic nods it back across goal. Ismael Bouzid attempts to clear but heads straight to a Dinamo player, and though Marian Kello parries the initial shot, Dimitris Papadopoulos rolls in the rebound.

From Greg, exasperated but now thawed out Hearts fan in London, via text on 81111: "I spent a few months teaching English in Perm. The first thing I learned after stepping off the plane was that it gave it's name to permafrost. Should have Googled that before I rocked up in November with only my North Face and woolly socks."

2029: Jesus Manuel Santana Abreu wins a free-kick for Hearts after a promising run down the right. Poor delivery though. The Jambos' pre-season fitness training is being put to the test this week. On Monday they lost at Dundee United, reduced to 10 men when Michael Stewart got sent off, now they travel to play in the heat in Zagreb, and on Sunday they face league champions Rangers. Ouch.

2027: First chance for Everton, Leon Osman's shot takes a deflection and is tipped over by Sigma keeper Petr Drobisz.

2022: Oof. Pedro Morales, wearing the famous 77 shirt for Dinamo Zagreb, leaves the cross bar shaking with a vicious, dipping shot from 25 yards. Hearts doing well to keep it to 1-0 at the moment.

2021: Awful marking by Hearts. Dimitris Papadopoulos has a free header from a cross from the left but Marian Kello turns it behind for a corner... from which Marijo Mandzukic should score his second, but heads straight at Kello.

2018: Another well-worked move from Sigma at Goodison Park. It ends with a Michal Ordos shot from 20 yards, which Tim Howard tips over over.

2015: Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill rested several players for the game at Rapid Vienna, so may not be too disappointed with a 1-0 defeat. Incidentally, should you wish to get involved tonight, I'd very much welcome your texts on 81111, your 606-iness on, er, 606 or you can have a go on Twitter.

2010: Eventful at Goodison Park too - albeit still goalless. Tim Howard is fortunate not to give away a penalty as he charges out and clatters into Jakub Petr. Moments later, Michael Hubnik is clipped by Howard just outside the area, but is booked for diving.

And in Zagreb - where it's a sweltering 36C - Hearts keeper Marian Kello can't backpedal quick enough to get to Jorge Sammir's right-wing cross and Mario Mandzukic is at the far post to nod the Croat side in front.

Right let's start putting some flesh on these goal bones, shall we? First that Fulham opener: Andy Johnson slots the ball past Sergey Narubini from close range after a fine early ball from Bobby Zamora.

1959: Fulham's new £4m signing Damien Duff is on the bench tonight as Roy Hodgson picks an unchanged side from Saturday's win over Portsmouth. Perm is the eastern-most city in Europe. It has nothing to do with a hairstyle made famous by Kevin Keegan.

1956: Are you in the UK? Are you reading this on the web? If so, you might like to give this page a manual refresh, then you can sit back, relax and watch Dinamo Zagreb v Hearts.

From HeavensChimney on 606: "Scenes from the 2002 television serial Doctor Zhivago were filmed in Olomouc."

1953: Olomouc has more churches in ratio to population than any other town in the Czech Republic. It is famous for its International Organ Festival, and Mozart once visited there. Mozart died of a sore throat, we learnt today.

1949: And finally Everton, fresh from a 6-1 drubbing by Arsenal and another sorry twist in the Joleon Lescott transfer saga, face Sigma Olomouc, the Czech side who thrashed Aberdeen 8-1 on aggregate in the previous round. Phil Neville replaces Lescott in defence, with Jack Rodwell coming into midfield. Louis Saha is preferred to Jo up front.

1947: Fulham, meanwhile, are up against Russian side Amkar Perm. Amkar are fourth bottom in their domestic league, and rely on 35-year-old Bulgarian Martin Kushev to score their goals.

1943: The bad news if you're a Hearts fan is that Dinamo Zagreb are in a bit of form. In their first four games of the Prva Liga in Croatia, they've scored 21 goals. That, stat fans, is an average of 5.25 per game. Eek. The Jambos, meanwhile, began the SPL season with a 2-0 defeat at Dundee United.

1939: Usain Bolt has just smashed the 200m world record. Yawn.

1937: But listen here: good news if you're a Hearts fan. Their match at Dinamo Zagreb is live on BBC2 in Scotland and ON THIS WEBSITE (UK only). As for the games at Goodison Park and Craven Cottage, I can only imagine what will go on there. No, seriously. I can only imagine. But don't worry, I guarantee it will be fun.

1934: I only ask because there seems to be some sort of football black-out tonight, hence why I haven't been keeping you updated with Rapid Vienna v Aston Villa. Rapid scored after 40 seconds and still lead 1-0, if you're interested.

1930: Has someone forgotten to tell our televisions about the magic of the Europa League?